转自网易社区
http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2002/022302.asp
> 不明白为什么白宫官方会以布什名义发这么个简报。大家,尤其是崇美者看看吧。原
文联接在下面，
> 不信的自己看吧。
>
> 布什总统叙述东方之行的种种教训与亮点
> 总统的新闻简报
>
> 布什：早上好，昨天下午，布什夫人与我一同从我们那令人激动的，具有深远意义
的东
> 方之旅中归来，今天，回首那异常苦闷的长达95小时，36分，23秒的同那些侏儒般
的，
> 讲话滑稽的人的友善接触，我们仍然是深受鼓舞和充满希望的。于是今天早上，我
很乐
> 于与大家分享这次具有历史意义的远东之旅中的教训与得宜。
>
> 你知道，首先，也是最重要的， 象其他所有的我去往地球偏僻角落的旅程一样，这
次
> 行程使我很受鼓舞，因为它再次验证了服务于我个人哲学体系的基础理论的真实性
，那
> 就是，众多的白人基督徒富豪掌握这个世界。你们可能已经看到了，那些古怪的小
黄人
> 摔过他们的竹子拖鞋来博取我的注意。现在，是我所描绘的数十亿的美国集团的投
资还
> 是无数A-130武装直升机喷射火焰的阴影笼罩在他们细小而扁平的头上赢得了他们的
尊
> 敬？我不知道，那肯定不是我说过的任何原因，谁知道。
>
> 我行程的第一站是可爱而令人尊敬的日本国。日本民族是优良的民族-他们发明了
kitty
> 猫，California rolls, and radiation sickness。同时，我被告之他们是重要的
盟
> 友，尽管他们的国家还大不过一个圣体节的庆祝会场。
>
> （此段关于日圆贬值，懒得翻了。）
>
> 我同样访问了南韩，我很高兴报告大家我凝视着那个恶魔，恶魔，恶魔国家北朝鲜
，并
> 且挑衅他们做点什么，但是他们不敢。我从某些地方读到，北韩没有一个"美国公民
粮
> 食权"，没有苹果派，没有红龙虾，甚至墨西哥玉米卷。恶魔怎么成这样？可是，看
来
> 一些南韩反战分子仍然恼怒与于我的State of the Union 演讲，于是我花了几分钟
告
> 诉他们五角大楼的现在真实情况，告诉他们我们不打算袭击北韩，很快，他们就买
帐
> 了。事实是，我们已准备在任何日子里将榴散弹扔到那些北韩的共产党，吃拐杖的
蠢驴
> 头上了。（欢呼，鼓掌声）
>
> 最后，我到达了中国，好象回到了我年轻时冲动的，散发的呕吐气味的啤酒沫的旅
程。
> 中国和我年轻时记忆中一样的巨大，发臭和污秽不堪。（接着一句是布什的"幽默"
，
> 涉及70年代，不翻了）
>
> （接着这段对江泽民有戏谑的话，不想翻。大意讲了两人讲了很多废话，但布什的
目的
是要中国给他的反恐战争一个背书（明确的支持）。以此为交换条件，美国可以对中
国
卖武器给恐怖主义国家、导弹工厂的未成年奴隶、对美国间谍飞机成员的自杀性折磨
等
睁只眼闭只眼。）
我在中国的最后一天，对一些大学生讲话 ，我故意将"great wall of china" 讲成
"gleat warr of china" 他们居然没明白过来。你看，东方人居然不能念出他们的"
r's"的音，heh-heh, 愚蠢滑稽的东方人。把这些黄种农夫中的一个弄一个回我在克
劳
福德的大农场，我要拿手杖追着他满地跑，戳他，并让他睡到小牛圈里。heh-heh, 我
在开玩笑，不过，那不是很酷吗最后，让我提示一下，这次行程留给我以希望，因为
它向我证实了美国价值-象是同类
相食的贪婪和圣经裹尸布遮掩下的伪善，一定会战胜那些在剥削自己尿色皮肤的同胞
们
的富裕而腐败的东方人的心。
感谢你们，上帝保佑。
翻译：Alan.
