windflower
四大饿人之--月里常饿
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- 2002-06-11
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Let's criticize them together 
(Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50?
(A) Nudity.
_________________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a
wife?
(A) 45 lbs.
____________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
husband?
(A) 45 minutes.
_____________________________
(Q) How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
(A) None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
_____________________________________
(Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
(A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
______________________________________
(Q) Why are men and parking spaces alike?
(A) Because all the good ones are taken and the only
ones left are disabled.
_________________________________________
(Q) Why do men want to marry virgins?
(A) They can't stand criticism.
______________________________________
(Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good looking?
(A) Because those men already have boyfriends.
__________________________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
(A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
_________________________
(Q)! What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
(A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
_________________________
(Q) What do you call a smart blonde?
(A) A golden retriever.
________________________________________________
(Q) Why does the bride always wear white?
(A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove
and refrigerator.
___________________________________________
(Q) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third
grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
(A) The blonde, because she's 18.
_________________________
(Q) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
(A) Ask your Mom.
_________________________
(Q) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
(A) Because they have cotton balls.
_________________________________________________
(Q) What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?
(A) Are you sure it's mine?"
________________________________________________
(Q) Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
(A) Mace will do that to you.
_____________________________________________
(Q) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
(A) Everyone has the same DNA.
____________________________________
(Q) What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
shorter than the other?
(A) A speech impediment.
__________________________________
(Q) Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
(A) Breasts don't have eyes.
_________________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a Southern zoo,and a
Northern zoo
(A) A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the
front of the cage, along with a recipe.
____________________________
(Q) What's the Cuban National Anthem?
(A) Row row row your boat.
______________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and
a Southern fairy tale?
(A) A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A
Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this
shi#."
(Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50?
(A) Nudity.
_________________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a
wife?
(A) 45 lbs.
____________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
husband?
(A) 45 minutes.
_____________________________
(Q) How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
(A) None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
_____________________________________
(Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
(A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
______________________________________
(Q) Why are men and parking spaces alike?
(A) Because all the good ones are taken and the only
ones left are disabled.
_________________________________________
(Q) Why do men want to marry virgins?
(A) They can't stand criticism.
______________________________________
(Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good looking?
(A) Because those men already have boyfriends.
__________________________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
(A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
_________________________
(Q)! What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
(A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
_________________________
(Q) What do you call a smart blonde?
(A) A golden retriever.
________________________________________________
(Q) Why does the bride always wear white?
(A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove
and refrigerator.
___________________________________________
(Q) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third
grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
(A) The blonde, because she's 18.
_________________________
(Q) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
(A) Ask your Mom.
_________________________
(Q) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
(A) Because they have cotton balls.
_________________________________________________
(Q) What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?
(A) Are you sure it's mine?"
________________________________________________
(Q) Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
(A) Mace will do that to you.
_____________________________________________
(Q) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
(A) Everyone has the same DNA.
____________________________________
(Q) What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
shorter than the other?
(A) A speech impediment.
__________________________________
(Q) Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
(A) Breasts don't have eyes.
_________________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a Southern zoo,and a
Northern zoo
(A) A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the
front of the cage, along with a recipe.
____________________________
(Q) What's the Cuban National Anthem?
(A) Row row row your boat.
______________________________
(Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and
a Southern fairy tale?
(A) A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A
Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this
shi#."
:blink: :blink:
