汉语四六级考试（爆笑，必看）

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一、 听力（每题一分）

１、 甲：今天公共汽车上人多么？

乙：还行，第一站上来３个，下去５个；第二站上来７个，下去１２个；第三站上来４５个 下去２３个；第四站上来１８个，下去１２个；第五站上来９个，下去８个。

问：乙共坐了几站？

Ａ．５　 Ｂ．８２　Ｃ．６０????

（答案：Ａ）　


２、 甲：您吃了么？

乙：没呢。

问：这段对话最可能发生在那儿？

Ａ．厕所　Ｂ．澡堂子　Ｃ．胡同口儿????????????????????????　
????????????　
（答案：Ｃ，有答Ｂ者加半分，发现答Ａ者即刻拖出考场）

３、 甲：作业怎么还不交？

乙：我没带。

甲：你长脑子了么？你怎么忘不了吃饭呀？你弱智吧你？

问：甲的身份是什么

Ａ．神经病　 Ｂ．老师　 Ｃ．流氓

（答案：Ｂ，有答Ｃ者加半分）
????????

４、 甲：你怎么还没到？

乙：堵车堵得我头都晕了。

甲：快点儿，再不来大嘴巴抽你。

问：乙为什么没到？

Ａ．头晕　 Ｂ．堵车　 Ｃ．怕甲大嘴巴抽他

（答案：Ｂ，发现答Ｃ者就大嘴巴抽他）


二、 阅读理解（每题二分）

中国有一种植物叫葳蕤。从前有个人叫蔺芈。他想用一张临子去捕一只鸩。不小心被葳蕤绊了一个跟头。他很踯蹰该不该再去捉。忽然他发现了一根扃，于是便用扃去打鸩，可是鸩飞走了。蔺芈气愤地说：“：再抓到你就把你做成俎醢！”虽然恨，但此时却没办法。于是蔺芈只好采了几根葳蕤回家了。

１、 葳蕤为什么要绊蔺芈？

Ａ．葳蕤招讨厌　 Ｂ．蔺芈犯贱　Ｃ．这是自然规律　 Ｄ．以上皆错
　

２、“临子”是什么意思？
????
Ａ．网　 Ｂ．席子　Ｃ．布????Ｄ．绳子
　
３、蔺芈为什么要捉鸩？

Ａ．蔺芈爱上了鸩　 Ｂ．蔺芈讨厌鸩　Ｃ．上天的安排　 Ｄ．题目中没有给出
????
４、蔺芈为什么带葳蕤回去？

Ａ．回家报复它　 Ｂ．养起来　Ｃ．蔺芈爱上了葳蕤　 Ｄ．以上都对
　

５、 请你给本文加一个合适的题目：

Ａ．傻＊蔺芈????Ｂ．鸩的故事　Ｃ．草本植物葳蕤????Ｄ．蔺芈传奇

（以上五题答案由判卷老师自行决定，第五题答Ａ者加四分）


三、 词汇与结构（每题０．５分）

１、 小王抽（　）小李一个嘴巴。

Ａ．了　 Ｂ．到　 Ｃ．着　 Ｄ．上

２、 解放军（　）守在边关。

Ａ．戊　 Ｂ．戌　 Ｃ．戍　 Ｄ．戒

３、 用荣誉去（　）他。

Ａ．?　 Ｂ．勖　 Ｃ．砉　 Ｄ。?