这是白宫原文联接
PRESIDENT BUSH RECOUNTS MYRIAD LESSONS AND HIGHLIGHTS OF HIS ORIENTAL TOUR
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Bush and I returned
from our intensely meaningful vacation to the Oriental nations. Today,
looking back on the agonizingly long 95 hours, 36 minutes, and 23 seconds
we were required to fraternize with dwarfish, funny-talking mathletes, we
are nevertheless invigorated and hopeful. And so this morning, I'd like to
share some of the highlights and lessons of our profoundly historic Far
East journey.
You know, first and foremost, I find myself invigorated by this trip for
the same reason I am by all my trips to inferior corners of the earth -
because it reaffirms the fundamental truism that serves as the basis for my
personal philosophy: multi-millionaire white Christian males have the world
by the nutsack. You should have seen those squirrely litle yellow folks
falling over their bamboo slippers to impress me! Now whether it was the
billions in American corporate investment I represent, or the omnipresent
spectre of A-130 gunships raining fiery lead down on their tiny flat heads
that earned their respect, I don't know. It sure wasn't anything I said.
Who knows. Maybe Asia isn't quite so backwards as country club wisdom says,
after all.
The first stop on my tour was to the adorable nation of Japan. The Japanese
people are a fine people ?they invented Hello Kitty, California rolls, and
radiation sickness. Also, I'm told they are an important ally - despite the
fact that their so-called country isn't much bigger than a Corpus Christi
hodown.
Did you read about how the Yen plummeted after I said something about
currency? Let's be honest and talk plainly ?is there really a difference
between devaluation and deflation? They both mean "Money Bad Time." I mean,
come on. It's a damned good thing I didn't say "LOOK OUT! GODZILLA COMING -
AND HE VERY ANGRY!" Whole damn country would have broken out their little
toy tanks and rocket launchers!
I also visited South Korea, and I am happy to report that I stared into the
evil, evil, EVIL country of North Korea and dared them to start something.
But they didn't. I read somewhere that North Korea doesn't have ONE
American food franchise. No Applebies, or Red Lobsters, or even Taco Bells.
How evil is that? Seems some South Korean spazz-o peaceniks were still
riled up about my State of the Union speech though, so I took a few minutes
to tell them about the Pentagon's current version of reality, which says
that we are NOT going to invade North Korea. Fortuantely, they bought it.
Truth is, we're going to start dropping fistsful of shrapnel up those
Commie, stick-eating fruicakes' gook asses any day now. (Applause.)
Finally I arrived in China, which in a way was a trip back to my younger
days of bloody noses and vomiting beer foam. China is as big, smelly and
filthy as I remember it being as a young man traveling abroad. And speaking
of broads: when I was in China in the 1970's, I secretly courted four or
eight of those Maoist foxes and well - let's just say that all those rumors
about what direction their boxes smile are completely false. Heh-heh. That
was an example of my folksy, charming, and refreshing sense of humor -
which I can turn on and off without even one sip of cold, relaxing beer.
I talked a lot with the Chinese President Guy ?my nickname for him was
President Jiang the Chicken Wiang. Anyway, we ate a lot of number 13,
number 5, and number 24 and talked about important things like free speech
and religion and blah blah blah. But what I really wanted from him was a
lukewarm endorsement of my War on Terror, thus strengthening the Noble
Smokescreen that allows my administration to take its Rich Guy Domestic
Agenda and jam it down the throats of every last pansy Democrat in
Congress. In exchange for this endorsement, the US will turn a blind eye to
China's weapons sales to terrorist states, child slavery in Nike factories,
suicidal harassments of US spy planes, and the rampant mass executions and
organ harvesting of Falun Gong cultists.
During my last days in China I spoke with University students who didn't
even "get" it when I referred to the Great Wall of China as the "Gleat Warr
of China." You see - Orientals can't pronounce their "R's." Heh-heh.
Stupid, funny Orientals. What I wouldn't give to have one of those yellow
fellahs back at my ranch in Crawford. I'd chase him around with a stick and
poke at him and make him sleep in a veal pen! Heh-heh. Naw, I? kidding.
But wouldn't that be cool?
Lastly, let me state that this trip left me hopeful because it proved to me
that American values ?like cannibalistic greed and flag-and-bible shrouded
hypocrisy, can and will win the hearts of corrupt and wealthy Orientals
looking to exploit their billions of urine-colored brethren.
