Directors at Opel and GM USA have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was another possibility.
As part of the negotiations, directors at GM conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and have accepted a five-year phase-in plan.
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers have one less letter.
There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
GM will enkourage the removal of double letters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "o", and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and employes vil find it ezi to kommunikat viz eash ozer.
Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to us zis for all busines komunikation via GM.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru ….
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad yu smil, plez pas on to oza pepl.
这孩子没有雪还不偷着乐会儿