４、 和“歇菜”意思最相近的词语是：

Ａ．雄起　 Ｂ．完菜　 Ｃ．点菜　Ｄ．玩完

５、（ ）打了我一巴掌。
????
Ａ．尔　 Ｂ．汝　Ｃ．你　 Ｄ．彼

５、 你在干嘛（ ）？

Ａ．呢　 Ｂ．呀　 Ｃ．哟　 Ｄ．乎

（以上五题答案由判卷老师自行决定。作第二题时容易发生考生晕倒 现象特提请考场管理人员提前做好抢救工作；第四题发现答Ａ者即刻拖出考场。）


四、 完形填空（每题０．５分）
????
１、床前（　）光，　 A．台灯　 B．秃头　 C．明月　 D．没有

２、疑是地上（ ）。　 Ａ．筐　Ｂ．霜　 Ｃ．赃　 Ｄ．缸

３、举头（ ）明月，　Ａ．望　 Ｂ．看　Ｃ．瞧　 Ｄ．瞅

４、低头思（　）。????Ａ．成双　Ｂ．姑娘　 Ｃ．故乡　 Ｄ．尿床

（以上五题答案由判卷老师自行决定。第四题发现答Ｂ者立刻送交公安部门处理。）


五、 翻译句子（每题四分）

１、 你丫挺的要是再叫板老子就灭了你！

２、 多乎哉不多也多亦不多乎实乃少也。

（要求翻译准确无误，第一题如译句中出现ｓｈｉｔ、ｆｕｃｋ等词可酌情加一至二分。）


六、 写作（１５分）

以“汉语四、六级真好”为题写一篇作文。要求包括：

１、 汉语四、六级真好

２、 汉语四、六级怎么就那么好

３、 汉语四、六级实在是好

字数不得少于一百字。

（要求考生作文一定要突出汉语四、六级的好处，有用诗歌形式文章可酌情加一至二分。）

 

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[xiaorui]

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经典....但是有点小白痴的感觉!和你一样.....真的是物似主人形啊\对吧.......XIAO RUI RUI!

 

[xiaorui]

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[xiaorui]

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................顶:::::::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
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..........................顶顶:顶::顶顶:::::::;:;顶
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............................顶顶顶顶.顶顶::::顶:顶:顶顶
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...................................顶顶::::顶顶
....................................顶顶

 

[Q-idiot]

8888888888888888888888888888
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........88....顶顶::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶
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................顶:::::::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
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.....................顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶:顶
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...........................顶顶:::::::::顶顶
...........................顶顶顶::::::::顶顶
...........................顶顶顶::::::::顶顶
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............................顶顶顶::::::顶顶
............................顶顶顶::::::顶顶
.............................顶顶::::::顶顶
.............................顶顶::::::顶顶
..............................顶顶:::::顶顶
..............................顶顶:::::顶顶:
..............................顶顶:::::顶:顶
..............................顶顶:::::顶:顶
..............................:顶::::::顶:
.............................顶:顶:::::::顶
............................顶:::顶::::::顶
...........................顶::::顶::::::顶
..........................顶:::::顶:::::::顶
.........................顶::::::顶顶:::::::顶
.........................顶:::::::顶::::::::顶
.........................顶;:;::::顶:::::::::顶
.........................顶:顶:;:::顶::::::::::顶
.........................顶顶:顶:顶::顶::::::::;:顶
..........................顶顶:顶::顶顶:::::::;:;顶
...........................顶顶::顶顶顶::::::;:顶:顶
............................顶顶顶顶.顶顶::::顶:顶:顶顶
..................................顶顶::::顶:顶顶
...................................顶顶::::顶顶

 

[pink]

