Just a thought

[顺其自然]

I don't know how the thought came up again and it really freaked me out. A person is just a lonely identity in the world and it is a curse --no matter where you are, what you are doing, the loneliness will never leave you. So feeling sad, very sad....Sometimes, I just wanted to cry for maybe emptyness in my heart. I thought I found something I wanted here. So in these days, even though life was still hard, I never felt really sad or more exactly desperate. One morning I woke up and said to myself: At least I know now what I really want and I am working hard for it. It was amazing how some thing could affect your mood. However, that scary thought still shows up once in a while and at that time, I just wanted to give up everything and be alone (I almost thought that was my fate and since it is my fate, why should I struggle and fight against it)

I watched "Love Actually". That was a great movie with happy endings. Can you believe that? After so many dififculties, love could still be there and people could still get together. I am not sure whether the real world is like this. I sometimes just wonder how love can actually last. Scientists said it was because of certain chemicals in people's bodies that love can not last. After all, people are just living creatures in the world like anything else.....maybe....