精华 [闲聊] [教学] Let Kids be Kids?

[shusheng]

最初由 渐渐 发布
When I was in elementary school, anything other than a perfect 100 is a failure to my mother. Even when I got 99.5, she'd ask: "What was that .5 deduction for?", or "You should have been more careful".

Are you surprised at all? All sounds familiar?

Is it all about her "attitude"?

If she said "Great! You are doing very well. What was that .5 deduction for?" and everything would be good?

 

[oread]

Yes it it about her attitude, but it's not all.

 

[lazy susan]

It is really hard to say which is better. As a mom, I want to give my kids the best as far as I can afford and I think most moms would think the same. The question is 'is that what they want?'

I have a great mom, or maybe I was pretty dumb, so I didn't sense all the attitude. I guess it's not true at least for all that 'a child's way of thinking is actually formed at a very young age'. My mom always says I was a 'test machine', so I guess I was. So for 11 years, I follow whatever my teacher told me and didn't feel any trouble. So the result is that I didn't know how to learn till I almost graduate from the university. Do you say it's too late? I wouldn't think so.

When I was young, I felt happy being fed as a duck and I think it's a quite efficient way.

For small children, we need to feed them at the beginning and later let them choose what they want when they have the ability. Always easy to say and hard to do.

I always want my children to be able to at least speak chinese, so I didn't expose my first son to English till he was 2.5 years old. He is in Gr.1 this year and he complains he couldn't understand what teacher's saying. Now my mom starts to criticize me that I put my son into trouble. She said no matter where you're, just bland in. If he can speak chinese, that's bonus, if can't that's fate. Now I am hesitating whether I want to do the same to my second. My neighbour is offering baby sitting him, but I am thinking about finding a chinese speaking person and my mom is trying to convince me to give my 1-year-old to my neighbour...

Sometime, I even think coming to canada is a big mistake. Maybe my son is just as dumb as I am and needs to get fed.

 

[oread]

Why would you diagree? Give us some examples, I'm very curious. Are you saying that your way of thinking is not bounded by 11 years of duck feeding technique?

Feel free to share your thoughts, your own experience and anything else that's on your mind.

最初由 lazy susan 发布
I have a great mom, or maybe I was pretty dumb, so I didn't sense all the attitude. I guess it's not true at least for all that 'a child's way of thinking is actually formed at a very young age'. My mom always says I was a 'test machine', so I guess I was. So for 11 years, I follow whatever my teacher told me and didn't feel any trouble. So the result is that I didn't know how to learn till I almost graduate from the university. Do you say it's too late? I wouldn't think so.

 

[oread]

Maybe our definition of 思维方式 is different.

"至少对我本人而言，到现在，都在学习和‘改进’自己的思维方式。" -- what you may change or improve is your method to approach a problem, your "way of thinking" is formed long before you actually realize it.

Imagine you were TOLD repeatedly that a dog has 4 legs, sharp teeth and it barks, and when you see an animal with 4 legs, sharp teeth and barking, you'd automatically assume that it's a dog. It's an extreme example, used only to demonstrate the effect of strict, homogeneous duck-feeding training.

 

[oread]

最初由 lazy susan 发布
She said no matter where you're, just bland in. If he can speak chinese, that's bonus, if can't that's fate.

Your mother is a great woman, she has a wonderful attitude!

Ever so often we force our own goals onto our children, hoping to accomplish our dreams that were otherwise unattained. Your mother is a rare exception: she actually puts a child's benefits above her own purpose.

 

[oread]

最初由 丫丫 发布
Okay, guess I luckly did not being duck fed while I was little, or that fed, should I ever get any, was totally discharge right after.

:smokin::smokin:

 

[lazy susan]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Why would you diagree? Give us some examples, I'm very curious. Are you saying that your way of thinking is not bounded by 11 years of duck feeding technique?

Feel free to share your thoughts, your own experience and anything else that's on your mind.

I guess my 'way of thinking' should be influenced but not bounded by 11-year-fed. But you're who you're, when there's a chance you get free, you still can fly. But I think 11 years is a bit long.

That's why I am thinking for small kids, when they're young, it's ok to feed them, but we should give them the chance to let them go.

 

[oread]

Interesting point!
Are geniuses not taught? In other words, can we produce geniuses?

最初由 lazy susan 发布


But you're who you're

 

[lazy susan]

最初由 丫丫 发布

Are you sure he was talking about he could not understand the teacher's English? or maybe he does not understand what the teacher's instruction itself? I don't think he could not understand the teacher's language after being exposed to English environment for more than 3 years, sorry, I just don't believe it.
What if your son started to have Franch class? Would you put him in to that even bigger trouble, which your Mom may consider it as?

I didn't believe it either. But everyday I asked him what he learned and what the teacher said at school, he didn't remember and sometime he added he couldn't understand. I even talked to his teacher last year when he was in SK, she said he was responding OK. But who knows.

For over a year, I didn't know they had French class until I got the report from the teacher saying he never listened to the teacher in French class.

Should I be worried? Sure, Anything I need to do? not sure.

 

[lazy susan]

最初由 丫丫 发布

I admire her Mom too, she does not care should she be able to communicate with her grandson. She is a great grandmother who accept her grandson as bonus:smokin:


Oh, don't tell me your Mom speakes better English than your son's teachers do, Lazy Susan

No, she doesn't speak English.

 

[super7]

Whatever you do, just try to encourage your kids to learn Chinese

At home, Chinese should be highly encouraged. Otherwise, you will really lose your kid/s to Canada. don't worry about his English or French.

 

[oread]

Does she speak alien language?

Just kidding. Where did you take that good mother/bad mother test?

最初由 lazy susan 发布


No, she doesn't speak English.

 

[lazy susan]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Does she speak alien language?

Just kidding. Where did you take that good mother/bad mother test?

Frankly, I don't remember. That was about two year ago, at that time, the first thing I got to work is , ottawacitizen.com, msn.ca and msn.com, so I guess it was either on msn.ca or .com, they have all sorts of quiz. But I don't go there anymore, since I am here

 

[oread]

What were the criteria of being a good/bad mother?