还是请教下离婚方面的一些情况（比较紧急）

[dvd888]

I know a white friend. He said his family used to be very rich. His father and his step mother used to own a one million house along the river. Things had been changed since his father began to devoice his step mother for some reason. Both of them hired his/her own lawyer. The case was dragged for several years. The end was they had to sell their house to pay the lawyer fee. When the case settled down. Each of them still had around 70,000 dollars left. All the money went to the lawyer's pocket.

Just a reminder. Be careful to go to the lawyer.

 

[qiuyi_1]

1. She will keep the child even if she has no income just because she is the mother but if she tells the judge that she will bring the child back to China after divorce, she may lose the child. Judge will order her husband to pay child support according to his imcome. If he doesn't pay, he will be in trouble.
2. Before they separate, she can stay in the same apartment or house with her husband but the atmosphere won't be good. If he doesn't allow her in, she can call police or get help from social worker.
After they separate, she will get half of their property unless her husband can prove that he had a car worth of $20000, and $10000 cash and ... before their marriage. For the money in their joint account, if her husband takes them out before she comes back, I don't think she can do too much unless she can prove that she had the money before she married him.
3. If he hires a lawyer, she has to hire a lawyer if she doesn't want to lose the case. She has to be parpared to pay big lawyer fee from $10000 to $20000 if she has some money. She even has to pay when she talks to her lawyer on the phone, it will be much more expensive than long distance. If she doesn't have money, she can get free lawyer. Actually the lawyer is not free but Canadian government will pay the lawyer not your friend.

Good luck to your friend

 

[markatottawa]

thank you guys so much,for someone's suggestion, i haven't even thought of that.
once again, me and my friend would like to thank all you who provide some valuable suggestion and those who read this story...

 

[qiuyi_1]

Be sure that she comes back ASAP otherwise it's an abduction even if she is the mother and she could be arrested when she comes back later.
Two things:
1) If his pension is more than hers, she can get some. He either pays a lump-sum amount now or pays when he retires.
2) If she doesn't speak good English, she can request the court to provide a free interpreter only when they go to court. When she talks to the lawyer, she has to pay interpreter by herself if she has money otherwise government will pay.

Another thing that I'm not too sure about:
The side who loses the lawsuit may have to pay some lawyer fees for the other side.

I suggest that your friend talk to her husband first to work out a deal by themselves. If lawyers are involved, it will be very expensive, very time-consuming and everything will turn very ugly.

A question:
Is her husband a loving father? If he is and he has a stable job, maybe she can give the child up. It will be very difficult to lose her child at the beginning but it will also be difficult if she raises the child by herself either in Canada or in China because the child is too young.
Don't blame me if you don't agree with me.

 

[markatottawa]

最初由 qiuyi_1 发布
Be sure that she comes back ASAP otherwise it's an abduction even if she is the mother and she could be arrested when she comes back later.
Two things:
1) If his pension is more than hers, she can get some. He either pays a lump-sum amount now or pay when he retires.
2) If she doesn't speak good English, she can request the court to provide a free interpreter only when they go to court. When she talks to the lawyer, she has to pay interpreter by herself if she has money otherwise government will pay.

Another thing that I'm not too sure about:
The side who loses the lawsuit may have to pay some lawyer fees for the other side.

I suggest that your friend talks to her husband first to work out a deal by themselves, if lawyers are involved, it will be very expensive, everything will turn ugly and the lawsuit may be dragged.

A question:
Is her husband a loving father? If he is and he has a stable job, maybe she can give the child up. It maybe difficult to lose her child at the beginning but it will also be difficult if she raises the child by herself either in Canada or in China because the child is too young.
Don't blame me if you don't agree with me.

thanks alot for your advice, for the question you asked, i can't answer,because i dont know what's in her mind now,but i'm sure she doesnt wanna give up her child for now.

you're right,giving the child a joyful life should be the first consideration,i will let her know,but i have no idea of her husband's financial status, so i cant say anything...

anyway,thank you for your kindness,you are such a great person,thanks.

 

[hulaha]

现在很忙，但是这个帖子还是要回一下。

个人感觉，那个男人不男人，虽然那个人表面上还算老实。和那个人离婚丢的只是面子，赢的是里子。所以和那个人离婚并不是件坏事。而且是对方先提出来的，那就更好了。呵呵.........

关键是要尽量争取一些经济利益。说白了，就是多要钱。所以，当务之急是调整好心态，不要总是觉得自己很冤，其实是好事情。然后静下心来找一些加拿大关于离婚的法律看看。当然如果有个免费律师那就更好了。自己最好还是对有关法律有个了解。那个男的有工作，女的又暂时没有经济来源。让那个男的定期给她一些赡养费。有了基本生活来源，就有更多的时间充电，找更多的机会。

我个人意见是，把孩子给那个男的也不是件坏事，这样对孩子成长也好些，自己的负担也少些。有空长去看看孩子（这个机会应该是有的），让孩子知道自己的亲妈妈非常关心她，只是被迫和她分离。等孩子长大，也可以问问孩子喜欢和谁生活。 现在没有生活来源并不等于以后总是这样。

 

[yoshida]

嗯

人生不易。唉。

:blowzy:

 

[蹉跎岁月]

两人肯定也风花雪月、缠绵悱恻过，还有共同的骨肉作证。

现在大家都出主意、想办法，让他们争财产，争骨肉，尽显聪明才智。

人为什么要结婚？

不是冤家不聚头，一点没错。

 

[ccc]

最初由 hulaha 发布
现在很忙，但是这个帖子还是要回一下。

个人感觉，那个男人不男人，虽然那个人表面上还算老实。和那个人离婚丢的只是面子，赢的是里子。所以和那个人离婚并不是件坏事。而且是对方先提出来的，那就更好了。呵呵.........

