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陷入婚外情，怎么办？
- 主题发起人 玫瑰花茶2
- 开始时间
- 状态
- 不接受进一步回复。
ChinaBride
新手上路
- 注册
- 2005-08-11
- 消息
- 22
- 荣誉分数
- 0
- 声望点数
- 0
My Point
I don't think it's a good idea to let his wife know the story. His wife is victim too. You are hurting both her and him. You are very selfish! You are thinking of yourself. Have you ever been thinking of his wife and kids in China? It's nothing to do with his wife. It is HIM who is making decisions. He doesn't want to get divoiced for you. There must have some solid reasons behind this. There must have some solid connections between him and his family, that he can not get rid of easily. He HAS his reasons. Talk, talk, talk.. with him. Communication is the way to the solution. I beliver he loves you, but not strong enough. Don't give up so easily before you are making effort to understand him, because you love him.
It would never be too late to give him up before you have tried.
Cheers,
I don't think it's a good idea to let his wife know the story. His wife is victim too. You are hurting both her and him. You are very selfish! You are thinking of yourself. Have you ever been thinking of his wife and kids in China? It's nothing to do with his wife. It is HIM who is making decisions. He doesn't want to get divoiced for you. There must have some solid reasons behind this. There must have some solid connections between him and his family, that he can not get rid of easily. He HAS his reasons. Talk, talk, talk.. with him. Communication is the way to the solution. I beliver he loves you, but not strong enough. Don't give up so easily before you are making effort to understand him, because you love him.
It would never be too late to give him up before you have tried.
Cheers,
最初由 玫瑰花茶2 发布
他想做孩子的父亲，却没有想过给孩子一个完整的家。如果是因为孩子的需要而结合，里面包含的是勉强，这不是我想要的结果。而且，在以后的日子，我无法让他快乐。
一颗心，有亲情，友情和爱情，没有人可以拥有全部。
如果他真的爱我，他会回来，而且，在以后的日子，相敬如宾。
我期待但不会等待，一切随缘。
在我怀孕后，我要他选择要还是不要，他说他尊重我的选择，如果孩子养下来，他会承担他的责任。他如何去承担他的责任？难道每月给抚养费就算是责任吗？他没有给我明确的答复。我给了他两个星期的时间，他都不理不睬，工作照干，饭照吃，觉照睡。
我也不想选择，就告诉了他老婆。总得有人来收拾残局。唉。。。
ChinaBride
新手上路
- 注册
- 2005-08-11
- 消息
- 22
- 荣誉分数
- 0
- 声望点数
- 0
Re: My Point
I don't understand why the marriage certificate is so important to you. I believe you don't have cinfidence on your relationship so that you need the marriage certificate so desperatly.
It's not the end of the world without the marriage certificate. Freedom is always your.
I just read an article about marriage,
(ZT)
旧石器时代，女人是男人的依附，需要男人来养活，女人的贡献是传宗接代，管理家庭。因此，一个公众认可的婚姻以及一个支持弱者的道德体系是幸福一生的可靠保障。而今，女人经济的独立，把女人从婚姻的圈子中解放出来――有了雄厚的经济基础，意识形态的东西就是看双方能否心有灵犀了。
现代婚姻从某方面来说是从经济上给婚姻各方一个公平，对于精神领域的需求，就要看各方在婚姻中的成长，这是无论如何无法强求的，没有对错，也无法评判。由此而看，这种意义的婚姻是无法担保天长地久，无法等到海枯石烂，因为人苦心烂的时候，也是婚姻解体的时候，谁又需要仰仗谁？谁又需要依赖谁呢？
既然精神上的互通，现代婚姻无法保障；养儿育女，现代婚姻不是必需；经济独立，让我能坦然面对生活需求，那婚姻对我来说意味着什么呢？
从我理解来看，婚姻意味着我愿意为了这个男人，无论发生任何情况，永远牺牲我选择的权利，将我的眼蒙住，将我的手铐住，将我的脚镣住，心甘情愿地成为他的依附，尽管我不需要成为他的依附。这是需要很大的勇气，很大的自信，很大的爱心，去承诺我的未来，去放弃我选择的权利。
这对谁又是件容易的事呢？
....
blah blah , blah...
I don't understand why the marriage certificate is so important to you. I believe you don't have cinfidence on your relationship so that you need the marriage certificate so desperatly.
It's not the end of the world without the marriage certificate. Freedom is always your.
