"A-A" between a couple

[yh_abc]

Just wondering what you guys/gals think of the most problematic issue between a couple ?
I have friends who have a kind of 'A-A' system in their families, and it works pretty well.
To me, it seems the freedom of doing things your way is the most troublesome in the family and this freedom, no doubt, has more than often to do with finance, for example, a husband wants to buy something while a wife wants to give more cash to her family.
So because of this "freedom" issue, it seems "A-A" is a good practice, of course "A-A' does not necessiarily mean a husbadn contribute 100 dollar to the family and the wife matches exactly the same amount, it just means a husband pay 30% of his income while the wife pay her 30% income (let's assume both have regular income to make things simple)
Any idea to share ?

 

[阿搜]

for bf and gf, AA is for sure.

 

[oread]

商量着过日子吧。

 

[yh_abc]

最初由 迷迭香 发布
商量着过日子吧。

Without a fair system, it is not even easy to 商量. That's why we promote "Manage a country by law instead of moral standard". In another word, all those preferred moral standards are already defined in the "governing laws".:blowzy: :blowzy:

 

[情人泪]

谁行。谁就多出点好了。

 

[??]

就我?人?真不大接受夫妻殓的AA制,?迂得夫妻?是最尤的了,如果?得"尤兄弟,明算?"就太??了.

但如果腽方都迂得此法可行,又都?有??感迂的?就??铨了.

 

[oread]

过日子跟治国还是有区别的吧？
夫妻间分得太清显得陌生，也就不象夫妻了。不过这只是我个人的看法。不少老外分得清清楚楚过得也挺好。我是觉得，如果连枕边人都不能相信，不如自己过日子算了。

最初由 yh_abc 发布

Without a fair system, it is not even easy to 商量. That's why we promote "Manage a country by law instead of moral standard". In another word, all those preferred moral standards are already defined in the "governing laws".:blowzy: :blowzy:

 

[yh_abc]

最初由 ?? 发布
就我?人?真不大接受夫妻殓的AA制,?迂得夫妻?是最尤的了,如果?得"尤兄弟,明算?"就太??了.

I think this topic is a little bit same as "asset notarization" before marriage in some respects. It is not easy to accept but there is some goodie stuff ... , right?

 

[oread]

别把钱太当回事，所有问题也就好解决了。

 

[root]

其实问题总出在双方的亲戚关系上，比如父母兄弟姊妹等，如果一对夫妻是其亲戚当中最没本事的，谁也不指望他们，那他们可能会比较幸福。夫妻之间常为双方亲情之间的分配不公闹矛盾，太常见。

 

[oread]

还是钱。

 

[yh_abc]

最初由 root 发布
其实问题总出在双方的亲戚关系上，比如父母兄弟姊妹等，如果一对夫妻是其亲戚当中最没本事的，谁也不指望他们，那他们可能会比较幸福。夫妻之间常为双方亲情之间的分配不公闹矛盾，太常见。

 

[yh_abc]

最初由 迷迭香 发布
还是钱。

I absolutely agree that "Money is not everything", but lots of activities cannot be done without money, and these activities may even include things like your (children's) own education, your vacation, your social communication with your friends, blah, blah.... the list can go on and on...
so with this in mind, personally I cannot find a better solution other than "A-A" between a couple.

 

[oread]

不，你没懂我的意思。很多家庭矛盾归根结底都是因为钱，但AA并不是解药。容忍信任才是。

 

[yh_abc]

Yes, A-A is not a perfect solution but it is at least a reasonable solution. It will prevent one party to 'take advantage of' another. (Do not deny that there are quite a few married people who treat their husbands / wives as 2nd class members comparing to their immediate parents )
It will also make both parties to realize each's responsibility in terms of each's proportional contribution to their own family.
It is really a tough topic for a couple unless both can have the same kind of understandings.