一个小印女从被MIT录取到最后退学,重新上普通大学的心路历程

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给广大立志名校的小中,老中参考一下哈。

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-li...DLIGwCahHMc8CBzE3fSXoZpb-cDdQfqpihMPnK7licUS8

What is it like to burn out as a student at MIT?



Shataakshi Dube
, failed out of MIT, somehow survived
Answered Nov 16, 2015 · Upvoted by Fangfei Shen, studied at Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Jay Sitlani, BS Chemical Engineering, Biology, Massachusetts Institute of Technology (1988)

This happened to me.

My first semester at MIT was awesome - I was very motivated and got all A's, despite everything being pass/no record. I even got an A+ in differential equations. My second semester went pretty well, too, but I struggled very much in organic chemistry and ended up with a B. This was my first B ever, and though I was disappointed, I shook it off and tried to stay positive. I declared math as my major.

I'm not even sure why I took organic chemistry, since I was interested in math. My parents were pressuring me to be a premed and become a doctor (like them) so I guess I was trying to appease them. But at the same time, I was desperately running away from them and their emotional abuse. I was very conflicted and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had always excelled in math and so I chose to pursue that. I didn't know it at the time, but my very sense of self-worth was based on the fact that I was good at math.

My third semester, I took 18.700 (Linear Algebra). I had never done higher-level math based on proofs before, and I ended up with a D. I didn't do that well in my other classes, either. I started skipping classes more and more, sleeping more and more. It seemed like all my friends were doing so well, getting all these internships and opportunities over the summers, while my parents made me fly home and stay with them every summer. The next semester I got 2 F's and was put on academic warning by CAP.

My fifth semester, I realized that I was awful at higher-level math and so I switched my major to computer science. I had lost all confidence in myself. I attended a few classes at the beginning of the semester, but after the first midterms, I completely stopped. I stopped doing psets. My only relief was the dance team I was on. I would sleep all day, muster up the courage to get out of bed and go to dance practice, pretend everything was okay at dinner with my friends, and then go back to sleep. As expected, I failed all of my classes and had to withdraw from MIT.

The worst part is, I did all of this to myself, and extended it unecessarily long. I lied to everyone - myself, my friends, even my parents. They had no idea I was struggling. They thought I was getting all A's, like I always did. I remember one time, my younger cousin came over and asked me how I dealt with not getting A's (she had just entered college), and I straight up lied. I told her I didn't know, because that had never happened to me. Why didn't I tell anyone? I don't know. I was ashamed. I didn't want my friends to think I was stupid. I didn't want to let my parents down, because I loved them. I also feared them. Hated them.

Sinced I was forced to withdraw, I had no choice but to tell my parents. Over winter break, I told them I didn't want to go back. My dad asked to see my grades, for the first time ever. I shakingly emailed him my transcript, then went to my room and hid behind my bed, prepared for the worst. Instead of yelling or hitting me, though, he just held me and cried. The next day, he took off from work and took me and my mom to a nearby, small liberal arts college (my older brother went there). We went to the admissions office and they literally *begged* them to help me. I felt completely numb.

Somehow, I was conditionally accepted, and I just had to do well my first semester. I took very basic classes on things I had mastered in high school. But I was burnt out, and I had lost all confidence in myself. Before my first biology test, I remember telling my mom I didn't think I could pass. I did pass, with flying colors. But I also fucked up. In my writing class, I could not complete a project on time, and I stopped showing up to class again. I finally talked to the professor, and he gave me an incomplete. The admissions office was not happy, and they told me this was my final chance. If I didn't shape up the next semester, they were kicking me out. They only let me take 5 credit hours.

I was angry at myself, and at them, but the low credit limit was actually a blessing in disguise. Since I had so much free time, I decided to join a biology lab with my professor from the first semester. And I LOVED it. I started doing research ~35 hours a week, and I realized - this is what I want to do! I want to be a scientist! I finally had a goal, and internal motivation, and I decided I would do my absolute best to make it come true. I kept working, day by day, on both school and research. It was hard, and it was humbling. My parents and I had a lot of emotions and anger to deal with. Through sheer determination, I made it. This past May, I graduated with highest honors, and now I am fortunate enough to have started my PhD in neurobiology.

Though it ended up taking me 5 years to graduate from college, I can say now that failing out of MIT was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I realized that a person is NOT their grades. I realized how much my parents love me (and I never could have recovered without their support), and I think we finally understand each other. I finally discovered my passion in life, and now I get to put together my intense curiosity for biology with my love for math!

