新年快乐，祝大家身体心灵都健康！

[沉默吧]

为了奔向50贴，今天我要努力奋斗，请大家支持！新年快乐！

WEEK AT THE GYMWARNING: This is too funny!!! I had to leave my desk several times just to stop laughing.


If you read this without laughing out-loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

 

[沉默吧]

Dear Diary:

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear.

My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

 

[沉默吧]

MONDAY:
Started my day at 6 am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess-- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!!

She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.

Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

 

[沉默吧]

TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.

I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

 

[沉默吧]

WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was okay as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.

She said some other shit too.

 

[沉默吧]

THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room.
She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

 

[沉默吧]

FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!

And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the*&%#(#&** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

 

[沉默吧]

SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

 

[沉默吧]

SUNDAY:
I'm having the church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife, will choose a gift for me that is fun --like a root canal or a vasectomy!

 

[沉默吧]

胜利在望了，还差10个贴就done了，琢磨着再找点儿什么乐子给大家过年。

 

[辣妹子]

水平低, 没看懂几个...还是up

 

[沉默吧]

水平低, 没看懂几个...还是up

你水平可不低，可能你自己是妹子，所以没感觉。从头看，一个星期之内女训练员Belinda在一个男人眼里是怎么从天使下降成魔鬼的？准备甩掉老公的MM可做参考

 

[xiaomage]

你水平可不低，可能你自己是妹子，所以没感觉。从头看，一个星期之内女训练员Belinda在一个男人眼里是怎么从天使下降成魔鬼的？准备甩掉老公的MM可做参考

read it before, but still laughed.

也适合准备甩掉老婆奔向hot MM的GG们三思.