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Best friends died side by side
Housemates try to cope with loss after crash claims three
Katie Daubs, Tim Shufelt and Thulasi Srikanthan, with files from Andrew Seymour and Neco Cockburn, The Ottawa Citizen
Published: Thursday, January 24, 2008
Ten hours before they died together at the intersection of Heron Road and Riverside Drive, Vanessa Crawford and Brianne Deschamps logged on to Facebook and changed their relationship status. At 3:52 p.m. Tuesday afternoon, with a little red heart on the page, the two friends "married" each other.
"They grew up together," said Brianne's father, Stephen Deschamps, from his home in Petrolia. "Her friends were everything to her. She just needed to have her friends around all the time."
And in the early hours of Jan. 23, his daughter ended her life as she lived it: surrounded by friends she loved.
The collision that made the Facebook entry the last for the two women also claimed the life of the SUV's driver, 20-year-old Mark MacDonald, of Arnprior. Their housemate, 19-year-old Monica Neacsu was hurt, but released from hospital, while a fifth friend, 20-year-old Ben Gardiner is in critical, but stable condition.
It was the second time that a fatal crash has affected Mr. Gardiner. On Halloween 2003, Mr. Gardiner's friend, 16-year-old Jon Smith, was killed in a crash involving a car in which he was a passenger.
Yesterday, on Ridgewood Avenue, Ms. Crawford's and Ms. Deschamps' housemates were trying to cope with the loss of their three close friends. They said although Mr. MacDonald didn't live there, he was virtually a permanent fixture at the house.
"Mark was like the sixth roommate that kept the estrogen down in the house. He balanced us out. He was just a great person. All round, a great person," Malika Welsh said.
Ms. Welsh said she had last seen her friends on Tuesday.
"We were all hanging out, just talking. Talking about our plans and what we would do in 2008," she said.
Ms. Crawford, a second-year psychology student with a flair for adventure, was looking forward to another round of skydiving and an Indian dance competition.
First-year general arts student Ms. Deschamps was planning an audition to get into Carleton's music program.
And Mr. Macdonald, an economics student in his second year, had dreams of his own construction or development business.
But early yesterday morning, the plans and dreams of the three friends came to a halt, and the effects of the devastating loss crossed the province to the families of the three Carleton students.
"You never expect anything like this to happen to you and your family," said Mr. MacDonald's brother, Simon, at the family home in Arnprior. "It makes you realize how precious life is."
Mr. MacDonald remembered his brother, his best friend, as ambitious and mature -- "almost an old man."
But there was another side, filled with spunk, feistiness and independent spirit, he said.
"Everyone loved to have him around," said his mother, Hazel MacDonald, adding that as the youngest of three children, "He was special to everyone."
Mr. MacDonald was born in Lethbridge, Alta., but moved with his family to Arnprior when he was young. He attended Arnprior District High School and later John McCrae High School.
Since he was a little boy, Mr. MacDonald was an avid swimmer. He swam for the
Nepean Kanata Barracudas and reached the national levels when he was in his mid-teens.
But the athletic youngest son defied definition. His mother recalled Mr. MacDonald had a fascination for Winston Churchill and liked to quote Shakespeare.
"He was very optimistic for his future plans, but God's plans were different," she said.
In Petrolia, Ont., Brianne Deschamps' father described the "huge void" left by her death.
"We have a very small family so everybody is taking it pretty bad," he said.
Stephen Deschamps had spoken to his eldest daughter on Tuesday and said she was in good spirits. She had just bought new books for the coming semester and was looking forward to coming home to Petrolia for reading week to take her final driving exam.
He said his daughter had come to Carleton in September eager to study music. She was planning to teach music after she graduated.
"Music was really her life," he said.
Mr. Deschamps described his daughter as someone who was close to her family, friends and had a special place in her heart for animals. She had even brought home some kittens last summer, he recalled.
Alongside her love for animals, he said his daughter was enamoured with Carleton University, Ottawa, and the friends she had made there.
He said he doesn't know where the group was headed last night.
"I wish we did," he said. "I wish they would have been in bed at 2 a.m. instead of driving around.
"But they are 19, right?"
Half an hour's drive from Petrolia is the small town of Corunna, Ont., where Vanessa Crawford grew up. Her family was shocked at the loss of the child with the magnetic personality, said her grandmother, Joan Crawford.
"She was full of a lot of life," she said. "She was always happy and smiling and willing to help anybody. Those are the only kind that get killed."
She remembered her granddaughter, an only child, as smart, popular and kind, with a lifelong passion for competitive dance.
As the news of her death made it to the dance school she studied at, the tap shoes fell silent.
"She was just a ray of light in this dance school," said Shirley Schram, of the Shirley Schram School of Dance in Sarnia.
She said Ms. Crawford began dancing around the age of 10 and stayed until she left for university. When she was old enough, she taught the younger girls. Her specialty was tap.
"She never was a quitter. When she was on stage, she just smiled and loved to be there." Mrs. Schram said.
Alheli Picazo, 23, danced alongside Ms. Crawford. She said the 19-year-old was never one to take part in the politics or gossip that sometimes arrive with competitive dance. "She always made you feel like you were included, welcome, and part of something," she said.
Jason Mckechnie, 19, of Corunna remembers his friend in the same way. "She hated drama. That's one of the things I loved about her.
"She made her own life and she made her own decisions."
Mr. McKechnie met Ms. Crawford when a mutual friend thought they would be a good match. They became close friends, and Mr. McKechnie would often take her for rides on his motorcycle. In November, the two met up in Toronto to go skydiving.
Mr. Mckechnie jumped out of the plane first, and gave her a high five "secret skydiving handshake" on his way out -- it's bad luck to say good luck.
"Her exit, everything in her first jump, was perfect -- by the book," he said.
Mr. Mckechnie was a more experienced skydiver and was attempting a free fall, a more complicated manoeuvre. His first two attempts were botched, but the third, when Ms. Crawford was in the plane with him, was perfect.
"I did everything perfect. That one jump, when she was there with me," he said.
Childhood friend Sarah Taylor recently reconnected with Ms. Crawford and heard about the skydiving adventures.
She found it surprising considering her friend didn't seem to be the thrill-seeking type.
"She was more the elegant-dancer type," she said.
But like Mr. MacDonald, Vanessa Crawford defied a standard description. She meant different things to different people.
"She would never dance in front of me, but she would jump out of an airplane," Mr. Mckechnie said.
He last saw her at Christmas, on the day her family got back from a cruise. He said he only meant to stay for 10 minutes, but was there the entire afternoon, catching up and talking about jumping through the skies. They made plans to go for another jump, and to bring her father along.
Since that can't happen, Mr. Mckechnie has decided to dedicate all future skydiving jumps to her memory.
"I've never had anybody close to me die before. This is worse than I ever thought it was going to be," he said. "I've never cried over someone's death before, until I found out she was gone."
Mr. Mckechnie said he took some comfort in Ms. Crawford's facebook status, which reads: "Vanessa Crawford is singin' don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gunna be alright ... "
"That's one 100-per-cent her," he said.
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