珍惜生命, 远离U. Waterloo(CS高才生自杀)

[ert0000]

3/21/2017 一个U. Waterloo (CS高才生自杀), 震惊家长,朋友和同学,
死者的弟弟在网上悼念,引发Waterloo U学生集体回音, 引发Waterloo U 和即将上大学的高中生的大地震.

https://www.reddit.com/r/uwaterloo/comments/60qoni/im_the_brother_of_the_student_who_committed/

"I'm the brother of the student who committed suicide yesterday morning."

It doesn't feel real to type that title. None of this feels real yet. He was, as many of you are, a brilliant mind. To those who will say that UW doesn't isolate their students, I'd like to tell you that you're kidding yourself. My brother is the second person to die like this in this year alone at his residence. Waterloo hasn't called my family. We have no support from the school in this. I don't want to see the look on my father's face when he begs me not to leave him. I don't know who any of you are, and none of you know who I am, but please fucking know that you can go home whenever you want. It's just school. It's just a fucking grade. You're worth more than a fucking job or a degree. Chase was in the co-op program and the idea of moving back and forth every 6 months must have scared the living hell out of him. The fact that my brother was reduced to a number and was mistreated by the entire structure of the Waterloo campus is sickening. I read through the article published on uwimprint.com and the only words I could say were "fuck you". They say they offer their deepest sympathies when they never even gave us the courtesy of a phone call. My brother is dead because of the school and system that has become accepted. My brother is gone and I'll never be able to tell him I love him ever again.

I'm 16 years old and will soon be deciding on where I'd like to go for school. I'm so hurt, I'm in so much pain. I need help. I need to know that you guys will be okay. I need you to know that you have a family and a home. School is not everything. Do me a favour and go home as soon as possible and hug your parents. They don't deserve this and neither do you. If you're ever homesick and feel so lonely you can't bear it then just fucking transfer schools to be closer to your family.

Just please let my family be an example of the cowardice and the borderline criminality of the system we're all a part of. If you're attending the University of Waterloo next year or have an open invitation, please decline it or seriously consider another alternative.

Save a life and be there for your roommate, your friend, and your family.

To those wondering we were notified by police and detectives. I will no longer be responding to messages immediately because I need to be with my family. Thank you all for your continued love and support. Hug the people you love. I'm aware this information will be picked up by a newspaper or some form of student thing, but just please keep in mind that I never want anyone to feel like they're unable to just leave school. This isn't supposed to happen.

Hi guys. It's been almost 4 days since Monday, and I have a great sense of enlightenment through you all and your responses. I was incredibly emotional when I wrote the original post and I regret none of what I said, but my focus is now on ensuring that this doesn't happen again. Not like this. We need to not live in the past and step forward and make differences. I'm not going to wait for the University to step up, I'm only going to extend my hand to those who are grieving and offer my help. We all need each other. No speech, no interview, no statement can say that enough. Thank you all. Spread love.

 

[ert0000]

hey OP, just wanted to share with you: this news was brought up in one of my lectures and the professor ended up metnioning that your brother was one of the professor's student; I reached out to the professor later because she looked like she was about to break down. The professor told me that she cried when she heard the news right before the lecture and was considering not showing up to my lecture. She was worried when your brother didn't show up to the lecture yesterday for a group presentation, because your brother worked on it really hard. She was putting so much guilt on herself thinking she might have been one of the contributors to your brother's death, and even asked my class if the group project was too much pressure. She does care about her students, and cared for your brother just as much because he was a hard-working, bright student. I have sincerely felt that she mourns for your brother's death. I told her that it's mostly likely not her fault, that it's probably this university and the unnecessarily challenging environment there is, on top of the extremely anti-social atmosphere CS has. I'm not trying to defend her because I don't know your brother and therefore I don't know how much pressure her course load has actually put on your brother, but what I want you to know is that there are staff who care. It may be a small number and it wasn't one of your brother's mandatory course's staff, but there are people in this university that do sincerely care for others around them. There obviously is not enough, and from the deepest parts - from the bottom of my heart I hope that your brother's tragedy does not become meaningless; the least this university can do (was to reach out to your family and at least offer a word, which they haven't. I personally think you are right on that the university should have done something) is to learn that there are more problems then they think there are and should work to keep the peace of not only its own students, but the families and the other loved ones of the students as well. You have our (my professor and I) sincere condolences, stay strong young man.

 

[ert0000]

Like I said, the university will not contact family until the time is right. They become secondary since the police are the primary group dealing with this right now. They are the first to inform family. Why can't people understand that? It's only been 2 days and people are fucking raising up their pitchforks. OP is clearly distraught but instead of being voices of reason, many of you are joining in the hatewagon.

As for the university, sure addressing mental health problems is an issue everywhere. You can only do so much especially with programs that are simply and historically hard. They do a good job reminding you of available help. The acceleration of sharing of resources, available help, he'll even if you don't use on campus resources there are so many places to go. But if you're like me or so many others who have these mental health problems, most of us don't want to seek help. You clearly never had it because you wouldn't be telling me this. I cannot help someone who is suicidal if they never revealed they are in the first place. This is the issue. It's hard to get into people's thoughts when they themselves don't reveal it. Many people here do not understand that and that's what makes me angry at how uninsightful many of these posts are. It's jumping to stupid fucking conclusions and getting us no where at all.

