Call or not?

[民工]

最初由 haoren1 发布


Good suggestion. Thanks.

I didn't intend to be around her. I just want to know that she is doing fine.

I think she would be happy to receive a call from you who really cares her even if the lover relationship is over.

I would really look down those guys who spit to previous lover.

 

[梅子]

i don;t see there is something wrong with calling Exs. If the relationship is over, and u think your guys can still be friends, why not being then. Ex boyfriends/girlfriends know better about you, so it's a great chance to become good friends. Unless the relationship was over by a very hurting action/result, then it's not good at all to call, otherwise,i think you should call. If my bf's ex is calling him, i wouldn't mind, i mean it's over between them, so i should trust my bf and have confident in myself, that they are just frineds. In this way, this is also a test about the relationship, how strong/weak it is. Anyways, good luck to you

 

[haoren1]

最初由 梅子 发布
i don;t see there is something wrong with calling Exs. If the relationship is over, and u think your guys can still be friends, why not being then. Ex boyfriends/girlfriends know better about you, so it's a great chance to become good friends. Unless the relationship was over by a very hurting action/result, then it's not good at all to call, otherwise,i think you should call. If my bf's ex is calling him, i wouldn't mind, i mean it's over between them, so i should trust my bf and have confident in myself, that they are just frineds. In this way, this is also a test about the relationship, how strong/weak it is. Anyways, good luck to you

That's what I thought. I share your point of view. This ex and I did not end our relationship with a fight or anything like that, but she did feel sad when I broke up with her. I broke up with her because I didn't feel we were a good match, not because I didn't think she wasn't a good person. She is a very good girl, but I just didn't fall in love with her. I felt very bad and sad too when I broke up with her. I felt she deserved a good man, but I didn't feel that good man was me. I tried, and tried hard to fall in love with her, but I just could not....Sigh.............so, in a way, I did hurt her, and I feel bad. I hope she is doing fine.......

When we broke up, she cried, and I cried. It was terrible. I told her I would be her friend always and I still cared about her. A few days later, she sent me an email, in which she called me names and said some hurtful words. I didn't think she really meant them. She was just upset. However, I have never called her after that email. A year has passed, and I often think about her and wonder if she is doing well. I hope she has found what she wants for her life and I hope she is doing well.

 

[不错]

Until now, we know the whole story. Obviously, it was a terrible experience in her life.

I think you should tell her what you were writing here instead of just call her. The simple reason is that she won't tell you the truth if she were unhappy.

 

[haoren1]

A phone call is such a simple thing to do, but it’s really more complicated than just a simple phone call. I want to call, but I have not been able to pick up the phone.

 

[haoren1]

最初由 Felix 发布
Until now, we know the whole story. Obviously, it was a terrible experience in her life.

I think you should tell her what you were writing here instead of just call her. The simple reason is that she won't tell you the truth if she were unhappy.

I did. I wrote her a long letter following the break up, to give her a closure
I didn't hear anything from her after that.

 

[OVER]

Again,please don't bother to remind the unhappy past to your ex-GF.Even though you guys are able to be friends,don't do that.When it is over,just let it go.There are many ways to behave like a mature man.The point is you have to know what you are going to react before you pick up the phone. What can you do if she tells you life is not so the same as when you were around? Come on,cut the crap.It's nonsense to look back.Things have changed since the very second when ppl break up with their GF/BFs.It's a so naive thing to think that broken-up GF/BFs can be friends. Then why bother to break up? It is normal that ppl still have sort of feeling of "good memory" when they actually couldn't get together forever while forget all those bad even ugly experiences with their GF/BFs. To your case,I sympathize but recommend you not to call. To other ppl,please think about the reasons why you broke up with those Ex-s.Please don't be cheated by your "good memories".
Sorry to have said all above.I know people have different opinions here but I still insist it.Good luck!

 

[haoren1]

最初由 梅子烧酒 发布
Again,please don't bother to remind the unhappy past to your ex-GF.Even though you guys are able to be friends,don't do that.When it is over,just let it go.There are many ways to behave like a mature man.The point is you have to know what you are going to react before you pick up the phone. What can you do if she tells you life is not so the same as when you were around? Come on,cut the crap.It's nonsense to look back.Sorry to have said all above.I know people have different opinions here but I still insist it.Good luck!

Personally, I would be touched if one of my ex calls me up and asks me how I am doing, as a friend, but again, people are different and I respect that. I don’t know if she thinks like you do, and that’s why I have not called.

 

[不错]

最初由 haoren1 发布


I did. I wrote her a long letter following the break up, to give her a closure
I didn't hear anything from her after that.

That means she already accepted the reality.

 

[haoren1]

Thank you all for your input. Thanks for caring.

I have decided not to call, not for a while. There is a risk of disturbing the peace in her life, and I don't want to take that chance.

 

[**Secret Girl**]

最初由 haoren1 发布


I am very hesitant to call, not because I am afraid it's not fair to my current girlfriend, but because I am not sure if this ex girlfriend will appreciate it. I myself would appreciate such a phone call from an ex-girlfriend, knowing she still remembers me and cares about me.

Although I do care about her and I want her to be happy, I probably won't call. I guess I will wish her good health and happiness in my heart.

I don't agree that a current girlfriend should feel troubled by such a phone call. Such a phone call is only for a good wish, not to rekindle a past relationship. I don't know if my girlfriend will mind. She probably will.

你都有CURRENT GF了, 还在乎原来那个干什么?? 过去就让他过去吧! 为什么还要打电话给她呢? 一点意义都没有. 如果你不想你现在的GF胡思乱想, 不想让她不高兴, 我觉得你最好别打电话给你的EX了.

你担心这么多, 我想是因为你还在意原来的女朋友. 这样对你现在的GF不公平. 不要伤害她了吧?!

 

[**Secret Girl**]

最初由 梅子烧酒 发布
To Haoren:

Hey,man. You know what your GF is going to react. And you can also imagine how your ex-GF's current BF is going to deal with it.Maybe I am totally wrong coz I know none of you.However,it's not wise to do that.Take care,man.And good luck.

 

[**Secret Girl**]

最初由 haoren1 发布


That's what I thought. I share your point of view. This ex and I did not end our relationship with a fight or anything like that, but she did feel sad when I broke up with her. I broke up with her because I didn't feel we were a good match, not because I didn't think she wasn't a good person. She is a very good girl, but I just didn't fall in love with her. I felt very bad and sad too when I broke up with her. I felt she deserved a good man, but I didn't feel that good man was me. I tried, and tried hard to fall in love with her, but I just could not....Sigh.............so, in a way, I did hurt her, and I feel bad. I hope she is doing fine.......

既然你知道你之前HURT过她, 就别再勾起她痛苦的回忆了. 都过去一年多了, 大家相安无事, 为什么还要去打乱她的生活? 又要让她再想起过去不开心的事情呢?

当初说分手的是你, 现在要主动找她的又是你...

 

[**Secret Girl**]

最初由 haoren1 发布
Thank you all for your input. Thanks for caring.

I have decided not to call, not for a while. There is a risk of disturbing the peace in her life, and I don't want to take that chance.

嘿嘿.. 原来我刚才说的意见说晚了.. :blowzy: :blowzy:

你的DECISION!!

 

[haoren1]

最初由 secret girl 发布


嘿嘿.. 原来我刚才说的意见说晚了.. :blowzy: :blowzy:

你的DECISION!!

Hehe......

thank you just the same.