公公非要吃捡回来的野蘑菇，该让他吃吗？

[Kay007]

Don't let them eat. It is very dangerous.
2 years ago, one of my friends picked up some mushroom and cooked to eat. The whole family got sick and was send to hospital, but the doctor don't know what kind poison was. The hospital contacted the biologist professor (he is specialize in mushroom ), who wasn't sure what it was. Finally, they went the place where they picked up mushroom and got a lot of sample to analysis, Figured out this poison mushroom was very much look like the no-poison one and couldn't figure out by human's eyes, The family suffer a lot, the younger boy needed change his kidney in a week otherwise he would die, Functionally they fond a substitute kidney, he finally survived, The local news paper reported this accident to warn people be careful of the mushrooms, the expert warned even though you know mushroom very well, it was better to keep them away from your dinner table, This is a true story, it happen in Waterloo, ON, Canada. If you like, I can call your parents and tell them the story
sorry, my period key doesn't work

 

[WQK]

Why are there so many problem when parents come to live with children? If it is not mushroom, there will be something else. I think this is a social issue, and only happens in immigrant families where parents come here to live with their children's family.

 

[PipiMom]

You are the wisest man I know. Salute!

Excellent words. Sometimes we are too self-centered

The issue is not the mushroom!

The issue deep down is he felt like he is no longer in control in his life. He is getting older, don't have the means to bring in money, don't have the language skill any more. He cannot get around unless someone bring him somewhere. He felt like he is a burden of the family.

When he compare the good old days in China, he should be the boss, the head of the family. In his mind, he is providing his family (bring in money like he once did). Your rejection is like rejecting his afford to provide.

Understand his feeling, and don't hold it again him. I bet he doesn't understand it either. Get him more involve in family affair, ask for his input that could make him feel better.

Unfortunately, not much could be done for him. Just wish when we were older we don't get into the same situation.

 

[dahuahua]

The issue is not the mushroom!

The issue deep down is he felt like he is no longer in control in his life. He is getting older, don't have the means to bring in money, don't have the language skill any more. He cannot get around unless someone bring him somewhere. He felt like he is a burden of the family.

When he compare the good old days in China, he should be the boss, the head of the family. In his mind, he is providing his family (bring in money like he once did). Your rejection is like rejecting his afford to provide.

Understand his feeling, and don't hold it again him. I bet he doesn't understand it either. Get him more involve in family affair, ask for his input that could make him feel better.

Unfortunately, not much could be done for him. Just wish when we were older we don't get into the same situation.

我理解你想要表达对弱者同情的立场，但我这里想要说的是：家庭关系的好坏不能靠1个人来改善，老人不能以老卖老，年轻人也不能过于得理不饶人。只有这样互相尊敬才能相安无事。如果不了解一个家庭发生的事情，是非曲直又岂能你这样华然的语言就可以盖棺定论？就野蘑菇这一件事而言：我先是礼貌地问，然后善意地劝，得到否定答案后，请他考虑一下虽然我们给 他买了高昂的保险，但谁知道等待的是什么意外？关于生命希望他珍惜，另外我们拖儿带口在加拿大也不容易，出了事情都不好。但得到的还是倚老卖老的答案。那我只好倒掉，所以引起一场破口大骂——好心不得好报，如果我真想虐待他，我装做不知道就行了。
我希望坛子里自认为好人的人，善良的人，在看待问题上也要考虑全面一点。这件人命关天的事我需要有人知道我的立场，否则我就是跳进黄河也洗不清了。

 

[benji]

The issue is not the mushroom!

The issue deep down is he felt like he is no longer in control in his life. He is getting older, don't have the means to bring in money, don't have the language skill any more. He cannot get around unless someone bring him somewhere. He felt like he is a burden of the family.

When he compare the good old days in China, he should be the boss, the head of the family. In his mind, he is providing his family (bring in money like he once did). Your rejection is like rejecting his afford to provide.

Understand his feeling, and don't hold it again him. I bet he doesn't understand it either. Get him more involve in family affair, ask for his input that could make him feel better.

Unfortunately, not much could be done for him. Just wish when we were older we don't get into the same situation.

Well, it's easy to say so. But it's two ways. If the parents refuse to adapt the new environment and ask the whole family to make changes to adapt the lifestyle they used to have in China, well, what can the children do?

