没有别的，只有失望

[oread]

As a woman, I don't doubt that I have my own prejudices. I have heard and personally met a few survivors of family abuse in my life, they share some astounding feelings of despair:

-they all feel that they have nowhere else to go
-their self-esteem is very little to none
-years of verbal or mental abuse are more devastating than the actual physical abuse
-they often fear that their life or the lives of their children are in danger
-justice system provide little to none support for them, and no one, they firmly believe that NO ONE is going to help them.

 

[visitor]

最初由 chef 发布
TO:渐渐
我知道你不喜欢听我讲话,但对这句话我跟你有同感.

"There are always people who are too quick to jump to conclusions or too quick to judge, is it part of the Chinese tradition and culture too?"

在中国传统文化里，这可以被正面地论述为"疾恶如仇"，我正在想反面的论述。

 

[kool]

最初由 渐渐 发布
As a woman, I don't doubt that I have my own prejudices. I have heard and personally met a few survivors of family abuse in my life, they share some astounding feelings of despair:

-they all feel that they have nowhere else to go
-their self-esteem is very little to none
-years of verbal or mental abuse are more devastating than the actual physical abuse
-they often fear that their life or the lives of their children are in danger
-justice system provide little to none support for them, and no one, they firmly believe that NO ONE is going to help them.

Basiclly u try to say>>> they NEED help! i try to follow ur logic, u said eailer<<you can't help people who don't want to help themselves.>>

i really don't understand all ur points here.

try to help them or not to help??

 

[SUPER&ME]

最初由 visitor 发布


在中国传统文化里，这可以被正面地论述为"疾恶如仇"，我正在想反面的论述。

就甭逗他们了,我们也是历经文化撞击过来的人.这一点,我深有同感.

 

[nova]

最初由 渐渐 发布
As a woman, I don't doubt that I have my own prejudices. I have heard and personally met a few survivors of family abuse in my life, they share some astounding feelings of despair:

-they all feel that they have nowhere else to go
-their self-esteem is very little to none
-years of verbal or mental abuse are more devastating than the actual physical abuse
-they often fear that their life or the lives of their children are in danger
-justice system provide little to none support for them, and no one, they firmly believe that NO ONE is going to help them.

This is exactly what the "depression" or "mental problem" is defined. If anyone suffered such problem, why doesn't he/she see the doctor but fight in home instead?

 

[一把手]

最初由 nova 发布


This is exactly what the "depression" or "mental problem" is defined. If anyone suffered such problem, why doesn't he/she see the doctor but fight in home instead?

Because the root cause is at home. Her family doctor doesn't help.

 

[oread]

最初由 msft 发布


Because the root cause is at home. Her family doctor doesn't help.

Bingo!

 

[oread]

I think I've made my points abundantly clear. Guess you are not as smart as you think you are.

最初由 kool 发布


Basiclly u try to say>>> they NEED help! i try to follow ur logic, u said eailer<<you can't help people who don't want to help themselves.>>

i really don't understand all ur points here.

try to help them or not to help??

 

[oread]

Your term for "mental problem" is too loose, there are tons of mental problems. The symptoms of abuse may be similar to depression, but the root cause is different. Battered women were MADE to believe that they are worthless, through YEARS of mental and physical abuse.

However this may not be the case of family abuse. Like I said, I have my own prejudice, I realize that, so let's wait for more details to surface.

BTW, although some cultures are more abusive than others, but family abuse spans beyond cultures in the sense that abused women share similar experiences and emotional scars.

最初由 nova 发布


This is exactly what the "depression" or "mental problem" is defined. If anyone suffered such problem, why doesn't he/she see the doctor but fight in home instead?

 

[nova]

最初由 msft 发布


Because the root cause is at home. Her family doctor doesn't help.

Disagree. The depression could be caused many reasons and many ways. The wife usually turn to fight her husband whenever she is under depression. The point is to see the specialist (definitely not a family doctor) to find out the real reason, not just blame her husband.

 

[nova]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Your term for "mental problem" is too loose, there are tons of mental problems. The symptoms of abuse may be similar to depression, but the root cause is different. Battered women were MADE to believe that they are worthless, through YEARS of mental and physical abuse.

However this may not be the case of family abuse. Like I said, I have my own prejudice, I realize that, so let's wait for more details to surface.

BTW, although some cultures are more abusive than others, but family abuse spans beyond cultures in the sense that abused women share similar experiences and emotional scars.

I never heard a single case of real home abuse in the new immigrant community. Most of the new immigrants are well educated. But if someone use the 911 as a weapon to against the other party in a case of arguing, then the family will turn into trouble. I think this is the most cases happened here.

 

[oread]

Careful, you are assuming now. I was assuming too, but I KNOW I was assuming.

最初由 nova 发布


Disagree. The depression could be caused many reasons and many ways. The wife usually turn to fight her husband whenever she is under depression. The point is to see the specialist (definitely not a family doctor) to find out the real reason, not just blame her husband.

 

[colonel]

咱们就不要再讨论了，人家现在最需要的帮助就是有哪一位勇敢的义无反顾的和她结婚就行了，这还看不出来吗？

 

[colonel]

想知道谁对谁错，就看这位男士有没有又被抓就知道了，就是不知道有没有人愿意试。

 

[Wanderer]

千呼万唤不出来，只好随它去吧。

不太了解加拿大的法律，不知在警察局留有“家庭暴力”案底的人将来不能做什么工作？