加拿大白人在孩子身上是否也有攀比心理？

[lujiabai86]

“书呆子”这个说法是从世俗的角度来讲的，就是因为中国不是“书呆子”的多了，社会适应能力太强了，大家才跑到异国他乡去谋发展。

记得村长在一个帖子里说过中国只培养“万般无用的书呆子”，广大村民到底该听谁的？

这个帖子本来是讨论白人的，没想到最终结论还是中国有问题。高，实在是高。

 

[八卦村]

看过《女人香》(英语：Scent of a Woman)的话就会知道贵族学校和名校的攀比是实实在在的。

 

[CCL]

我也觉得＂我们这儿＂最擅长培养书呆子了。能跑到这里并不代表不呆，好多书呆子在＂我们这儿＂混得远不如书读得一般多但实际能力强的人爽，出国也是一种逃避方式，就跟很多人读研读博不是真的多想专研点啥，只是因为找不着满意的工作所以躲在学校里。

 

[changjiang]

问这个问题是因为很多中国人出国的目的之一是为了孩子有一个好的环境，能够健康快乐的成长。如果在这儿也是存在攀比的话，那跟国内还不是一样？如果不希望孩子成为“书呆子”的话，在国内小孩也能健康快乐成长，吃的除外，政治教育除外。来到国外我看到亚裔跟白人（渥太华大学的本科课堂）几乎混不到一起，即使黑人也这样，几乎白人集中坐在一起，黑人一起，亚裔散散的坐着。这对孩子也是一种无声的压力。

电影里的生活太夸张了，《美国派》系列给学生带来很多的幻想。

 

[changjiang]

引用:




作者: changjiang

“书呆子”这个说法是从世俗的角度来讲的，就是因为中国不是“书呆子”的多了，社会适应能力太强了，大家才跑到异国他乡去谋发展。

记得村长在一个帖子里说过中国只培养“万般无用的书呆子”，广大村民到底该听谁的？

这个帖子本来是讨论白人的，没想到最终结论还是中国有问题。高，实在是高。


怎么会只培养万般无用的书呆子？你没看到大学的学生干部学生社团比党政机关还会玩？混社会这帮小干部们厉害多了。我对书呆子的定义是：不够圆滑或不够狡猾，只会认真做事的人。你要说书呆子动手能力不强，为什么欧美国家的导师极力的从中国招硕士生博士生呢？动手那点事，只要从事所学专业，花不了多少时间就能赶上。

 

[frank.Irvine]

changjiang

加拿大白人是否也在意孩子的成长？也希望自家的孩子要比邻家的好？

上个好大学？找个好工作？挣份好工资？还是养到18岁就不管了呢？最多资助读个大学？

其实，现在很多家长和 老培 380多年前的思维没啥太大差别，不是吗?!


<<Of Parents and Children>> - Francis Bacon

The joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears. They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other.
Children sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase the cares of life; but they mitigate the
remembrance of death. The perpetuity by generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are
proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which
have sought to express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies have failed. So the care of posterity is
most in them, that have no posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most indulgent towards their
children; beholding them as the continuance, not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.

The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy;
especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father, but an ungracious son shames the mother.
A man shall see, where there is a house full of children, one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made wantons;
but in the midst, some that are as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents,
in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with
mean company; and makes them surfeit more when they come to plenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men keep
their authority towards the children, but not heir purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and
servants) in creating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times sorteth to discord
when they are men, and disturbeth families.

The Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care
not though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much a like matter; insomuch that we
see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens. Let parents
choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let
them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as thinking they will take best to that, which they
have most mind to. It is true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it;
but generally the precept is good, optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo[1]. Younger brothers are commonly
fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherited.


[1] 选最佳的生活道路，习惯会使那条路走起来轻松愉快。

 

[简单简单]

手头富裕的白人家里也会有放养政策跟圈养方针的
不过他们手头不富裕的人不会跟我们同胞那样要硬撑送私校

 

[QQ2011]

我总觉得我们不如当地人会玩，玩的时候不如他们放得开。可能有的时候也和我们的消费观念有关。像我现在要给每个孩子买三个头盔（滑冰的，滑雪的，骑自行车的）就有点不舍得。可当地人，可能觉得这是必须的，认为理所当然的要去买。

其实我觉得现在国人，不管是在国内的还是在加拿大的，大多数家长或者全部家长都是希望孩子以后生活的快乐，可是我们不知道怎么让他们快乐，所以那就好好学习吧，比别人强，认为这样可能更容易获得快乐。

其实不管是哪个国家的人，甚至动物，爱孩子的心都是一样的。只是观念和方式不同。

 

[007leo]

记得村长在一个帖子里说过中国只培养“万般无用的书呆子”，广大村民到底该听谁的？



这个帖子本来是讨论白人的，没想到最终结论还是中国有问题。高，实在是高。

这要看人的. 真强的人不会成为书呆子. 我曾经和几个清华毕业的人共过事, 这帮人, 个顶个的学习好, 工作能力强, 而且和大家很能玩的来.