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- 2002-10-07
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It will be weeks before we know which team will claim the Stanley Cup – fans in Ottawa and numerous other cities already know, unfortunately, which teams will not – and longer still before we learn which players will be honoured for various individual achievements in the last year.
But we at the Bandwagon say, why wait?
Already, our attention is turning elsewhere, our sadness at the Senators’ loss to the Montreal Canadiens tempered by – dare we say it? – relief that we will no longer need sit through another Glenn Healy mangled metaphor (“they’re going to empty the tank and leave it all on the table!”) or airing of the Scotiabank mortgage commercial.
Though we might miss the Johnsonville Sausage TV spot, which left us wistful. And hungry.
But enough about brats! It’s time to hand out some first-round Sens-Habs hardware:
The “Just a Flesh Wound” Black Knight Bobblehead: To Mark “Hardrock” Stone for playing on, arm frozen like a February lake trout, after P.K. Subban’s gratuitous Game 1 slash.
The Certificate of Foolish Inconsistency: To the NHL player safety department for not responding to intent-to-injure actions (Subban, Dustin Byfuglien et al) that would earn suspensions in the regular season. Hey NHL – as Leafs fans have proven, there comes a point EVERYONE gets fed up.
Surely You Joust Award: To Habs forward Brandon Prust for jabbing his stick at Sens goalie Craig Anderson as Montreal trailed by three goals in the final moments of Game 5. Claimed Prust: “He started it!”
Canada’s Next Best Artist: Cancel the program, CBC. Curtis Lazar has it sewn up.
Canada’s Smartest Person: No early winner in this CBC competition, but we can be sure the “brightest person” was the dude in the fluorescent yellow sweater in the sea-of-red Calgary stands (different series, but what the heck).
Player Most Reminiscent of Darcy Tucker (but somehow much less likeable): Brendan Gallagher.
Wish You Were Hear postcard: To Robillard Hearing Centres spokeswoman Julia Robillard, whose magnificent silver mane and inspiring “Hearing is Believing” slogan became Twitter touchstones during TSN regular-season broadcasts.
Best Wardrobe: Jointly to Jonathan Pitre and Sidney Crosby, for the snappy blue suit No. 87 had his tailor stitch up so the young Epidermolysis bullosa sufferer and hockey fan could arrive at games in NHL player-appropriate style.
Most Valuable Broadcaster: Hockey Night in Canada reporter David Amber for his intelligent questions and clear delivery.
Least Valuable Broadcaster: Tough choice, but Paul Romanuk gets the nod for such odd-yet-irritating observations as, “That was so cheeky, the little waggle of the wrist,” offered after Gallagher taunted Stone.
Official “The Boors” plaques: To fans on both sides who took the rivalry too far, and to the Bell Centre security staff who supposedly ignored the protests of two Ottawa fans who said they were hit with rolled up towels and doused with beer (though we’re listing this last one with an asterisk, since the young women never filed a formal complaint).
The Bronze Blocker: Jointly to Andrew “Hamburglar” Hammond for getting the Sens to the playoffs in a historic late-season run, and Craig “Don’t call me Glen, Glenn” Anderson for taking up the torch in a series that could so easily have gone the other way.
Lady Bling $500 Gift Certificate: To Erik “King” Karlsson for the sequined loafers he wore (sockless!) to the rink (and shown, ever so fleetingly, on the TV broadcast).
And finally:
The Rick Chiarelli Jump the Gun Medallion of Regret: To referee Chris Lee’s early whistle on Carey Price’s Game 6 stop-that-wasn’t.
查看原文...
But we at the Bandwagon say, why wait?
Already, our attention is turning elsewhere, our sadness at the Senators’ loss to the Montreal Canadiens tempered by – dare we say it? – relief that we will no longer need sit through another Glenn Healy mangled metaphor (“they’re going to empty the tank and leave it all on the table!”) or airing of the Scotiabank mortgage commercial.
Though we might miss the Johnsonville Sausage TV spot, which left us wistful. And hungry.
But enough about brats! It’s time to hand out some first-round Sens-Habs hardware:
The “Just a Flesh Wound” Black Knight Bobblehead: To Mark “Hardrock” Stone for playing on, arm frozen like a February lake trout, after P.K. Subban’s gratuitous Game 1 slash.
The Certificate of Foolish Inconsistency: To the NHL player safety department for not responding to intent-to-injure actions (Subban, Dustin Byfuglien et al) that would earn suspensions in the regular season. Hey NHL – as Leafs fans have proven, there comes a point EVERYONE gets fed up.
Surely You Joust Award: To Habs forward Brandon Prust for jabbing his stick at Sens goalie Craig Anderson as Montreal trailed by three goals in the final moments of Game 5. Claimed Prust: “He started it!”
Canada’s Next Best Artist: Cancel the program, CBC. Curtis Lazar has it sewn up.
Canada’s Smartest Person: No early winner in this CBC competition, but we can be sure the “brightest person” was the dude in the fluorescent yellow sweater in the sea-of-red Calgary stands (different series, but what the heck).
Player Most Reminiscent of Darcy Tucker (but somehow much less likeable): Brendan Gallagher.
Wish You Were Hear postcard: To Robillard Hearing Centres spokeswoman Julia Robillard, whose magnificent silver mane and inspiring “Hearing is Believing” slogan became Twitter touchstones during TSN regular-season broadcasts.
Best Wardrobe: Jointly to Jonathan Pitre and Sidney Crosby, for the snappy blue suit No. 87 had his tailor stitch up so the young Epidermolysis bullosa sufferer and hockey fan could arrive at games in NHL player-appropriate style.
Most Valuable Broadcaster: Hockey Night in Canada reporter David Amber for his intelligent questions and clear delivery.
Least Valuable Broadcaster: Tough choice, but Paul Romanuk gets the nod for such odd-yet-irritating observations as, “That was so cheeky, the little waggle of the wrist,” offered after Gallagher taunted Stone.
Official “The Boors” plaques: To fans on both sides who took the rivalry too far, and to the Bell Centre security staff who supposedly ignored the protests of two Ottawa fans who said they were hit with rolled up towels and doused with beer (though we’re listing this last one with an asterisk, since the young women never filed a formal complaint).
The Bronze Blocker: Jointly to Andrew “Hamburglar” Hammond for getting the Sens to the playoffs in a historic late-season run, and Craig “Don’t call me Glen, Glenn” Anderson for taking up the torch in a series that could so easily have gone the other way.
Lady Bling $500 Gift Certificate: To Erik “King” Karlsson for the sequined loafers he wore (sockless!) to the rink (and shown, ever so fleetingly, on the TV broadcast).
And finally:
The Rick Chiarelli Jump the Gun Medallion of Regret: To referee Chris Lee’s early whistle on Carey Price’s Game 6 stop-that-wasn’t.
查看原文...