8888888888888888888888888888
............88::::::::888:::8888888888888888888888888
..........88888888::::8:::::::::::88888888888888888888
........888.8::888888::::::::::::::::::88888888888...888
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8888888888:::::8:::::::::顶88888:::::::::顶顶888!888888888888888888
888888888:::::8:::::::::顶8888888顶A顶顶顶A顶V顶顶888*88888888...88888888
888888.顶:::::::::::::::顶888888888:::::::顶顶88888888888888...8888888
8888...顶::::::::::::::顶88888888888::::::顶顶888888888888888....88888
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.......8顶:::::::8888顶:::::888:::::::88:::8888888::::::::顶顶....2
......88顶顶:::::8888顶:::::::88::::::::8:::::888888:::顶:::::顶
.....8888顶:::::888顶顶::::::::8:::::::::::顶::::8888::::顶::::顶
....88888顶:::::88:顶::::::::::8:::::::::::顶:::8888::::::顶::顶
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....8888...顶顶::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::88@@
.....888....顶:::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶::::::::::::::::*8
.....888....顶顶:::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::::::顶顶:::顶顶:::::::::::::::顶
......88.....顶::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::顶顶::::::::::::顶顶
.......88....顶顶:::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::顶顶顶::::::::顶顶顶
........88....顶顶::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶
.........88...8顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶
..........8...88顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶:::顶::::::::顶顶
..............888顶顶::::::::::::::::::顶顶::::::顶顶::::::顶顶
.............88888顶顶:::::::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::顶顶:::::顶顶
.............888888顶顶:::::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::::顶顶顶:::顶
............88888888顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶:::顶
...........88.8888888顶:::::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::::顶:::顶
...........8..888888.顶:::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::顶:::顶:
..............888888.顶::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::顶:::顶顶
.............888888..顶:::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::::顶:顶
.............888888..顶:::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶
.............88888...顶:::::::::::::@:::::::::::::::顶::顶
............88888...顶:::::::::::::@@::::::::::::::::顶::顶
...........88888...顶::::::::::::::@::::::::::::::::::顶::顶
..........88888...顶:::::顶:::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::顶:::顶
..........8888...顶:::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::顶:::顶
.........8888...顶:::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶::::::::顶:::顶
........888....顶:::::顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::::顶::::顶
......8888....顶顶::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::::::顶::顶:::顶
.....888......顶:::::顶::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::顶::顶顶:::顶
..8888.......顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶:::顶:
.............顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶:::::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶:::顶顶
............顶顶::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶顶:::顶顶
............顶::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶:::顶顶
...........顶顶:::::::::顶:::::::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶:顶:::顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::顶88:::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶顶
...........顶::::::::::::8支持精品88顶::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::88反对88顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶顶
...........顶::::::::::::::88收88顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::::8费8顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶:顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::::::88顶::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
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................顶:::::::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
................顶顶:::::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
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.....................顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶:顶
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.........................顶::::::顶顶:::::::顶
.........................顶:::::::顶::::::::顶
.........................顶;:;::::顶:::::::::顶
.........................顶:顶:;:::顶::::::::::顶
.........................顶顶:顶:顶::顶::::::::;:顶
..........................顶顶:顶::顶顶:::::::;:;顶
...........................顶顶::顶顶顶::::::;:顶:顶
............................顶顶顶顶.顶顶::::顶:顶:顶顶
..................................顶顶::::顶:顶顶
...................................顶顶::::顶顶

 

[红樱桃]

haha

 

[pink]