Thank you, and God Bless.
http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2002/022302.asp
> 不明白为什么白宫官方会以布什名义发这么个简报。大家,尤其是崇美者看看吧。原
文联接在下面，
> 不信的自己看吧。
>
> 布什总统叙述东方之行的种种教训与亮点
> 总统的新闻简报
>
> 布什：早上好，昨天下午，布什夫人与我一同从我们那令人激动的，具有深远意义
的东
> 方之旅中归来，今天，回首那异常苦闷的长达95小时，36分，23秒的同那些侏儒般
的，
> 讲话滑稽的人的友善接触，我们仍然是深受鼓舞和充满希望的。于是今天早上，我
很乐
> 于与大家分享这次具有历史意义的远东之旅中的教训与得宜。
>
> 你知道，首先，也是最重要的， 象其他所有的我去往地球偏僻角落的旅程一样，这
次
> 行程使我很受鼓舞，因为它再次验证了服务于我个人哲学体系的基础理论的真实性
，那
> 就是，众多的白人基督徒富豪掌握这个世界。你们可能已经看到了，那些古怪的小
黄人
> 摔过他们的竹子拖鞋来博取我的注意。现在，是我所描绘的数十亿的美国集团的投
资还
> 是无数A-130武装直升机喷射火焰的阴影笼罩在他们细小而扁平的头上赢得了他们的
尊
> 敬？我不知道，那肯定不是我说过的任何原因，谁知道。
>
> 我行程的第一站是可爱而令人尊敬的日本国。日本民族是优良的民族-他们发明了
kitty
> 猫，California rolls, and radiation sickness。同时，我被告之他们是重要的
盟
> 友，尽管他们的国家还大不过一个圣体节的庆祝会场。
>
> （此段关于日圆贬值，懒得翻了。）
>
> 我同样访问了南韩，我很高兴报告大家我凝视着那个恶魔，恶魔，恶魔国家北朝鲜
，并
> 且挑衅他们做点什么，但是他们不敢。我从某些地方读到，北韩没有一个"美国公民
粮
> 食权"，没有苹果派，没有红龙虾，甚至墨西哥玉米卷。恶魔怎么成这样？可是，看
来
> 一些南韩反战分子仍然恼怒与于我的State of the Union 演讲，于是我花了几分钟
告
> 诉他们五角大楼的现在真实情况，告诉他们我们不打算袭击北韩，很快，他们就买
帐
> 了。事实是，我们已准备在任何日子里将榴散弹扔到那些北韩的共产党，吃拐杖的
蠢驴
> 头上了。（欢呼，鼓掌声）
>
> 最后，我到达了中国，好象回到了我年轻时冲动的，散发的呕吐气味的啤酒沫的旅
程。
> 中国和我年轻时记忆中一样的巨大，发臭和污秽不堪。（接着一句是布什的"幽默"
，
> 涉及70年代，不翻了）
>
> （接着这段对江泽民有戏谑的话，不想翻。大意讲了两人讲了很多废话，但布什的
目的
是要中国给他的反恐战争一个背书（明确的支持）。以此为交换条件，美国可以对中
国
卖武器给恐怖主义国家、导弹工厂的未成年奴隶、对美国间谍飞机成员的自杀性折磨
等
睁只眼闭只眼。）
我在中国的最后一天，对一些大学生讲话 ，我故意将"great wall of china" 讲成
"gleat warr of china" 他们居然没明白过来。你看，东方人居然不能念出他们的"
r's"的音，heh-heh, 愚蠢滑稽的东方人。把这些黄种农夫中的一个弄一个回我在克
劳
福德的大农场，我要拿手杖追着他满地跑，戳他，并让他睡到小牛圈里。heh-heh, 我
在开玩笑，不过，那不是很酷吗最后，让我提示一下，这次行程留给我以希望，因为
它向我证实了美国价值-象是同类
相食的贪婪和圣经裹尸布遮掩下的伪善，一定会战胜那些在剥削自己尿色皮肤的同胞
们
的富裕而腐败的东方人的心。
感谢你们，上帝保佑。
翻译：Alan.
