讲笑话盖房子加声望
- 主题发起人 wiiwii
- 开始时间
already in the hell:blink::blink::blink:go to hell, you fool
- 注册
- 2009-03-01
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- 375
- 荣誉分数
- 42
- 声望点数
- 38
1、五元钱被犯罪团伙绑架了，打电话给百元钞： "喂!你儿子在这里，不想我们撕票就用自己来换他!" 百元钞想了一下说： " 撕吧，撕了你们连5 块钱都没有了!
2. "我看不清太远的东西， "病人对眼科医生说。 "请跟我来， "医生把病人带到外面，用手指着天上的太阳，问道， "你看那是什么? " "太阳。 "病人回答。 " 那你还想看多远! "
3. H君与朋友进入一家高档商场。进了店门後才走了两步，朋友忽见他在光滑的大理石 地面上作滑冰状，甚感奇怪。问他，H君一边继续滑一边指着旁边的牌子，认真地 说：“既然来了，就要遵守这儿的规矩。“那牌子上写着：“小心地滑“。
4.一只壁虎在一施工工地上游荡，这时正好有一条大鳄鱼远远地爬了过来，准备要一口吃 掉它，情急之下，小壁虎上前一把抱住了鳄鱼的腿，大声喊：\"妈妈!\"大鳄鱼一愣，立 即老泪纵横：\"儿啊，别再上班了，半个月就瘦成这样了.
5.朋友讲的，他们寝室一兄弟是个超级网虫，也是个传说中的人物，平时神龙见首不见尾，一年难得见上一面。话说某天这兄弟从外面回来，二话不说脱了衣服就往床上倒，估计有个几天没合眼了，他这一脱鞋不要紧，全寝室人都往外奔，那气味实在受不了啊!只有一个正在看武侠的哥们一直端坐不动，那几个在外面纳闷的不行，过後问那哥们意志力怎么这么坚定，难道就没感觉吗?那兄弟抽抽鼻子，委屈的说：我感冒两天了，啥都闻不到，不过就是觉的眼睛睁不开......
2. "我看不清太远的东西， "病人对眼科医生说。 "请跟我来， "医生把病人带到外面，用手指着天上的太阳，问道， "你看那是什么? " "太阳。 "病人回答。 " 那你还想看多远! "
3. H君与朋友进入一家高档商场。进了店门後才走了两步，朋友忽见他在光滑的大理石 地面上作滑冰状，甚感奇怪。问他，H君一边继续滑一边指着旁边的牌子，认真地 说：“既然来了，就要遵守这儿的规矩。“那牌子上写着：“小心地滑“。
4.一只壁虎在一施工工地上游荡，这时正好有一条大鳄鱼远远地爬了过来，准备要一口吃 掉它，情急之下，小壁虎上前一把抱住了鳄鱼的腿，大声喊：\"妈妈!\"大鳄鱼一愣，立 即老泪纵横：\"儿啊，别再上班了，半个月就瘦成这样了.
5.朋友讲的，他们寝室一兄弟是个超级网虫，也是个传说中的人物，平时神龙见首不见尾，一年难得见上一面。话说某天这兄弟从外面回来，二话不说脱了衣服就往床上倒，估计有个几天没合眼了，他这一脱鞋不要紧，全寝室人都往外奔，那气味实在受不了啊!只有一个正在看武侠的哥们一直端坐不动，那几个在外面纳闷的不行，过後问那哥们意志力怎么这么坚定，难道就没感觉吗?那兄弟抽抽鼻子，委屈的说：我感冒两天了，啥都闻不到，不过就是觉的眼睛睁不开......
- 注册
- 2003-08-11
- 消息
- 6,604
- 荣誉分数
- 199
- 声望点数
- 173
为了声望俺COPY 一个，省得这位老兄郁闷而终。。
很久墨收到一个QQH 俺很失望
俺想到死 曾用薯片割过脉 用豆腐撞过头 用降落伞跳过楼
用面条上过吊 可都墨死成
你就给俺一拥抱，憋死俺算了
很久墨收到一个QQH 俺很失望
俺想到死 曾用薯片割过脉 用豆腐撞过头 用降落伞跳过楼
用面条上过吊 可都墨死成
你就给俺一拥抱，憋死俺算了
- 注册
- 2010-02-15
- 消息
- 1,225
- 荣誉分数
- 144
- 声望点数
- 73
I am only good with English jokes, especially dirty ones:
The Wife Wants $24.00 For Sex..
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $24.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than
three decades she had 'charged' him for sex . . .
these holdings had multiplied and these were the
results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out . . .
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
The Wife Wants $24.00 For Sex..
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $24.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than
three decades she had 'charged' him for sex . . .
these holdings had multiplied and these were the
results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out . . .
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
- 注册
- 2007-08-10
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- 1,147
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- 386
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- 193
1. 黑猩猩不小心踩到了长臂猿拉的便便，长臂猿温柔细心地帮其擦洗干净后它们相爱了。别人问起他们是怎么走到一起的？黑猩猩感慨地说："猿粪！都是猿粪啊！"
2.做饭时,一只螃蟹顶出锅盖，对你说:”我热！”，答曰: “想红就忍着…”
2.做饭时,一只螃蟹顶出锅盖，对你说:”我热！”，答曰: “想红就忍着…”
