[婚姻感悟] 夫妻间吵架时的五大忌讳

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[婚姻感悟] 夫妻间吵架时的五大忌讳


吵 架在一些夫妻生活中,可以说是家常便饭。有些人,三天五天吵一回,夫妻关系依然稳固;有些人吵一次架,就可能离了婚。不同年龄段,夫妻吵架的原因可能不 同。刚结婚不久的夫妻,需要接受对方及其家庭不同的生活方式、行为模式等,肯定会有摩擦;有了孩子后,如何教育和培养,双方会产生分歧;人到中年时,唠 叨、家庭琐事等都能成为导火线。尽管吵架时夫妻非常冲动,口无遮拦,但以下几点必须避免。

一忌离家出走。“甩门而出”是很多人吵完架的“招牌”动作,尤其是结婚不久的新人们。女的回娘家,男的出去喝酒等“出走”行为,都不利于解决问题。

  二忌老说“离婚”。这是中年夫妻最需忌讳的问题。中年人上有老、下有小,生活压力大,外面诱惑也多,一吵架就说离婚,很可能让对方产生负面印象,觉得谁离开谁都能活,干脆离了算了!

  三忌打击。吵架的人总爱揭短,但类似于“你这人一点本事都没有”、“当初要不是我娘家出钱买房子”等话,还是应该少说。揭伤疤是非常伤害夫妻感情的事。值得一提的是,不少人还易迁怒对方父母及家人,连着他们一起骂,这很可能“火上浇油”,引起对方不满,越吵越凶。

  四忌没完没了。有些人吵架时,恨不得把所有的问题都吵个遍,“你上次怎样怎样”常挂在嘴边,这极易把“芝麻”吵成“西瓜”,小事吵成大事,最后难以收场。

  五忌不顾孩子。孩子未满16岁以前,应尽量避免当着他的面吵。孩子对问题的认识和大人是很不一样的,频繁而激烈的争吵很可能给他们造成心理创伤,甚至心理疾病。

  实际上,对有些夫妻,吵架也是一种沟通方式。当双方在日常生活中,通过正常沟通难以解决问题时,吵架往往可以成为了解对方真实想法的一个途径。但不管 吵架时双方说话有多难听,吵得有多凶,过后一定要再沟通,真正化解双方心里的疙瘩,这也正是不少“吵架大户”越吵但感情越好的重要原因之一。为了避免严重 后果,激烈争吵时要克制自己,暂时离开“现场”,比如上个厕所、去厨房洗碗、收拾收拾屋子,给彼此一个冷静的机会。吵完之后,开个玩笑、送个小礼物、邀请 对方看场电影等都是化解之道。
 
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