I just read an article about marriage,
(ZT)
旧石器时代，女人是男人的依附，需要男人来养活，女人的贡献是传宗接代，管理家庭。因此，一个公众认可的婚姻以及一个支持弱者的道德体系是幸福一生的可靠保障。而今，女人经济的独立，把女人从婚姻的圈子中解放出来――有了雄厚的经济基础，意识形态的东西就是看双方能否心有灵犀了。
现代婚姻从某方面来说是从经济上给婚姻各方一个公平，对于精神领域的需求，就要看各方在婚姻中的成长，这是无论如何无法强求的，没有对错，也无法评判。由此而看，这种意义的婚姻是无法担保天长地久，无法等到海枯石烂，因为人苦心烂的时候，也是婚姻解体的时候，谁又需要仰仗谁？谁又需要依赖谁呢？
既然精神上的互通，现代婚姻无法保障；养儿育女，现代婚姻不是必需；经济独立，让我能坦然面对生活需求，那婚姻对我来说意味着什么呢？
从我理解来看，婚姻意味着我愿意为了这个男人，无论发生任何情况，永远牺牲我选择的权利，将我的眼蒙住，将我的手铐住，将我的脚镣住，心甘情愿地成为他的依附，尽管我不需要成为他的依附。这是需要很大的勇气，很大的自信，很大的爱心，去承诺我的未来，去放弃我选择的权利。
这对谁又是件容易的事呢？
....
blah blah , blah...
最初由 ChinaBride 发布
I don't think it's a good idea to let his wife know the story. His wife is victim too. You are hurting both her and him. You are very selfish! You are thinking of yourself. Have you ever been thinking of his wife and kids in China? It's nothing to do with his wife. It is HIM who is making decisions. He doesn't want to get divoiced for you. There must have some solid reasons behind this. There must have some solid connections between him and his family, that he can not get rid of easily. He HAS his reasons. Talk, talk, talk.. with him. Communication is the way to the solution. I beliver he loves you, but not strong enough. Don't give up so easily before you are making effort to understand him, because you love him.
It would never be too late to give him up before you have tried.
Cheers,
Re: My Point
他是一个大孩子，我能跟一个孩子计较什么？出事了只会躲一边去，他不敢面对他自己，他也不知道他到底需要什么？学问他做的很好，人却做得不怎么样。唉，性格决定命运，随他去吧。
三个人都累了，年纪也大了，放过别人也就是放过我自己，何必与别人较劲呢？
他是一个大孩子，我能跟一个孩子计较什么？出事了只会躲一边去，他不敢面对他自己，他也不知道他到底需要什么？学问他做的很好，人却做得不怎么样。唉，性格决定命运，随他去吧。
三个人都累了，年纪也大了，放过别人也就是放过我自己，何必与别人较劲呢？
最初由 ChinaBride 发布
I don't think it's a good idea to let his wife know the story. His wife is victim too. You are hurting both her and him. You are very selfish! You are thinking of yourself. Have you ever been thinking of his wife and kids in China? It's nothing to do with his wife. It is HIM who is making decisions. He doesn't want to get divoiced for you. There must have some solid reasons behind this. There must have some solid connections between him and his family, that he can not get rid of easily. He HAS his reasons. Talk, talk, talk.. with him. Communication is the way to the solution. I beliver he loves you, but not strong enough. Don't give up so easily before you are making effort to understand him, because you love him.
It would never be too late to give him up before you have tried.
Cheers,
看得出你是一个感情丰富的女人。这是你的悲哀，因为在这个世界上精神的追求远比物质的追求难满足；这又是你的幸运，因为你的一生对生活的体验和理解将胜过庸碌之人三生。
你想得到的东西其实也不难，走出自己的封闭世界，去广交朋友吧。当你有几个真诚的朋友，任何心灵的磨难都会变得容易涉过，因为有可以信赖的人和你一起扛。
愿与你分享我的五字交友之道：坦淡仁通缘。涵意是：
坦诚不恭
淡若梅菊
斋心仁厚
通达事故
一切随缘
基于这五个字和每个有缘相识的人相处，勿需多久，仍然留在你身边的就是你可以信赖至分享你真实感受的朋友们，这就是浮沙过后始见金的道理。
你会好起来的
为你祈祷
你想得到的东西其实也不难，走出自己的封闭世界，去广交朋友吧。当你有几个真诚的朋友，任何心灵的磨难都会变得容易涉过，因为有可以信赖的人和你一起扛。
愿与你分享我的五字交友之道：坦淡仁通缘。涵意是：
坦诚不恭
淡若梅菊
斋心仁厚
通达事故
一切随缘
基于这五个字和每个有缘相识的人相处，勿需多久，仍然留在你身边的就是你可以信赖至分享你真实感受的朋友们，这就是浮沙过后始见金的道理。
你会好起来的
为你祈祷
最初由 玫瑰花茶2 发布
走遍大江南北，踏遍天涯海角，我想要的只是一个可以陪我聊天的人，一份简单的生活，一杯清茶，一段琴音，我心足矣。
- 状态
- 不接受进一步回复。