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Every day, it seems we are flooded with pop-psych advice about happiness. The relentless message is that there’s something we’re supposed to do to be happy―make the right choices, or have the right set of beliefs about ourselves.
Coupled with this is the notion that happiness is a permanent condition. If we’re not joyful all the time, we conclude there’s a problem.
Yet what most people experience is not a permanent state of happiness. It is something more ordinary, a mixture of what essayist Hugh Prather once called “unsolved problems, ambiguous victories and vague defeats---with few moments of clear peace.”
Maybe you wouldn’t say yesterday was a happy day, because you had a misunderstanding with your boss. But weren’t there moments of happiness, moments of clear peace? Now that you think about it, wasn’t there a letter from an old friend, of a stranger who asked where you got such a great haircut? You remember having a bad day, yet those good moments occurred.
Happiness is like a victor, a genial, exotic Aunt Tilly who turns up when you least expect her, orders an extravagant round of drinks and then disappears, trailing a lingering scent of gardenias. You can’t command her appearance; you can only appreciate her when she does show up. And you can’t force happiness to happen―but you can make sure you are aware of it when it does.
While you’re walking home with a head full of problems, try to notice the sun set the windows of the city on fire. Listen to the shouts of kids playing in fading light, and feel your spirits rise, just from having paid attention.
Happiness is an attitude, not a condition. It’s cleaning the blinds while listening to an aria, or spending a pleasant hour organizing your closet. Happiness is your family assembled at dinner. It’s in the present, not in the distant promise of a “someday when…”. How luckier we are―and how much more happiness we are living.
Happiness is a choice. Reach out for it at the moment it appears, like a balloon drifting seaward in a bright blue sky.
Coupled with this is the notion that happiness is a permanent condition. If we’re not joyful all the time, we conclude there’s a problem.
Yet what most people experience is not a permanent state of happiness. It is something more ordinary, a mixture of what essayist Hugh Prather once called “unsolved problems, ambiguous victories and vague defeats---with few moments of clear peace.”
Maybe you wouldn’t say yesterday was a happy day, because you had a misunderstanding with your boss. But weren’t there moments of happiness, moments of clear peace? Now that you think about it, wasn’t there a letter from an old friend, of a stranger who asked where you got such a great haircut? You remember having a bad day, yet those good moments occurred.
Happiness is like a victor, a genial, exotic Aunt Tilly who turns up when you least expect her, orders an extravagant round of drinks and then disappears, trailing a lingering scent of gardenias. You can’t command her appearance; you can only appreciate her when she does show up. And you can’t force happiness to happen―but you can make sure you are aware of it when it does.
While you’re walking home with a head full of problems, try to notice the sun set the windows of the city on fire. Listen to the shouts of kids playing in fading light, and feel your spirits rise, just from having paid attention.
Happiness is an attitude, not a condition. It’s cleaning the blinds while listening to an aria, or spending a pleasant hour organizing your closet. Happiness is your family assembled at dinner. It’s in the present, not in the distant promise of a “someday when…”. How luckier we are―and how much more happiness we are living.
Happiness is a choice. Reach out for it at the moment it appears, like a balloon drifting seaward in a bright blue sky.
