原文：
A David 'Bickham' sex doll, an imaginary girlfriend, or a live fox for £313? The weird and, er, wonderful things for sale on Taobao - China's version of eBay
- The Chinese site has 760million varying items on offer at any one time
- Range from the everyday, to the unusual and the plain disgusting
- Include pee pots for children, blue tarantulas for spider lovers, raincoats for dogs who don't like the rain and even boyfriends for the lonely
- However, site does have limits and has banned placenta products
By
JAMIE FULLERTON IN BEIJING FOR MAILONLINE
PUBLISHED: 09:06 GMT, 17 March 2015 | UPDATED: 16:53 GMT, 17 March 2015
Those wondering exactly where they can find human breast milk soap, a live fox or a David 'Bickham' sex doll need look no further: China's answer to eBay stocks them all.
Taobao is a treasure-trove for those hunting for the unusual, eccentric or just plain worrying, boasting around 760million products for sale at any one time.
It was thanks to China's biggest shopping hub that the world got to see the planet's most unflattering dress: a knock-off of a slinky red carpet outfit worn by Thor actress Jaime Alexander in 2013.
Broken promises: Taobao hit the headlines last week after one seller sold this slinky dress - only for the buyer to post pictures of what it actually looked like once she put it on
The purchaser had expected the daring number to arrive and transform her into the siren wearing the dress on Taobao, which was founded in 2003.
But the result was so disappointing she shared it on the seller's site - and it quickly went viral.
Yet it is still not the most horrifying item for sale on Taobao, thanks to China's lax trading laws.
Because while many use the site to top up on standard products like furniture, clothes, electronics and other home essentials, it seems others are looking for more outlandish products.
Buy a Bickham: The David Bickham doll is a bargain at just £52.10 - although it is shorter than the real thing
Bargain: The seller says the best points are the rotating arms and the sex doll's realistic eyelashes
The David Bickham sex doll is no doubt one of the more popular on offer on Tabao - although it has to be said, at 1.7 metres it is 13 centimetres shorter than its real-life inspiration.
All the same, at £52.10 the pink shirted Mr Bickham could certainly be seen as a bargain - and the suppliers know it.
One Taobao user quibbled the price, with the seller responding: 'We have arms that can rotate 360 degrees, even the hair and eye-lashes are well-made.'
Those who prefer a living, breathing person to an inflatable doll can purchase this through Taobao as well.
Should one be in need of a boyfriend, Taobao has a few available to hire.
Boyfriends for hire are increasingly popular in China, with demand rising thanks to the phenomenon of the 'leftover woman': a phrase to describe any woman who reaches her late-20s single.
Many fake boyfriends are used by women sick of parents nagging them about not having other halves, so they take home a pretend one to appease them.
The fake boyfriend pictured below says he has a 'distinct look and a warm personality'. Services start at £54.30 - with prices rising depending on the perceived attractiveness of the man for hire.
However, sex is not one of the services provided.
Partner: The fake boyfriend pictured below says he has a 'distinct look and a warm personality'
Contact: This WeChat girlfriend will text you up to 15 times a day - but nothing rude
Taobao is not just for girls when it comes to dating, however.
Fake girlfriends are also available on the website - although these ones are purely remote, like the WeChat Girlfriend.
WeChat is China's most popular smartphone messaging app, and for £2.06 a day the user will get at least 15 messages from their pretend princess.
However, don't expect any funny business.
'Warning: WeChat girlfriends sold here are healthy and morally-righteous girls,' the description reads.
'Guys who have unhealthy demands please go away.'
But it is not all about sex: animals, and animal related products, can both be found on the website.
There are plenty of treats for China's pampered pooches - who, some believe, are treated like children due to the recently relaxed one child policy.
The cascade of dog clothes on Taobao, such as these snazzy £4 raincoats, does little to dispel the idea.
Pampered: There are plenty of outfits for dogs - including raincoats to keep them out of the rain
Dry: It is thought the dogs suits are popular because the Chinese treat their canines like children
Dress up: There are plenty of outfits to dress a cat in, including this Santa suit - with arms
Unamused: One purchaser complained their cat refused to wear the Father Christmas costume
It's not all about the dogs, however: there are all manner of feline-friendly get-ups available too, including a Santa outfit, complete with a mildly troubling 'double arm' effect.
But just because it is on sale doesn't mean your cat will love it.
One user said they bought it, but were left disappointed when the pet refused to wear the £4.15 Santa suit.
Then there are the animals themselves.
China has a questionable animal rights record, and exotic pets are often freely available on sites such as Taobao.
