回国的迷惘

[foolpan]

每年都有许多人会重新思考自己的选择，出国是不是一种错误？现在，轮到我思考这个问题了。

两年前的决定源自对当时中国未来的无望。几年在中国政府的机械工作，目睹太多弱势群体的生活，而周围的人则一个个被社会吞没，我对自己说，如果我不能改变环境，我就一定要适应环境。因为当时我不想适应(现在仍不想)中国的游戏规则，我选择了出国留学，在工作六年以后。

出国两年来最深的感觉就是亲情的可贵。现在国内的妻子和父母一再希望我回国，毕竟对于今年在国内工作已八年而且事业也有小成的妻子来说，放弃国内重新开始几乎等同于让她与一个深受的恋人诀别。而且我并没有自信单凭一已之力能使其在加拿大达到与中国一样的生活标准，因此我也只有选择回国。

回国对我来说也许意味着某种失败，但这并不是我现在的担心所在。因为单从事业的角度来讲，不论在哪都要看机遇。而凭着以前的工作和现在的海外留学经历，只要自己的期望不是太高，找到一份好工作应该不会太难。可是，回去后又得面对中国的游戏规则，又会卷入中国现存的许许多多的问题之中，比如环境污染，食品安全、社会治安。。。当时为了回避这些问题而出国，现在又。。。

最让我迷惘的是在中国教育下一代的问题，按照传统道德标准生长起来的人绝对适应不了中国现实与拜金的社会现状，难到从小就要对孩子贯输现实主义和复杂的人情事故？或者按传统的道德标准教育孩子，以后能适应多少就全看他自己的悟性？

有位长辈对我说过，人要有点远见，但也不能太远。但谁能告诉我“太远”到底有多远。。。

昨天国内一兄弟告诉我升副处了，更让我感到紧迫，也许不应该想太多，做了再说。

套用天下无贼里的一句戏词：知我者，谓我心忧，不知我者，谓我何求。

有点迷惘。。也有些混乱。。。

 

[oread]

Foolpan, I really hear you and feel for you. You and your wife need to make a decision together: family or career and whose career.

My husband and I were facing similar dilemma last year and after months of struggle, we jointly decided that we must be together, no matter what the cost is. Career cannot come before our family...and we started looking for jobs in other's city/area. I was ready to just quit my job after 3 months of job hunting if nothing would turn out, luckily I didn't have to do that.

Since then, we also made a decision on our future career choice: we are going to be together no matter where we go, no more separation, and if that means one of us would have to give up our career, so be it.

It's really just a matter of priority: what do you value the most?

 

[foolpan]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Foolpan, I really hear you and feel for you. You and your wife need to make a decision together: family or career and whose career.

My husband and I were facing similar dilemma last year and after months of struggle, we jointly decided that we must be together, no matter what the cost is. Career cannot come before our family...and we started looking for jobs in other's city/area. I was ready to just quit my job after 3 months of job hunting if nothing would turn out, luckily I didn't have to do that.

Since then, we also made a decision on our future career choice: we are going to be together no matter where we go, no more separation, and if that means one of us would have to give up our career, so be it.

It's really just a matter of priority: what do you value the most?

Hi,thanks a lot for your concerns. I cannot agree more on your opinions.

After reading your comments, I think now I know what the main point is. I am not care about my future career, I am not care about our future environment.I really know what my priority is while after two-year separation, I am a little bit less confident on knowing my wife as before. I am afraid of her having different ideas of mine.

Yes, what I need do is just talking more with her. I got it.

Thank you 渐渐，wish you luck, forever.

 

[wuwei]

恭喜渐渐，你们是有福的人

 

[oread]

I wish you the best of luck.

Relationships are a lot of work, and constant work. The minute you take something for granted, it comes out biting in your rear-end, so to speak.

最初由 foolpan 发布


Hi,thanks a lot for your concerns. I cannot agree more on your opinions.

After reading your comments, I think now I know what the main point is. I am not care about my future career, I am not care about our future environment.I really know what my priority is while after two-year separation, I am a little bit less confident on knowing my wife as before. I am afraid of her having different ideas of mine.

Yes, what I need do is just talking more with her. I got it.

Thank you 渐渐，wish you luck, forever.

 

[xiaomage]

Fully agree with JianJian.

Foolpan, I think sometimes making choice is rough for everyone. You've gotta find out which is more important and more precious to you.

Wish you the best luck!

 

[foolpan]

I really feel good about this place! you guys make me feel like a family.

 

[xiaomage]

Then welcome home Foolpan.

 

[apple]

here is a really nice place , all of you are so friendly!

 

[夏落]

最初由 apple 发布
here is a really nice place , all of you are so friendly!

right!

 

[兰婷]

最初由 apple 发布
here is a really nice place , all of you are so friendly!

是啊，要不然我怎么赖着不走了呢。。。。。:smoke:

 

[oread]

That's what forum should be: a place to exchange ideas and provide actual and emotional support to each other.

Welcome again!

最初由 foolpan 发布
I really feel good about this place! you guys make me feel like a family.

 

[apple]

最初由 渐渐 发布
That's what forum should be: a place to exchange ideas and provide actual and emotional support to each other.

Welcome again!

yes,exactly!i love here!

 

[xiaomage]

最初由 渐渐 发布
That's what forum should be: a place to exchange ideas and provide actual and emotional support to each other.

Welcome again!

Well said!

 

[赤练仙子]

这里都是高人，听听他们的意见没错