ZT.有关canada的真实搞笑问答

[胡同里来的人]

转帖,一个老大从真实的International Tourism Website上copy的.有的回答不太厚道,不过挺好玩的

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
Aepends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A:So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q:Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax?(UK)
A:What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure,the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q:Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Qo you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A:No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population?(Italy)
A:Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off bySpraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.


Q:I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A:Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.



Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first

 

[开喜]

听过一个类似的. 说在美国南部一个小机场, 一对老夫妻在等飞机时看见一个人孤单的坐在那里. 于是老太太鼓励她老头子去跟那个人说说话, 于是老头走过去.

美国老头问: Hi. Where are you from?

加拿大人答: Saskatoon, Saskachewan.

美国老头灰溜溜地回到老太太身边坐下, 老太太问, 怎么不跟他聊聊呢?

老头说: Nah. The guy doesn't speak English.

 

[Isabel]

某次坐飞机，机上真有一美国妇女询问加拿大是否说英语。倒。

 

[BobtheBuilder]

Hutong, you crack me up!

Talking about the ignorance of people towards Canada, I recall a TV program that I have watched 5 years ago. I believe it was on "This hour has 22 minutes" and the title was called something like "talk to Americans". A bunch of Canadian journalists went to interview Americans on the busy streets, asking questions like, "What do you think of Canada's new Prime Minister Tim Horton, compared with George Bush?", or "The Canadian Government is going to pass a Bill allowing people to kill mooses or bears on the streets of Toronto. Do you support this?", etc., etc.

Really want to dig it out and watch again. Americans are hopeless in history and geography, if not more.

 

[shusheng]

Talk to Americans 现在还健在，昨天还温习了。问题包括：

1) Canada have a 20 hour per day system, which means one Canadian Hour = 65 American Minutes, what
do you think about it?

2) The new Prime Minister of Canada is half chinese and half canadian, how do you think?

3) During vote, instead of ticket, we have a banana and leaf system. If you vote oppisit, you put a leaf in; if you vote for governement, you put a banana in; So in all these years of vote, we don't need to have a single re-count. How do you think?

....

 

[BobtheBuilder]

最初由 shusheng 发布
Talk to Americans 现在还健在，昨天还温习了。问题包括：

1) Canada have a 20 hour per day system, which means one Canadian Hour = 65 American Minutes, what
do you think about it?

2) The new Prime Minister of Canada is half chinese and half canadian, how do you think?

3) During vote, instead of ticket, we have a banana and leaf system. If you vote oppisit, you put a leaf in; if you vote for governement, you put a banana in; So in all these years of vote, we don't need to have a single re-count. How do you think?

....

That is funny!
Rick Mercer still?

 

[Teddy]

Yeah, I saw it too about the time system: one state governor congratulated Canada cheerfully after hearing "Canada is planning to adopt 24 hours time system to meet international standard."

How ignorant it is for a state governor!

 

[开喜]

Didn't George Bush once said something stupid too? when being asked by a Canadian journalist about what he thought about Canadian Prime Minster's sudden death (neither the name nor the fact was true of course). George offered his condolence. This was way before he became the President, but it was caught on tape. I believe it was Rick Mercer.

 

[BobtheBuilder]

最初由 开喜 发布
Didn't George Bush once said something stupid too? when being asked by a Canadian journalist about what he thought about Canadian Prime Minster's sudden death (neither the name nor the fact was true of course). George offered his condolence. This was way before he became the President, but it was caught on tape. I believe it was Rick Mercer.

I believe the best parts from the Feature later became a condensed one hour video (2001) called "Talking to Americans" hosted by Rick Mercer and others. In the cast list, you see George Bush and Al Gore and others playing themselves. Must be a terrific show. Gotta go find it somewhere.

 

[开喜]

很多年以前还听说过一个更斜的呢, 好像是美国靠近加拿大边境的一个小城市里的法院起诉了一名加拿大人, 原因是那个加拿大人拿着 Canadian Tire Money 在那里买东西, 居然给他买成了. 后来商店里的人起诉他. 当时报纸还报道过, 很搞笑的, 说那个加拿大人告诉人家, 这就是加拿大钱, 对方就信了. 想想也太可笑了, Canadian Tire Money (coupon, actually) 当时最大一张才一块钱, 能买些什么呀, 也值得起诉.