Currently on sale is a live fox, with an asking price of £313 - although exactly how it will be delivered is not entirely clear.
Trade: Animals can be bought on Taabao, like this fox - which costs £313
Postage and packaging: It is unclear exactly how a person is expected to receive their fox in the post
Scary: Apparently these spiders are popular with Europeans 'who believe Royals blood is blue'
A more affordable – and colourful – option than getting a pet fox is to plump for one of these £32.50 tarantulas.
Sold as babies, the sellers promise they will bloom into big hairy blue adults.
However, exactly how accurate this promise is is brought into question by the sellers debatable knowledge of foreign countries.
'In Europe, blue is often considered a royal colour, they even believe royals' blood is blue, so needless to say this species is highly popular in Europe,' they claim.
Even more questionable are the books on sale, promising to teach avid readers how to have an out-of-body experience in just 30 days.
But at just 22p a manual, it doesn't seem to much of a loss if it doesn't work.
Unusual: A host of books promise the reader they can learn how to have an out-of-body experience
Unlikely: It might seem far-fetched, but the books only cost about 22p, so are worth the outlay
Customised: This jar contains a custom made fart, but has to be consumed within 72 hours of opening
Famous snout: This nose is modelled on Jackie Chan's, and dispenses hand sanitiser - although the green colour may be optional
Then you get into the truly weird and wonderful.
This jar of farts is offered by someone who will create, contain and send you a custom-ordered fart in a jar for £10.85.
He'll brew anything, from pineapple and banana to apple farts, although no date-flavoured ones as he hates dates.
There is currently a 'buy two, get one jar of sweet potato fart free' deal running and the seller says: 'Warning: Needs to be inhaled within 72 hours of opening.'
If that is not disgusting enough, there is this nose - modelled on that of Hong Kong's most famous film star, Jackie Chan - which oozes hand-sanitiser for just £1.40.
'You can tell instantly whose nose it is,' the sales description boasts, adding: 'Do you have the courage to disgust yourself? You can make your wife laugh, make your husband laugh, make your lover laugh, and make you laugh.
'Use baby oil to massage it from time to time.'
But arguably the most disgusting things on offer on Taobao since it banned placentas going on sale are these breast milk soaps.
Admittedly, some sellers have been banned from the site, but these Hello Kitty-shaped bars are still available, going here for £1.55 a bar.
The description, written as if the seller were the baby the milk was intended for, reads: 'My name is Rong Rong, I'm seven months old.
'We still couldn't balance the supply and demand [of breast milk]. My mum had to freeze a lot of her milk in the fridge, that's why mummy turned some into the so-called most luxurious soap of all time: breast milk soap.
'We welcome uncles and aunts to come and pick!'
Disgusting: These innocent-looking Hello Kitty soaps are actually made from breast milk
Wee cups: Little ones caught short can use these special pots to pee into, available for boys and girls
Then there are the more practical considerations: this wee container, for example.
The brightly-coloured, elephant-themed cups are available for both boys and girls at just £2.10 each.
And it seems there are a hit.
One user wrote: 'My baby loves it, ever since I told him this is for peeing, he's been wanting to pee all the time.'
Taobao doesn't just offer amusing receptacles for outside the home, however: these children's urinals are also available, on sale for £2.70.
Gaping: Urinals for the youngest members of the family are also on sale on Taobao
Beautiful: The product promises to leave your bottom smelling of peaches, selling for just £27.70
Beauty products are also popular on Taobao, with items such as snail mucus cream from South Korea gaining huge popularity.
This 'peach a** cream', £27.70 from Japan, promises customers their bottoms 'will smell like peaches after use'.
Taobao is a goldmine for those looking to update their wardrobe as well.
This giant hat, which was still under construction, was available for a negotiated price, and a deposit of £32.60.
Huge: Exactly why one designer decided a giant hat was what the world needed remains unclear
Angelic: The wings are said to be based on the ones worn by Victoria's Secret models
Meanwhile, these wings - on sale for just £55 - were supposedly inspired by Victoria's Secret models, allowing people to have their own catwalk moment.
Then there are the accessories on sale for smartphone-obsessed China, with one of the latest offerings being this £7.05 hand warmer, designed to keep your digits toasty while allowing you to remain glued to your phone.
Toasty: This item is designed to keep your hands warm while you text or play games on your mobile
Terrifying: This £15 mask is one of the hand-made items on sale - but it is unclear who the buyer would be
And finally, there is this terrifying mask, one of the many hand-made items on sale.
But it seems even the owner holds out little hope of selling the £15 item.
'I don't think my dog looks at me the same way again after I put it on,' wrote the maker.
