Reading, writing and romance: Teaching kids how to handle their emotions could give them a...

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Managing emotions as a young person can be a struggle — whether it’s dealing with the loss of a friendship, clashing with parents and teachers or, as teens, taking those first steps into the world of romance.

That’s why the province’s elementary and high schools now weave Social Emotional Learning (SEL) techniques into the classroom, along with courses in science and math.

“Research has been quite clear to show that (EQ) does impact academic achievement,” says child psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Paquette, the Ottawa Catholic School Board’s lead on mental health education.

Emotional intelligence — EQ for short — is usually described as someone’s ability to recognize their emotions and the emotions of others. Many experts believe that having a healthy EQ is as important as IQ when it comes to success in school, the workplace and relationships.

“Some students are calmer in the classroom, more in tune to themselves and what’s going on; they have better relationships in the classroom and they are better able to learn and perform,” Paquette said.

And, here’s the key: “They also do better in their work environment and in their interpersonal relationships as adults and tend to be more successful overall.”

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Sophie, Nathan, Callie and Marcus, all students at St. Anne Elementary School.


If relationships succeed or fail, in part, based on the emotional toolkits we bring into them, then helping kids to build their own emotional capacity earlier makes sense. Or so the theory goes.

Mental health and well-being concepts were formally introduced throughout Ontario’s schools in 2015 as part of the a strategic plan introduced by the province in 2011 called Open Minds, Healthy Minds to promote mental health and emotional well being.

In Grade 3, students learn to use self-awareness skills such as deep breathing exercises, a technique called reframing (telling yourself a situation is not that bad), and mindfulness activities.

Heather Irwin, a spokeswoman for the Ministry of Education, says these techniques provide a strong basis for developing a positive sense of self and healthy relationships as they set goals, make decisions and solve problems.

Here’s an example: When children come in from recess they can be excited, and sometimes upset if something happened on the playground. So teachers may use coping strategies to reduce overall stress in the classroom.

“A teacher might try to adjust the environment by dimming the lights a little bit, maybe even putting on some quiet music, and that helps to settle the students,” says Dr. Petra Duschner, child psychologist, manager, mental health and critical services with the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board, adding that the teacher may also talk about stress in the classroom and concept of “reframing” or managing negative thoughts.

“When we have those negative thoughts we have to remember that those are thoughts and we don’t have to act on those thoughts, and we don’t have to believe those negative thoughts,” says Duschner. “(It’s) teaching kids to become aware of their thoughts and learn how to let them go.”

She says its important for children recognize what’s happening in their bodies as well. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, that will also affect their mood.

“We all know, there’s a term used now that’s called hangry. It’s something as basic as helping children understand when they are hungry … and how do you know when you are tired.”

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Nathan, a grade 3 student at St. Anne Elementary School.


Schools also use a method called Zones of Regulation. Students match their mood with one of four colours — red represents anger; yellow indicates frustration; green is a happy zone and blue can mean sad or tired — to gauge the anxiety level in the classroom. Paquette says this can be done in a child-friendly way. For example, a teacher may ask students to choose a coloured popsicle stick on the way into class and put them in a bucket. If there are more red than green, the teacher may adjust the change the classroom activity.

“If you are in the red zone you are maybe really revved up – and it’s probably not the best time to be sitting and doing a quiet task,” says Paquette. “So that teacher knows that maybe I need to do a relaxation activity with the whole class to bring them down.”

So are these techniques helping? Both experts say some classrooms seem calmer but it’s still too soon to gauge. They say conversations about stress management and understanding mental health evolve as the students grow and continue into high school because self-regulating is a life-long process.

“Kids are learning (about self-regulation) when their problems are more manageable and adults can be there to intervene and help model and coach them along,” says Paquette. “So hopefully by the time they are adolescents and adults they are able to use the skill independently.”

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