这是白宫原文联接
PRESIDENT BUSH RECOUNTS MYRIAD LESSONS AND HIGHLIGHTS OF HIS ORIENTAL TOUR
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Bush and I returned
from our intensely meaningful vacation to the Oriental nations. Today,
looking back on the agonizingly long 95 hours, 36 minutes, and 23 seconds
we were required to fraternize with dwarfish, funny-talking mathletes, we
are nevertheless invigorated and hopeful. And so this morning, I'd like to
share some of the highlights and lessons of our profoundly historic Far
East journey.
You know, first and foremost, I find myself invigorated by this trip for
the same reason I am by all my trips to inferior corners of the earth -
because it reaffirms the fundamental truism that serves as the basis for my
personal philosophy: multi-millionaire white Christian males have the world
by the nutsack. You should have seen those squirrely litle yellow folks
falling over their bamboo slippers to impress me! Now whether it was the
billions in American corporate investment I represent, or the omnipresent
spectre of A-130 gunships raining fiery lead down on their tiny flat heads
that earned their respect, I don't know. It sure wasn't anything I said.
Who knows. Maybe Asia isn't quite so backwards as country club wisdom says,
after all.
The first stop on my tour was to the adorable nation of Japan. The Japanese
people are a fine people ?they invented Hello Kitty, California rolls, and
radiation sickness. Also, I'm told they are an important ally - despite the
fact that their so-called country isn't much bigger than a Corpus Christi
hodown.
Did you read about how the Yen plummeted after I said something about
currency? Let's be honest and talk plainly ?is there really a difference
between devaluation and deflation? They both mean "Money Bad Time." I mean,
come on. It's a damned good thing I didn't say "LOOK OUT! GODZILLA COMING -
AND HE VERY ANGRY!" Whole damn country would have broken out their little
toy tanks and rocket launchers!
I also visited South Korea, and I am happy to report that I stared into the
evil, evil, EVIL country of North Korea and dared them to start something.
But they didn't. I read somewhere that North Korea doesn't have ONE
American food franchise. No Applebies, or Red Lobsters, or even Taco Bells.
How evil is that? Seems some South Korean spazz-o peaceniks were still
riled up about my State of the Union speech though, so I took a few minutes
to tell them about the Pentagon's current version of reality, which says
that we are NOT going to invade North Korea. Fortuantely, they bought it.
Truth is, we're going to start dropping fistsful of shrapnel up those
Commie, stick-eating fruicakes' gook asses any day now. (Applause.)
Finally I arrived in China, which in a way was a trip back to my younger
days of bloody noses and vomiting beer foam. China is as big, smelly and
filthy as I remember it being as a young man traveling abroad. And speaking
of broads: when I was in China in the 1970's, I secretly courted four or
eight of those Maoist foxes and well - let's just say that all those rumors
about what direction their boxes smile are completely false. Heh-heh. That
was an example of my folksy, charming, and refreshing sense of humor -
which I can turn on and off without even one sip of cold, relaxing beer.
I talked a lot with the Chinese President Guy ?my nickname for him was
President Jiang the Chicken Wiang. Anyway, we ate a lot of number 13,
number 5, and number 24 and talked about important things like free speech
and religion and blah blah blah. But what I really wanted from him was a
lukewarm endorsement of my War on Terror, thus strengthening the Noble
Smokescreen that allows my administration to take its Rich Guy Domestic
Agenda and jam it down the throats of every last pansy Democrat in
Congress. In exchange for this endorsement, the US will turn a blind eye to
China's weapons sales to terrorist states, child slavery in Nike factories,
suicidal harassments of US spy planes, and the rampant mass executions and
organ harvesting of Falun Gong cultists.
During my last days in China I spoke with University students who didn't
even "get" it when I referred to the Great Wall of China as the "Gleat Warr
of China." You see - Orientals can't pronounce their "R's." Heh-heh.
Stupid, funny Orientals. What I wouldn't give to have one of those yellow
fellahs back at my ranch in Crawford. I'd chase him around with a stick and
poke at him and make him sleep in a veal pen! Heh-heh. Naw, I? kidding.
But wouldn't that be cool?
Lastly, let me state that this trip left me hopeful because it proved to me
that American values ?like cannibalistic greed and flag-and-bible shrouded
hypocrisy, can and will win the hearts of corrupt and wealthy Orientals
looking to exploit their billions of urine-colored brethren.
Thank you, and God Bless.
