诗歌欣赏: I Love You

整首诗在这里:



当我散步在暮晚时分
W. H. 奥登

我在一个暮晚时分散步,
  行走在布里斯托尔大街上,
在行进的道路上拥挤不堪,
  收获的麦子成片堆放

我沿着满川的河水一路徜徉
  我听到一个相爱的人在歌唱
正在那铁路的拱桥上尽情歌唱:
  “爱没有尽头,爱如此漫长

我将爱你,亲爱的,我将爱你断肠,
  直到中国与非洲相碰撞,
河流爬上高高的山岗,
  直到鲑鱼爬到大街歌唱,


我将爱你直到海洋折腾,
  整个沧海上升枯干,
直到北斗星发出呼啸,
  就像天鹅在天空歌唱。


岁月像飞兔急驰,
  我盈握的手中
是那四季明艳的鲜花
  和这世界的初爱。”


但是全城所有的时钟
  开始发出声声警告:
“哦,不要让时间欺骗你们,
  你们无法战胜时光。

在恶梦般的洞穴里
  正在公义显身的地方,
时光从暗处将你端祥
  你亲吻时他会发出咳嗽


那巍巍雪线一泻千里潺潺
  进入那绿色的山谷长川;
时光打乱了美丽的舞蹈
  和潜水者的辉煌之弓。

哦,将你的手放进逝川,
  用你的手深入水浸入手腕边;
凝视、凝视水池清泉
  你会惊诧你多么失落悲伤。


冰河在碗橱下发出声响,
  沙漠在床下发出悲叹,
茶杯崩裂噼啪作响
  一条巷子通向死亡之乡

哦,看吧,在那镜子前观看,
  哦,发现你多么忧伤:
生命依然充满祝福和希望
  尽管你不能祝福

哦,站起来,站在窗前
  当眼泪滚烫溢荡;
你依然用欺骗的心肠
  爱着欺骗你的伙伴。”

此刻已经很晚,夜色已晚,
  那些相爱的人们已经四散;
时钟已经停止他们的鸣响,
  只有那深深的河流继续流淌。


As I Walked Out One Evening
W. H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.


'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.
 
来个诗经体凑数:

心悦君兮
与君为誓
天涯咫尺
江河倒流
鱼鸣街市
乃与君辞

心爱君兮
与君成说
湖海叠错
七星如雁
鸣噪而过
乃与君阔

:cool::cool::cool:
How about deleting the last sentence from each paragraph?
 
:cool::cool::cool:
How about deleting the last sentence from each paragraph?

最后那句是我给蛇添的脚,原因有三:
1)没有那句,till的意思不好表达出来;
2)凑成双数句,效颦诗经的格式。
3)套用“上邪......乃敢与君绝”的调调,把山盟海誓搞得更完整一些才好骗人。
:blowzy::p:D
 
来个诗经体凑数:

心悦君兮
与君为誓
天涯咫尺
江河倒流
鱼鸣街市
乃与君辞

心爱君兮
与君成说
湖海叠错
七星如雁
鸣噪而过
乃与君阔

原创,非代笔!:cool:

:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
来个诗经体凑数:

心悦君兮
与君为誓
天涯咫尺
江河倒流
鱼鸣街市
乃与君辞

心爱君兮
与君成说
湖海叠错
七星如雁
鸣噪而过
乃与君阔

wow:cool:
这个版本比那个按原文字句翻印的中文翻译版本,强了10000倍也不止啊
 
整首诗在这里:



当我散步在暮晚时分
W. H. 奥登

我在一个暮晚时分散步,
  行走在布里斯托尔大街上,
在行进的道路上拥挤不堪,
  收获的麦子成片堆放

我沿着满川的河水一路徜徉
  我听到一个相爱的人在歌唱
正在那铁路的拱桥上尽情歌唱:
  “爱没有尽头,爱如此漫长

我将爱你,亲爱的,我将爱你断肠,
  直到中国与非洲相碰撞,
河流爬上高高的山岗,
  直到鲑鱼爬到大街歌唱,


我将爱你直到海洋折腾,
  整个沧海上升枯干,
直到北斗星发出呼啸,
  就像天鹅在天空歌唱。


岁月像飞兔急驰,
  我盈握的手中
是那四季明艳的鲜花
  和这世界的初爱。”


但是全城所有的时钟
  开始发出声声警告:
“哦,不要让时间欺骗你们,
  你们无法战胜时光。

在恶梦般的洞穴里
  正在公义显身的地方,
时光从暗处将你端祥
  你亲吻时他会发出咳嗽


那巍巍雪线一泻千里潺潺
  进入那绿色的山谷长川;
时光打乱了美丽的舞蹈
  和潜水者的辉煌之弓。

哦,将你的手放进逝川,
  用你的手深入水浸入手腕边;
凝视、凝视水池清泉
  你会惊诧你多么失落悲伤。


冰河在碗橱下发出声响,
  沙漠在床下发出悲叹,
茶杯崩裂噼啪作响
  一条巷子通向死亡之乡

哦,看吧,在那镜子前观看,
  哦,发现你多么忧伤:
生命依然充满祝福和希望
  尽管你不能祝福

哦,站起来,站在窗前
  当眼泪滚烫溢荡;
你依然用欺骗的心肠
  爱着欺骗你的伙伴。”

此刻已经很晚,夜色已晚,
  那些相爱的人们已经四散;
时钟已经停止他们的鸣响,
  只有那深深的河流继续流淌。


As I Walked Out One Evening
W. H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.


'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.

哎,这中文翻译,太糟蹋人了:crying:
 
哎,这中文翻译,太糟蹋人了:crying:

Is this any better? :D:D:D

親愛的,我愛你,我會愛你

直到中國和非洲的滿足,

河跨越的山

鮭魚在大街上唱歌,



我會愛你到海洋

折疊,掛了幹

七星去嘎嘎叫

喜歡鵝的天空。
 
Is this any better? :D:D:D

親愛的,我愛你,我會愛你

直到中國和非洲的滿足,

河跨越的山

鮭魚在大街上唱歌,



我會愛你到海洋

折疊,掛了幹

七星去嘎嘎叫

喜歡鵝的天空。

这个至少有点喜感:D:D
 
来个诗经体凑数:

心悦君兮
与君为誓
天涯咫尺
江河倒流
鱼鸣街市
乃与君辞

心爱君兮
与君成说
湖海叠错
七星如雁
鸣噪而过
乃与君阔


这诗太湿了!:cool: 书法家该行诗人了?
 
哎,这中文翻译,太糟蹋人了:crying:

现代诗是不太一样。我比较不解的是为什么这篇译作里把goose译成了天鹅,难道是说天上飞的鹅吗?
 
现代诗是不太一样。我比较不解的是为什么这篇译作里把goose译成了天鹅,难道是说天上飞的鹅吗?

我到能理解,天鹅听起来更高贵一些:blowzy::D:D:D
 
我到能理解,天鹅听起来更高贵一些:blowzy::D:D:D

那就太乡愿了,人家原文还讲了这个天上的鹅会“呱噪”(squawking),“呱噪”也高贵?:(
 
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