I don't know what to do, please help

  • 主题发起人 主题发起人 Kat
  • 开始时间 开始时间

Kat

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sorry i cannot type Chinese by using this PC, since i dont' have Chinese system in this computer.

we've been together for over 5 years. He used to be good to me, when he's not in bad mood. i dunno whether i should leave my love if he just put u as his second or third priority, while his parents are his first priority. We live with his parents. Actually his parents come to canada to live with us for about six month every year. I can sense that his parents dont' like me, especially his mother. Everything shows on her face. Even i tried to treat her good, but she just disregard.

My love treats his parents sooo good! Especailly his mother, he is unbelievably good to his mother. For example, he hugs his mother almost every time he returns or leaves home, but he never hugs me (unless his parents are in China). They go out for shopping or others without asking me to go. The most unacceptable thing for me is that when they go out for their private family gathering, he lied to me and tried to hide everthing from me. WHen his parents go out themselves, they just left without saying a word to me (like 'goodbye'), while i tried to repect them all the time.

Sometiems they wanted to walk around the place we live after having dinner at home. But my love seldom asked me to go together. Yesterday, same thing happened again, they want to San Bu around after dinner, and i asked my love privately if i could go together. But he looked very reluctantly and at last he agreed.. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt me that much. But i was already hurt by reading the sign on his face. I did not go with them at the end

Now i feel that i'm just a Wai Ren to them. I'm not part of the family. I feel really sad. Especially his mother doesn't like me. And i strongly feel that his son is by her side. He used to say to me: if his mother and I happened to fight, it must be my fault.

sorry, i didnt' check my english grammer at all. maybe it's in a mess. Hopefully you could understand what i meant here. I am really too sad to continue now.

please let me know what i should do. i'm lost. but don't ask me to talk to my love privately about this issue. 'cause i tried already, but it didnt' work out. He did not even want to listen or talk about it. He thinks his parents are always rite.:(
 
I feel so sry for you after reading this story. I think that's their fault obsolutely. You lost the basic understanding with each other. First you should use compassion and understanding to them, and try to think about yourself, why they don't like you. If there's still nothing wrong with you, you got to think other solutions, like leaving them or sth else.
 
I don't want to poke my nose into your affairs
 
Sorry to hear your story.

Based on your story, it is hard to know whether you are married or not. Because you refer them as 'his parents' instead of 'parent-in-law'.

If you are married, I would sugguest you to invite him to join some marriage enrichment programs together. For example, 恩?夫?_I at http://www.cffc.ca/
 
最初由 Kat 发布
sorry i cannot type Chinese by using this PC, since i dont' have Chinese system in this computer.

we've been together for over 5 years. He used to be good to me, when he's not in bad mood. i dunno whether i should leave my love if he just put u as his second or third priority, while his parents are his first priority. We live with his parents. Actually his parents come to canada to live with us for about six month every year. I can sense that his parents dont' like me, especially his mother. Everything shows on her face. Even i tried to treat her good, but she just disregard.

My love treats his parents sooo good! Especailly his mother, he is unbelievably good to his mother. For example, he hugs his mother almost every time he returns or leaves home, but he never hugs me (unless his parents are in China). They go out for shopping or others without asking me to go. The most unacceptable thing for me is that when they go out for their private family gathering, he lied to me and tried to hide everthing from me. WHen his parents go out themselves, they just left without saying a word to me (like 'goodbye'), while i tried to repect them all the time.

Sometiems they wanted to walk around the place we live after having dinner at home. But my love seldom asked me to go together. Yesterday, same thing happened again, they want to San Bu around after dinner, and i asked my love privately if i could go together. But he looked very reluctantly and at last he agreed.. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt me that much. But i was already hurt by reading the sign on his face. I did not go with them at the end

Now i feel that i'm just a Wai Ren to them. I'm not part of the family. I feel really sad. Especially his mother doesn't like me. And i strongly feel that his son is by her side. He used to say to me: if his mother and I happened to fight, it must be my fault.

sorry, i didnt' check my english grammer at all. maybe it's in a mess. Hopefully you could understand what i meant here. I am really too sad to continue now.

please let me know what i should do. i'm lost. but don't ask me to talk to my love privately about this issue. 'cause i tried already, but it didnt' work out. He did not even want to listen or talk about it. He thinks his parents are always rite.:(

感觉你在家中比较被动。可以主动一些,比如主动孝敬婆婆。这是以进为守的方法。婆婆心里总怕儿子“娶了媳妇忘了娘”。

婆媳关系的处理是一个恒古难题,处理起来肯定不容易,呵呵。

孝子是个宝啊~~请楼主谨记在心。
 
ask your love:if you and his mom in the water,he only can save one,which one he will save?
 
最初由 500000 发布
ask your love:if you and his mom in the water,he only can save one,which one he will save?

This is the most stupid question ever to ask!
 
why not invite your parents to the family and stay there for 6 months, so he will know how you feel.
 
Re: Re: I don't know what to do, please help

最初由 假农民工 发布


感觉你在家中比较被动。可以主动一些,比如主动孝敬婆婆。这是以进为守的方法。婆婆心里总怕儿子“娶了媳妇忘了娘”。

婆媳关系的处理是一个恒古难题,处理起来肯定不容易,呵呵。

孝子是个宝啊~~请楼主谨记在心。

楼主已经说了她对他们家人很好, 但是还是没用.
 
不要总想在他妈面前他对你怎样,你争不过她妈的,也没必要
想想背着他妈,他对你怎样?如果也是不好,离开算了
 
想想你老公也难:当你的面要讨好你,当他妈的面要讨好他妈,真累。
难为他了
可见女人的狭隘和自私
 
最初由 PQPQ 发布
想想你老公也难:当你的面要讨好你,当他妈的面要讨好他妈,真累。
难为他了
可见女人的狭隘和自私

Can't YOU READ ENGLISH?
 
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