............8888::::::8888888888888888888888888888
............88::::::::888:::8888888888888888888888888
..........88888888::::8:::::::::::88888888888888888888
........888.8::888888::::::::::::::::::88888888888...888
...........88::::88888888::::顶::::::::::88888888888....8
.........888888888888888888:顶:::::::::::8888888888888
........88888888888888888888::::::::::::顶88888888888888
........8888888888888888888888:::::::::顶8888888888888888
.........8888888888888888888888:::::::顶888888888888888888
........8888888888888888::88888::::::顶88888888888888888888
......88888888888888888:::88888:::::顶888888888888888...8888
.....88888888888888888:::88888::::顶::;o*顶*o;88888.8888....88
....88888888888888888:::8888:::::顶:::::::::::88888888....8
...88888888888888888::::88::::::顶:;:::::::::::888888888
..8888888888888888888:::8::::::顶::aAa::::::::顶8888888888.......8
..88...8888888888::88::::8::::顶:::::::::::::888888888888888.8888
.88..88888888888:::8:::::::::顶::::::::::;::88:88888888888888888
.8..8888888888888:::::::::::顶::"@@@@@@@"::::8w8888888888888888
..88888888888:888::::::::::顶:::::"@a@":::::顶8i888888888888888
.8888888888::::88:::::::::顶88:::::::::::::顶88z88888888888888888
8888888888:::::8:::::::::顶88888:::::::::顶顶888!888888888888888888
888888888:::::8:::::::::顶8888888顶A顶顶顶A顶V顶顶888*88888888...88888888
888888.顶:::::::::::::::顶888888888:::::::顶顶88888888888888...8888888
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.888...顶:::::::::::::顶8888888888888顶:::::顶顶888888888888888....8888
..888..顶::::::::::::顶8888:888888888888::::顶::顶顶88888.888888...8888
...88..顶::::::::::::8888:88888888888888888::::::顶顶8...88888...888
...88..顶::::::::::8888顶::88888::888888888888:::::::顶顶88888....88
...8...顶顶::::::::8888顶:::8888:::::888888888888::::::::顶顶8.....4
.......8顶:::::::8888顶:::::888:::::::88:::8888888::::::::顶顶....2
......88顶顶:::::8888顶:::::::88::::::::8:::::888888:::顶:::::顶
.....8888顶:::::888顶顶::::::::8:::::::::::顶::::8888::::顶::::顶
....88888顶:::::88:顶::::::::::8:::::::::::顶:::8888::::::顶::顶
...88.888顶顶:::888:顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶:8888:::::::::顶:
...8.88888顶:::88::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:88::::::::::::顶
.....88888顶:::88::顶::::::::::*88*::::::::::顶:88::::::::::::::顶
....888888顶:::88::顶:::::::::88@@88:::::::::顶::88::::::::::::::顶
....888888顶顶::88::顶顶::::::::88@@88:::::::::顶:::8::::::::::::::*8
....88888..顶:::8::顶顶:::::::::*88*::::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::88@@
....8888...顶顶::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::88@@
.....888....顶:::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶::::::::::::::::*8
.....888....顶顶:::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::::::顶顶:::顶顶:::::::::::::::顶
......88.....顶::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::顶顶::::::::::::顶顶
.......88....顶顶:::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::顶顶顶::::::::顶顶顶
........88....顶顶::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶
.........88...8顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶
..........8...88顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶:::顶::::::::顶顶
..............888顶顶::::::::::::::::::顶顶::::::顶顶::::::顶顶
.............88888顶顶:::::::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::顶顶:::::顶顶
.............888888顶顶:::::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::::顶顶顶:::顶
............88888888顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶:::顶
...........88.8888888顶:::::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::::顶:::顶
...........8..888888.顶:::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::顶:::顶:
..............888888.顶::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::顶:::顶顶
.............888888..顶:::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::::顶:顶
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............88888...顶:::::::::::::@@::::::::::::::::顶::顶
...........88888...顶::::::::::::::@::::::::::::::::::顶::顶
..........88888...顶:::::顶:::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::顶:::顶
..........8888...顶:::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::顶:::顶
.........8888...顶:::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶::::::::顶:::顶
........888....顶:::::顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶:::::::::顶::::顶
......8888....顶顶::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::::::顶::顶:::顶
.....888......顶:::::顶::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::顶::顶顶:::顶
..8888.......顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶:::顶:
.............顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶:::::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶:::顶顶
............顶顶::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶顶:::顶顶
............顶::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶:::顶顶
...........顶顶:::::::::顶:::::::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶:顶:::顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::顶88:::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶顶
...........顶::::::::::::8支持精品88顶::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::88反对88顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶顶
...........顶::::::::::::::88收88顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶::顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::::8费8顶:::::::::::::::::::::::::顶:顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::::::88顶::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
...........顶:::::::::::::::::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
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................顶:::::::::顶::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶
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.....................顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶:顶
.....................顶顶顶:::顶:::::::顶:顶:顶
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.......................顶顶顶:::::::::::::::顶:
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.........................顶::::::顶顶:::::::顶
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.........................顶;:;::::顶:::::::::顶
.........................顶:顶:;:::顶::::::::::顶
.........................顶顶:顶:顶::顶::::::::;:顶
..........................顶顶:顶::顶顶:::::::;:;顶
...........................顶顶::顶顶顶::::::;:顶:顶
............................顶顶顶顶.顶顶::::顶:顶:顶顶
..................................顶顶::::顶:顶顶
...................................顶顶::::顶顶
....................................顶顶:

 

[谁，又爱着谁？]

pink lady

 

[乐山乐水]

remind me of those tests...

