Response
Hi,
I had a miscarriage last summer myself, so I guess I have the right answers for you. Doctors in North America don't seem to like the idea of trying TOO HARD to keep the babies before you pass the end of first trimester (end of week 12). They believe if you have a miscarriage, then it's because the baby is somehow not perfect (most likely genetically) and even if they give you medicine to TRY to keep it, chances are more health issues will occur later on. You might lose the baby further down the road before you actually deliver the baby, or you might give birth to a baby that's seriously deformed. You might even find out there is something wrong with the baby later when you have an ultrasound at week 17-20 - and still end up with having have to abort the baby because his or her heart/lungs/liver or any major organ is not working perfectly.
A bit of spotting, or any amount of bleeding is NOT normal, but it IS common, and your doctor is right, 30% of pregnancy ends up in miscarriage. HOWEVER, even with spotting - half of the pregnant women still get to deliver a healthy baby at the end of the day! Most accurate method is to get your HCG level tested and see if it's at normal level.
My first baby ended up in miscarriage last summer as well. And your doctor is also right that testing positive on a home pregnancy test means you are STILL pregnant, but it doesn't mean the pregnancy will continue. Normal HCG level for a few week pregnant woman is a few thousand, but home pregnancy test can detect HCG level at only 5 unit. Even right after my miscarriage, my HCG was at 700 - and any home pregnancy test would test it as positive because it was still more than 5. I had that miscarriage after I experienced more and more spotting.
My suggestion is, go with what your doctor said, and NOT try to forcefully keep a very possibly deformed fetus - an unhealthy baby will not only present challenges for the parents - but also for the baby her or himself. You will have chance to have another child. I am now pregnant again, now 8 months pregnant.
Wish you luck.