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Seriously, who thought a fat, bearded man who flies around in a sleigh and carries a big bag of who-knows-what was a good idea?
- Santa shouldn't have quit his day job.
Submitted by: beernbiccies - He's always watching.
Submitted by: Unknown - Even when he's wasted.
Submitted by: Barbara - Okay, maybe he's not watching ALL the time...
Submitted by: Unknown - He can be an emotional drunk.
Submitted by: Unknown - And he should stay off of Facebook.
Submitted by: Unknown - He also plays favorites.
Submitted by: Unknown - And kids shouldn't follow his example.
Submitted by: Unknown - Or else they'll grow to look like this.
Submitted by: Iora Glass - Or this.
Submitted by: psyper - Or this.
Submitted by: Unknown (via Absolutely Madness) - Santa also enjoys taxidermy.
Submitted by: Unknown (via Reddit)
Or as I like to call it, "creative reindeer recycling." - Sometimes he can fly a bit too low.
Submitted by: Unknown - "Kid... you're making me real nervous."
Submitted by: Unknown - "I just... I dunno man. Like, what's the point of being so jolly all the time?"
Submitted by: Unknown (via Reddit)
Emo Santa has a sad. - A big, warm pile of Christmas!
Submitted by: xyzpdq1 - "RUDOLPH, GUIDE MY SLEIGH TONIGHT, DAMMIT!"
Submitted by: Unknown - "Santa's got some unpaid parking tickets for his sleigh..."
Submitted by: Unknown - Somebody was extra naughty this year.
Submitted by: Unknown - "I'm not even crying. We've passed that point on the terror scale."
Submitted by: Unknown - The spiked eggnog isn't the only thing Santa's hit too hard...
Submitted by: Unknown - Santa's feeling EXTRA jolly!
Submitted by: Unknown - But no matter how jolly he's feeling, keep your hands off his beard.
Submitted by: Unknown - OR ELSE!
Submitted by: Unknown (via The Spartan Warrior) - But he's still no match for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Submitted by: Unknown (via Old School Wrestling)