 

[pink]

我顶,我顶,我顶顶!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[calculus]

............8888::::::8888888888888888888888888888
............88::::::::888:::8888888888888888888888888
..........88888888::::8:::::::::::88888888888888888888
........888.8::888888::::::::::::::::::88888888888...888
...........88::::88888888::::顶::::::::::88888888888....8
.........888888888888888888:顶:::::::::::8888888888888
........88888888888888888888::::::::::::顶88888888888888
........8888888888888888888888:::::::::顶8888888888888888
.........8888888888888888888888:::::::顶888888888888888888
........8888888888888888::88888::::::顶88888888888888888888
......88888888888888888:::88888:::::顶888888888888888...8888
.....88888888888888888:::88888::::顶::;o*顶*o;88888.8888....88
....88888888888888888:::8888:::::顶:::::::::::88888888....8
...88888888888888888::::88::::::顶:;:::::::::::888888888
..8888888888888888888:::8::::::顶::::::::::::顶8888888888.......8
..88...8888888888::88::::8::::顶:::aAa::::::888888888888888.8888
.88..88888888888:::8:::::::::顶::::::::::;::88:88888888888888888
.8..8888888888888:::::::::::顶::"@@@@@@@"::::8w8888888888888888
..88888888888:888::::::::::顶:::::"@a@":::::顶8i888888888888888
.8888888888::::88:::::::::顶88:::::::::::::顶88z88888888888888888
8888888888:::::8:::::::::顶88888:::::::::顶顶888!888888888888888888
888888888:::::8:::::::::顶8888888顶A顶顶顶A顶V顶顶888*88888888...88888888
888888.顶:::::::::::::::顶888888888:::::::顶顶88888888888888...8888888
8888...顶::::::::::::::顶88888888888::::::顶顶888888888888888....88888
.888...顶:::::::::::::顶8888888888888顶:::::顶顶888888888888888....8888
..888..顶::::::::::::顶8888:888888888888::::顶::顶顶88888.888888...8888
...88..顶::::::::::::8888:88888888888888888::::::顶顶8...88888...888
...88..顶::::::::::8888顶::88888::888888888888:::::::顶顶88888....88
...8...顶顶::::::::8888顶:::8888:::::888888888888::::::::顶顶8.....4
.......8顶:::::::8888顶:::::888:::::::88:::8888888::::::::顶顶....2
......88顶顶:::::8888顶:::::::88::::::::8:::::888888:::顶:::::顶
.....8888顶:::::888顶顶::::::::8:::::::::::顶::::8888::::顶::::顶
....88888顶:::::88:顶::::::::::8:::::::::::顶:::8888::::::顶::顶
...88.888顶顶:::888:顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶:8888:::::::::顶:
...8.88888顶:::88::顶:::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:88::::::::::::顶
.....88888顶:::88::顶::::::::::*88*::::::::::顶:88::::::::::::::顶
....888888顶:::88::顶:::::::::88@@88:::::::::顶::88::::::::::::::顶
....888888顶顶::88::顶顶::::::::88@@88:::::::::顶:::8::::::::::::::*8
....88888..顶:::8::顶顶:::::::::*88*::::::::::顶:::::::::::::::::88@@
....8888...顶顶::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::88@@
.....888....顶:::::::顶顶:::::::::::::::::::顶顶::顶::::::::::::::::*8
.....888....顶顶:::::::顶顶顶::::::::::::::::顶顶:::顶顶:::::::::::::::顶
......88.....顶::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::::::::顶顶顶顶:::::顶顶::::::::::::顶顶
.......88....顶顶:::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::顶顶顶::::::::顶顶顶
........88....顶顶::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶
.........88...8顶顶::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::顶顶顶顶顶顶
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