关键是要尽量争取一些经济利益。说白了，就是多要钱。所以，当务之急是调整好心态，不要总是觉得自己很冤，其实是好事情。然后静下心来找一些加拿大关于离婚的法律看看。当然如果有个免费律师那就更好了。自己最好还是对有关法律有个了解。那个男的有工作，女的又暂时没有经济来源。让那个男的定期给她一些赡养费。有了基本生活来源，就有更多的时间充电，找更多的机会。

我个人意见是，把孩子给那个男的也不是件坏事，这样对孩子成长也好些，自己的负担也少些。有空长去看看孩子（这个机会应该是有的），让孩子知道自己的亲妈妈非常关心她，只是被迫和她分离。等孩子长大，也可以问问孩子喜欢和谁生活。 现在没有生活来源并不等于以后总是这样。

Right to the point... She will get support money anyways.

 

[twjawoman]

The lady is me

Since the lady emailed her husband that it is illegal if he kicks her out when they are not divorced. Now he agreed to rent a place for her. But he will only pay one month rent, so the lady needs to get a labour job as soon as possible. He also needs the receipts to prove how the lady and her child spent the money in China.


He is not a lovely father. He always looks unhappy and doesn't know how to play with her. But he loves her,too. And he has a stable job from government. He cares about money very much

The lady trusted him so much before. She gave all her saving and money from labour jobs to him. And she never took money from the bank. They have a joint bank card. It is sure that he already took all money out. Before he wants to work abroad, so they sold the house, the car,the furniture. They don't have any property left.

So should the lady try to get some money from he?

Do you think the lady can get the child support? (She has a bachlor degree from University in Ottawa)

Thank everyone's help. I really apprivicate your guys. I stess out in China, and feel sorry for my poor child( only one and half years old). I am thinking which way is better for my daughter's future.

 

[Concrete]

都想从婚姻中得到点什么....哎

 

[qiuyi_1]

I don't think it's a good idea that she stays in the place he rents for her because it's not the right thing to do(I'm not talking about who pays the rent). He has no right to kick her out of the appartment before they get the judgement from court. So if it happened to me, first I would call police if he doesn't allow me in, second I would try to get help from social workers. Why does she want to find a labour job when she can get help from police or government? The money she earns from labour job is not enough to pay the rent and lawyer fees. She has nothing to lose but chance to win if she doesn't have money at all. Try to get a free day care and a free lawyer ( apply for "legal aid" - government money to pay lawyer fees ). Here is Canada. The benefits are not only for native Canadians but also for us - Chinese Canadians.
If he asks her to provide all receipts in China, he has to provide all his receipts in Canada and all bank statements about how he transferred the money, how he spent the money during her absence. The guy is really bad because he planned all these such as sold the house, took all money out when she went back to China etc.
If she keeps the child, she will get child support for sure but the money is not too much (few hundred dollars per month), even if she has a job, he still has to pay until the child is 18 or 22 (if the child goes to University), don't worry about that expecially he is a government employee. If he doesn't pay, the court will takes the money out of his account and pays her and he could be arrested(it happened before). What she should think about is if she plans to go back to China after divorce. If she plans to, I think she should give up the child otherwise he may get the child back to Canada through court because the child was born here, he has his right to visit the child...
Talk to lawyers(don't find a new graduate because they don't have experience) (I think the first talk is free) and ...

Remember, if he doesn't allow her in, and if he stops her using his arms or whatever, that is ASSAULT. You know what I mean? Police will take actions against him.

One thing to talk about: Canadians or Americans or Iranians etc. are different species from Chinese. At the time you trust their honey mouths, you also have to make everything(money, responsibilities etc.) very clear. They are good people (sweet, polite etc.) if they can't take adventage of you, but if they can, some of them will turn very ugly.

 

[twjawoman]

thanks, every one

Before he wants to divorce me, we had emails fights. The reasons for a divorce are unbeliveable. But one thing is sure that he listens to his parnents. His parents always looked down on me since I am from China.

We had a joint count, but I know he really didn't want to do it. And he knows I don't like spending money. Every time I spent money for food, I always need to give him receipt. He said the receipts are good for him to do some finance for the family.

Sometimes I wanted to divorce with ,but we have a child and I think he will be very lonely if I leave him( He almost has no friend) and I think he loves me. Now I know everything is wrong. He never trusts me and is very selfish.

I want my child to have a happy life. She is very happy to stay with my big family in China. If the child stays with me in Cananda, I can't give her wealthy life since I have no car, no family here. And I need to look for jobs. If I give my child to him. I don't think he can make her happy( he is unhappy person). And if he sent her to his parents' place( another city), I can't see her very much.

One thing I just want to ask that if I can get the child: Can I bring her to visit China later since my family loves her very much? If I want to get a job in China, can I bring her to China with me? Or Can I support my parents to Canada if my income is low?

Thanks,

 

[某某]

不是很懂这方面的事情

但是，如果你先生不同意，你是不能把孩子带回中国长住的。可能连短期探亲，也得经过他的同意。但是如果他能够同意，并且签下文件公证过，你应该是可以带孩子回国的。这一点，你最好请教律师。

如果你的收入低于担保最低要求，是不能担保你父母来加拿大移民的。但是只要有一定存款，你应该可以办理他们过来探亲。

 

[某某]

难道没有挽回的余地了吗？
用email来往的吵架，双方语气都不能完全的表达。很有可能会有误解。连电话都不能保证没有误解。最好还是面对面好好谈一谈。