As someone with mental health issues and have had it for a very long time...As someone who experienced dealing with people I know who have committed suicide with the worst one being my friend this past January....As someone who had to be there with her parents and trying to explain to them that we just don't know.....I am not spilling bullshit when I tell you I know the pain and the frustration and the worry. Pointing the finger at the institution because of a problem you think they could have changed is not going to change anything. I wish more people understood this.

 

[ert0000]

I knew Chase personally, in fact we were supposed to meet up this Thursday to discuss about our Journal for next week's SPCOM100 class... I knew about the incident but I didn't know of the identity, I can't imagine how shocked and saddening it must be for you as part of his family when I am already feeling like a mess. I am so sorry for your loss, my deep condolences goes to you and your whole family... Chase is one of the brightest guy I met in UW, he aced his advanced CS and math classes. He even helped me on one of my CS assignments during one of our meetings. I can still remember the sarcastic jokes he made during our meetings... When we were discussing topics about conflicts and communication (for the course journals), he did mention a few bits about him moving a lot during his secondary and high school, which resulted him not really making any close-close friends, but he said he still kept in touch with them. Still, I don't think that was anything major since I myself experienced a lot of moving and changing friends... I have also experienced a family death, my father died when I was 13, and at that time, whenever my 1-year-old brother screams and cry it just reminds me more of a missing member of my family... Sometimes I wish I could turn back time, or at least see into the future... Even if it couldn't be changed, I wish I could've at least said something to my dad, and to Chase. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and all I can do now is to wish for you to stay strong. This may sound cheesy but it was my father's favourite phrase: May the force be with you.

 

[ert0000]

Hey OP, I just wanted to let you know I know exactly where your head is right now. In 2008 My older brother shot himself in the head. When I heard the news I was physically sick. I know how surreal it all seems. The next few months will seem like you are living them from a distance, and the next few years wont be much better. Most likely you will begin to question everything in your life. If I can offer you any advice it would be this; never give up on your own life, there is always something worth living for. Live how your brother would want you to live. Rediscover your passions and push yourself to discover new ones. Abandon anything or anyone that doesn't make you happy. Change things up, travel, try new things, meet new people and don't stop till you find a path worth walking. Its been 9 years since I lost my brother, I think about him every day and still shed tears occasionally. I spent years running from what happened, I over indulged in drugs and women, but eventually I came back to the things that truly make me happy, skateboarding, snowboarding, camping, hunting, and business. Being broken down by the loss of my brother forced me to rebuild and reinvent myself to be rock solid. I find strength knowing that I will never hurt like I did from that. Keep your head up kid, and live a life you'll be happy to tell your brother about when you see him on the other side. Good luck my friend. PM me if you want someone to talk to about it. You are not alone.

 

[ert0000]

EmilyAkira 15 points 7 days ago

In 2015 during my third coop term, a 20ish years old me was never expecting to hear something like "I can go to your home and take care of your sexual needs" from my colleague, who is the same age as my dad. I was so scared and helpless, so I asked help from the school. There was only one month left until the end of the term, I remember we can do 12-16 weeks of coop, so I asked if I could leave that place with coop credit granted, guess what they say? "The right step for you to take is to get help from school counselling services." They said this policy is for students to have one extra month of job hunting, but you can't terminate before the end of the term. It was either quitting the job with no credit or keeping working there, the only thing the school promised me was that this guy would never talk to me anymore. Basically they meant "there is nothing much we can help you, if you are still not ok, go get help from the counselling yourself." I also talked to the CECA harassment specialist, she even said actually there's a lot of cases of students being harassed, I was not the only one, and other students just continued working. I couldn't, so I quit. This company is still hiring, I can see their posts in Jobmine/Waterlooworks. The school system needs too many improvement, every employee's goal is to protect students, this responsibility is not for counselling services only!

 

[月下独酌]

这点小事儿就受不了就去送死

Natural Selection process. Nothing to see here, moving on.

 

[玉儿]

真不明白读不下去就不读了呗，有勇气死咋没勇气活涅？

 

[cvictor]

拿破仑是在滑铁卢被干掉了

 

[New Person]

不知道这个弟弟在抱怨什么，学校没有及时打电话通知家里，还是4个月一次搬家的CO－OP？ 不论怎样，加拿大青少年中有心理问题的比例很高，家长，同学都应关注。

 

[uglyducking]

原来谣言都是真的

 

[deepthroat]

我没看懂，这家人抱怨傻? 学校怎么亏待逝者了?

 

[冷笑9声]

原来谣言都是真的

太长没看，不是华裔吧？估计是被亚裔虐死的白左白右？

 

[没有网名]

真看不出WaterlooU有什么地方做的不对或不够。

 

[uglyducking]

太长没看，不是华裔吧？估计是被亚裔虐死的白左白右？

too long no see. no idea.