纳税人有义务养活一个政党吗？
- 主题发起人 quyi
- 开始时间
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. Soon you have more cows then you know what to do with. You put half the cows in a trust fund for under-priviledged children and then buy most of Arizona and irrigate all of the deserts. Life is good.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN CALIFORNIAN: You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.
CAPITALISM, BRAZIL: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
CAPITALISM, DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
CAPITALISM, ENRON: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. Wall Street analysts rate you a strong buy. The public buys your bull.
CAPITALISM, HONG KONG: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
CAPITALISM, INDUSTRIAL: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.
CAPITALISM, INTERVENTIONIST: You have two cows. you sell one and buy a bull; you then sell all the excess milk to the government who in turn ships it to fascist and communist governments.
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，
CAPITALISM, JAPANESE: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Almost all graduated in the top 10 percent of their class.You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
CAPITALISM, LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CAPITALISM, REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You think he should get a job.
CAPITALISM, RICH: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
CAPITALISM, POOR: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
CAPITALISM, SWEDISH: You have two cows. You bought them from IKEA and assembled them yourself (it was cheaper). The Volvo cows last a lot longer but don't look as trendy.
CAPITALISM, SWISS: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one.
CAPITALISM, WALL STREET 1: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.
CAPITALISM, WALL STREET 2: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows to increase your share price on the stock market. You get Anderson to audit your business. You loose your business and you loose your cows.
CENTRALISM: You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISM 1: You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.
CONSERVATIVISM 2: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，COMMUNISM 1: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
COMMUNISM 2: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.
COMMUNISM 3: You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives you a little milk ... once.
COMMUNISM 4: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
COMMUNISM, CAMBODIAN 1: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
COMMUNISM, CAMBODIAN 2: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM, CHINESE 1: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
COMMUNISM, CHINESE 2: You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).
COMMUNISM, CUBAN 1: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.
COMMUNISM, CUBAN 2: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
COMMUNISM, MAO 1: You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.
COMMUNISM, MAO 2: You have two bulls. Several people are killed while attempting to milk them.
COMMUNISM, MODERN CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM, CASTRO: Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder," works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.
COMMUNISM, PURE 1: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM, PURE 2: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.
COMMUNISM, IDEALIZED: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
COMMUNISM, RUSSIAN 1: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.
COMMUNISM - RUSSIAN 2: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
COMMUNISM, RUSSIAN 3: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
COMMUNISM, RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows, open another bottle of vodka, and instead decide to focus on how many apples you are holding in your hands.
COMMUNISM, REALITY: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
COMMUNISM, BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
COMMUNISM, POLISH: You have two cows. You take care of them and milk them. The government takes the milk rations half of it to you and sends the rest of it to Russia. Then the government pretends that there is a milk shortage and issues ration coupons, causing a complex bureaucracy to form.
COMMUNISM, STALIN: You have two cows. You are shot as a counter-revolutionary. The cows are put in the Gulag. The milk? What milk? Who are you, and why are you asking about milk, Comrade?
COMMUNISM, LENIN: You have two cows. You are shot as a counter-revolutionary. The cows are also shot as counter- revolutionary. The Proletariat gets the milk, but refuses to drink such petit bourgeois liquids.
COOPERATION: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you have to sell both. Your tax is used to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was originally one of yours, a free gift from your government.
COUNTER-CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.
CHRISTIAN-DEMOCRATISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Then you covet it.
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，
DEMOCRACY, FLORIDA: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.
DEMOCRACY, REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors vote for someone to tell you who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY, PARLIAMENTARY: You have two cows. Politicians decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY, SINGAPEOREAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
DICTATORSHIP, IDEALIZED: You have two cows. The government orders you to drink their milk.
DICTATORSHIP, REALITY: You have two cows. The government orders you to shoot them.
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，
DEMOCRACY, BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，
DEMOCRACY 1: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY 2: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.
DEMOCRACY 3: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN 1: The government pomises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the presisent is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate."
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN 2: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.
最初由 wushuren 发布
按照牛克思主义，
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances, including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section 4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and balances mentioned above.