 

[基础号]

我们院以前就有一家四口出外爬山游玩, 兴致来了采了野蘑菇,到了山下饭馆吃饭特意叮嘱厨子帮他们把采的野蘑菇也做成一道菜,做妈妈的看老公和两个儿子吃得高兴,就让他们多吃,自己没怎么吃,结果出了妈妈幸存外,其余三人当场死亡. 这是真事! 两个儿子都是当时在美国留学,暑假回来看父母,都很高很帅,好遗憾, 当时我们院的都震惊呢!

 

[Eternal Flame]

我们院以前就有一家四口出外爬山游玩, 兴致来了采了野蘑菇,到了山下饭馆吃饭特意叮嘱厨子帮他们把采的野蘑菇也做成一道菜,做妈妈的看老公和两个儿子吃得高兴,就让他们多吃,自己没怎么吃,结果出了妈妈幸存外,其余三人当场死亡. 这是真事! 两个儿子都是当时在美国留学,暑假回来看父母,都很高很帅,好遗憾, 当时我们院的都震惊呢!

OMG!

 

[seng]

记得渥太华大学的一个植物学教授的忠告：如果你不是个专家，千万千万不要吃野蘑菇！！！没有时间给医生抢救的

 

[zhongguoren]

中毒者吃的是草地上长的白蘑菇吗，还是林子里的花蘑菇？草蘑一般是无毒的。如果不清楚这个，你公公也不会信服为什么他认为没毒的你一定不吃。要以理服人，不要直接倒掉，没有人喜欢这种态度。即使你认为是为他好。

 

[WQK]

我理解你想要表达对弱者同情的立场，但我这里想要说的是：家庭关系的好坏不能靠1个人来改善，老人不能以老卖老，年轻人也不能过于得理不饶人。只有这样互相尊敬才能相安无事。如果不了解一个家庭发生的事情，是非曲直又岂能你这样华然的语言就可以盖棺定论？就野蘑菇这一件事而言：我先是礼貌地问，然后善意地劝，得到否定答案后，请他考虑一下虽然我们给 他买了高昂的保险，但谁知道等待的是什么意外？关于生命希望他珍惜，另外我们拖儿带口在加拿大也不容易，出了事情都不好。但得到的还是倚老卖老的答案。那我只好倒掉，所以引起一场破口大骂——好心不得好报，如果我真想虐待他，我装做不知道就行了。
我希望坛子里自认为好人的人，善良的人，在看待问题上也要考虑全面一点。这件人命关天的事我需要有人知道我的立场，否则我就是跳进黄河也洗不清了。

We as adult children invite parents or parents-in-law to visit and live with us. It all begins with good intention. I really would like to know how many family can really live together happily for long time. Those family who do please share your experience. I am sure none of us or our parents are bad people.

 

[京华倦客]

网上订本儿详尽的中文的野生菌大全（反正也都是抄国外的，大部分都是这边常见）不就搞定了。。。

 

[ccc]

让他缓一缓，吃前先上个保险

上个保险, 让他吃.

 

[bobyuan]

你宁肯后悔，可以吃的蘑菇没有吃到嘴里，也不要后悔，不可以吃的蘑菇吃到了嘴里。

 

[2007summer]

老问题

家庭不和蔼大多和处理问题的方式及态度有关,而和初衷无关. 把公公当成自己的父亲,哄哄他, 劝服他,不相信有这末不通情达理的老人的. 实在不通,应通过他儿子出面说服. 把磨菇直接倒了,就造成了矛盾生级. 迫不得已一定得倒的话, 得由他儿子倒才好,老人不至于生那末大气. 看来他们是短期探亲,不会老跟你住下去,能忍则忍.如果这样对峙下去,老人气出病来,还不是你们负担? 和你丈夫的关系也回疏远,对下一代也带来负面影响:试想,人老时都有这样那样的固执,下一代用同样的方法对待你,你能受得了吗?
我说这些, 并不是说就让他们吃吧,地确在搞清之前不能吃. 现在已经不是该不该吃的问题(磨菇已没了). 赶紧补救和老人的紧张关系,让他们过个愉快的假期,过后他们肯定会谅解你的.但如果平时你们就不和,那要请教专家辅导,这磨菇事件可能只是个导火索了.

 

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