[转帖][小朋友禁入]圣诞老人的物理学分析

shusheng

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The Physics of Santa Claus

  1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
  2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
  3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, and assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of his sleigh, jump down the chimnye, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking aabout .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
  4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 punds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (refer to point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal load, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
  5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entereing the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per SECOND, EACH! In short, hey will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousanths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal* forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
 
Ion-shield

"Santa obviously has an ion-shield of charged particles, held together by a magnetic field, surrounding his entire sleigh. This is how he solves the heat problem,"

"There are many meteor showers in December. Many astrophysicists, including apparently serious ‘celebrity’ astrophysicists at the university, who maintain that these lights in the sky are the result of dust particles that burn up as they enter our atmosphere. But this is nonsense, because they ignore the truth: That the lights are the result of Santa Claus moving out of and into the atmosphere as he travels around the globe delivering Christmas presents!”

"Likewise, Santa Claus doesn’t travel in our four dimensions (remember that time is the fourth dimension), but makes use of some 11 dimensions. These dimensions make it quite easy to pick up gifts from his warehouse at the North Pole."
 
Einstein = Santa Claus?

Such physics are Gaute Einevoll’s speciality, and he brings a bold hypothesis to the table:

"We are talking about moving matter, and no one had more knowledge about matter than Albert Einstein. Do I need to point out that the dishevelled physicist reminds many of Santa Claus? Einstein published his special theory of relativity in 1905 and his general theory of relativity in 1916, but after Coca-Cola more or less defined Santa’s ‘look’ in 1930, Einstein didn’t publish that much more. I have wondered if that’s because Einstein became Santa,"

The reason that Einstein never was able to link together quantum theory and relativity is due to the fact that the famous tussled head was busy in secret helping Santa to become a kind of “Quanta Claus”.

Coincidence? Certainly not!
 
Santa Claus – A Threat to the Environment?

"Even though Santa uses both the ion-shield and travels between dimensions, the problem of air resistance remains,"

"There are so many more people now, and so many more good children, that there are more gifts and thus more air resistance. Therefore, it is natural to explain the warming up of the polar region with all the extra heat that is released. But this problem will solve itself over time, because if children are too good, then all the ice at the North Pole melt. Then there will be no more winter, and thus no more Christmas."

"This leads to a discussion of ‘the bad children problem’: Why do bad children also receive gifts and whether, out of respect for the environment, children should be a little more naughty – without creating more problems with discipline in school.”
 
昨天儿子在网上打游戏, 看见游戏下边有一个一行字的小广告, 写着 Send a letter from Santa, Post mark from North Pole."

儿子愕然, "What the heck?"

趁儿子不注意我偷偷进去张望了一下, 有很多圣诞老人来信的版本, 9.95一封信, 你输入孩子的名字和你所居住的城市名字, 这信就成了. 当然还得交钱, 提供地址, 然后坐家里等来信吧.


今天早上问儿子, 今年你乖了没有? 圣诞节想要什么啊?

儿子说, "I don't believe in that anymore."

这回轮到我傻眼了.
 
你儿子在家里都只说英语啊?

昨天儿子在网上打游戏, 看见游戏下边有一个一行字的小广告, 写着 Send a letter from Santa, Post mark from North Pole."

儿子愕然, "What the heck?"

趁儿子不注意我偷偷进去张望了一下, 有很多圣诞老人来信的版本, 9.95一封信, 你输入孩子的名字和你所居住的城市名字, 这信就成了. 当然还得交钱, 提供地址, 然后坐家里等来信吧.


今天早上问儿子, 今年你乖了没有? 圣诞节想要什么啊?

儿子说, "I don't believe in that anymore."

这回轮到我傻眼了.
 
Santa Claus 又快来了吧. 看到有mall里已经给他布置好了巨型坐椅.
今年要准备合影照相了 :):)
 
今天早上问儿子, 今年你乖了没有? 圣诞节想要什么啊?
儿子说, "I don't believe in that anymore."
这回轮到我傻眼了.

你那位小帅哥几岁啦?

我儿去年九岁, 还给圣诞老人写了信.
今年,他还在想: 要不要写信? :D
 
嗯. 惨痛教训呐.

中华文化源远流长, 可就是难学难记..

觉得我会用的也就是两三百个中文字吧..:blowzy:

难怪我以前老是琢磨, 咋写不了小说呢? 现在恍然大悟..:D
 
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