iQuestions Faculty, Joe White
Question:
How do you teach your kids manners?
Answer:
Teaching kids manners—it may not be en vogue, but it’s always in
style.
Manners are important, because kids with manners not only someday
will know how to get a job, how to impress the CEO at the business
that they’re going to shake their hand someday, but also, kids with
manners know how to respect. They know how to respect their
teachers, they know how to respect their mom and dad.
I believe manners start in the earliest vocabulary that kids speak. The
first word we taught our kids was “puh.” “Puh” means “please.” They
can’t say “please,” but they can say “puh.”
And it can be fun, too. It’s not like you have to run a military home.
But saying “puh” and “tuh-tuh”—for “thank you”—is important. Then
kids know they can’t just have things just because they’re demanding
things, but if they have manners, they say “please” and “thank you.”
Parents, I know if it’s wearing you out teaching manners, it wore me
out, too, but now to watch my kids teaching their kids the same
manners that we taught them, it’s worth the pain. If I do something
bad in front of my kids, they pick it up the first time. Teaching them to
say “please,” and teaching them to say “thank you,” and teaching
them to stand up when a lady walks to the table—now, folks, I’m from
Texas, and if I’m getting in trouble for this, that’s okay, email
somebody else. But standing up when a lady comes to the table—my
daddy taught me that. I think honoring a woman is a lost art in this
country, but it’s not a lost art in my house, and I hope it’s not a lost
art in your house.
Manners are important. But not only are the small manners important,
but the bigger manners are important.
Let me talk to you about something really important.
When a child has an authority in their life—whether it’s a teacher, or a
coach, or a boss—and things don’t go your way, or things don’t go
your child’s way, and you want to rush in and take the position of your
child, and I know from working with kids for thirty-five years, that
your children are going to come home and tell you one side of the
story. Well, you’ve got to stand with your child, but don’t rush in and
tell the coach he’s wrong, or tell the teacher he’s wrong. If your kids
get disciplined, it may be that the coach or teacher is not 100%
correct, but let life teach your kids lessons, even if they are difficult
lessons.
Manners are learned when you support those in authority in your kids’
lives. And, parents, I know that’s hard to do, but I look back at my
daddy, who supported my teachers and coaches, and sometimes they
were really wrong. Sometimes they were really right. But he always
supported them.
And so, from my growing up years, from that example that my daddy
showed, we learned manners. Mom was the manners person at the
table, and boy we used to get mad at her when she made us put the
fork on the right, the knife on the left, the napkin at the left, the glass
on the right side of the plate, et cetera. But I’m thankful today that
she taught me those manners—pulling the chair out when she comes
to the table, opening the door for my wife.
White -2-
Little things like that are super important in my later years. We taught
them to our kids, and now they’re teaching them to our grandkids. You
keep it up, parents. You’re doing the right thing when you teach your
kids manners.
White -3-
Question:
How do you teach your kids manners?
Answer:
Teaching kids manners—it may not be en vogue, but it’s always in
style.
Manners are important, because kids with manners not only someday
will know how to get a job, how to impress the CEO at the business
that they’re going to shake their hand someday, but also, kids with
manners know how to respect. They know how to respect their
teachers, they know how to respect their mom and dad.
I believe manners start in the earliest vocabulary that kids speak. The
first word we taught our kids was “puh.” “Puh” means “please.” They
can’t say “please,” but they can say “puh.”
And it can be fun, too. It’s not like you have to run a military home.
But saying “puh” and “tuh-tuh”—for “thank you”—is important. Then
kids know they can’t just have things just because they’re demanding
things, but if they have manners, they say “please” and “thank you.”
Parents, I know if it’s wearing you out teaching manners, it wore me
out, too, but now to watch my kids teaching their kids the same
manners that we taught them, it’s worth the pain. If I do something
bad in front of my kids, they pick it up the first time. Teaching them to
say “please,” and teaching them to say “thank you,” and teaching
them to stand up when a lady walks to the table—now, folks, I’m from
Texas, and if I’m getting in trouble for this, that’s okay, email
somebody else. But standing up when a lady comes to the table—my
daddy taught me that. I think honoring a woman is a lost art in this
country, but it’s not a lost art in my house, and I hope it’s not a lost
art in your house.
Manners are important. But not only are the small manners important,
but the bigger manners are important.
Let me talk to you about something really important.
When a child has an authority in their life—whether it’s a teacher, or a
coach, or a boss—and things don’t go your way, or things don’t go
your child’s way, and you want to rush in and take the position of your
child, and I know from working with kids for thirty-five years, that
your children are going to come home and tell you one side of the
story. Well, you’ve got to stand with your child, but don’t rush in and
tell the coach he’s wrong, or tell the teacher he’s wrong. If your kids
get disciplined, it may be that the coach or teacher is not 100%
correct, but let life teach your kids lessons, even if they are difficult
lessons.
Manners are learned when you support those in authority in your kids’
lives. And, parents, I know that’s hard to do, but I look back at my
daddy, who supported my teachers and coaches, and sometimes they
were really wrong. Sometimes they were really right. But he always
supported them.
And so, from my growing up years, from that example that my daddy
showed, we learned manners. Mom was the manners person at the
table, and boy we used to get mad at her when she made us put the
fork on the right, the knife on the left, the napkin at the left, the glass
on the right side of the plate, et cetera. But I’m thankful today that
she taught me those manners—pulling the chair out when she comes
to the table, opening the door for my wife.
White -2-
Little things like that are super important in my later years. We taught
them to our kids, and now they’re teaching them to our grandkids. You
keep it up, parents. You’re doing the right thing when you teach your
kids manners.
White -3-
