- 注册
- 2003-02-08
- 消息
- 11,184
- 荣誉分数
- 9
- 声望点数
- 218
一个当地同学发给我的笑话. 很好玩. 但是只是给男的看的哦, MM们看了会觉得受侮辱, 本人不担当责任
>>Women bashing - For men tired of receiving male bashing jokes.
>>
>>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
>>probably
>>never be able to support you.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
>>closer to the kitchen sink.
>> ----------------------------------------
>>How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>>When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>>----------------------------------------
>>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Why do men break wind more than women?
>>Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
>>pressure.
>>----------------------------------------
>>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
>>the front door, who do you let in first?
>>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>>----------------------------------------
>>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>>A woman who won't do what she's told.
>>----------------------------------------
>>I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>>--------------------------------------
>>I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to
>>interrupt
>>her.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
>>drive
>>by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
>>Suffering.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
>>I said, "Dust!"
>>----------------------------------------
>>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
>>created
>>Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor
>>Man has rested.
>>------------------------------------------
>>Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
>>----------------------------------------
>>A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
>>and
>>said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
>>She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
>>----------------------------------------
>>Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
>>man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens
>>in
>>every country, son.
>>----------------------------------------
>>A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted."
>>The
>>next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
>>thing:
>>"You can have mine."
>>----------------------------------------
>>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
>>forget
>>it once.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
>>street
>>with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
>>beautiful.
>
>>Women bashing - For men tired of receiving male bashing jokes.
>>
>>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
>>probably
>>never be able to support you.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
>>closer to the kitchen sink.
>> ----------------------------------------
>>How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>>When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>>----------------------------------------
>>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Why do men break wind more than women?
>>Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
>>pressure.
>>----------------------------------------
>>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
>>the front door, who do you let in first?
>>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>>----------------------------------------
>>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>>A woman who won't do what she's told.
>>----------------------------------------
>>I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>>--------------------------------------
>>I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to
>>interrupt
>>her.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
>>drive
>>by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
>>Suffering.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
>>I said, "Dust!"
>>----------------------------------------
>>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
>>created
>>Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor
>>Man has rested.
>>------------------------------------------
>>Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
>>----------------------------------------
>>A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
>>and
>>said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
>>She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
>>----------------------------------------
>>Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
>>man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens
>>in
>>every country, son.
>>----------------------------------------
>>A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted."
>>The
>>next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
>>thing:
>>"You can have mine."
>>----------------------------------------
>>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
>>forget
>>it once.
>>----------------------------------------
>>Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
>>street
>>with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
>>beautiful.
>