If you read this far, thank you. I know I am incredibly fortunate, and that this story could have ended tragically. I never wrote my story out in this detail before, and it was surprisingly healing. I never kept in touch with any of my friends after I left MIT, but maybe they will see this and understand. I'm sorry.
 
这事跟MIT没关系,换任何一个大学都有可能发生。主要是孩子要找到自己喜欢并擅长的专业学习。很多亚裔家长的通病就是push的太厉害,没有及时放手让孩子摸索。
 
知己知彼,量体裁衣。
 
掐老师现在成功转型成教育专家了。可喜可贺!
 
好歹人是先进去了,再出来的
 
光进去出不来,或不出来,就挺不卫生的生活方式。不贪,进得去出的来,进出自如才完美人生。深陷人生任何一个深坑的时候,要勇于自拔,敢于自拔。
 
最后编辑:
其实,她父母还是更了解她,原先就要她学医。学医不需要聪明。

可她太高估自己了,跑去学数学。结果,‘My third semester, I took 18.700 (Linear Algebra). I had never done higher-level math based on proofs before, and I ended up with a D.’

最后,转了一大圈又回来做生物实验。

可见,如果一直听父母走医学院这条路,可能还挺顺利。
 
首先说啊,小孩是个好小孩,跌倒了又站起来了。。BUT

热老师,怎么看怎么和你的鸡头理论相悖呀。。从小一直全A,倒在大学线性代数上,估计也是鸡头里的A吧?:)

你大数据一下这小孩的高中排名。。
 
首先说啊,小孩是个好小孩,跌倒了又站起来了。。BUT

热老师,怎么看怎么和你的鸡头理论相悖呀。。从小一直全A,倒在大学线性代数上,估计也是鸡头里的A吧?:)

你大数据一下这小孩的高中排名。。

说明了想去名校的话,就得得上要求高打分严厉的高中呀。。。。。:)

如果这小印女是从渥太华出去的,,,估计不是EOM 银牌或以上得主,,,,没上过AP课。。。。估计也不是IB的TOP 10。。。。。。。估计也不是LISGAR GP的TOP 3 。。。。。。 :buttrock:
 
首先说啊,小孩是个好小孩,跌倒了又站起来了。。BUT

热老师,怎么看怎么和你的鸡头理论相悖呀。。从小一直全A,倒在大学线性代数上,估计也是鸡头里的A吧?:)

你大数据一下这小孩的高中排名。。
Duke University的PhD, 你还想砸地?
Screenshot_20181219-232842.png
 
首先说啊,小孩是个好小孩,跌倒了又站起来了。。BUT

热老师,怎么看怎么和你的鸡头理论相悖呀。。从小一直全A,倒在大学线性代数上,估计也是鸡头里的A吧?:)

你大数据一下这小孩的高中排名。。
什么鸡头理论?
人的空间推理能力是天赋,后天没有办法习得。在大学之前,或者普通的工作(包括生物医学社科商业等),都不需要很高的空间推理能力。而高等数学物理以及计算机图论机械建筑设计都依赖这个能力。遗憾说,光考努力也没有办法克服。后天提高也有限。这个印藝女就缺乏这个能力(她得b的有机化学也需要一些空间推理)。最后,回头只能搞搞生物。如果她搞医,也不太可能成为尖端外科医生。
宿命的说,这个能力决定了思维的抽象程度。顶级能力可以搞搞物理数学,次者计算机通讯外科医生,再次者机械建筑。没有的话,就别硬上了。
 
什么鸡头理论?
人的空间推理能力是天赋,后天没有办法习得。在大学之前,或者普通的工作(包括生物医学社科商业等),都不需要很高的空间推理能力。而高等数学物理以及计算机图论机械建筑设计都依赖这个能力。遗憾说,光考努力也没有办法克服。后天提高也有限。这个印藝女就缺乏这个能力(她得b的有机化学也需要一些空间推理)。最后,回头只能搞搞生物。如果她搞医,也不太可能成为尖端外科医生。
宿命的说,这个能力决定了思维的抽象程度。顶级能力可以搞搞物理数学,次者计算机通讯外科医生,再次者机械建筑。没有的话,就别硬上了。


有些道理, 俺家娃就是空间想象能力不够, 给他讲几何题, 经常需要哥削个大箩卜才能解释清楚空间形状.

这些年下来, 箩卜都浪费了好几筐 ...
 
有些道理, 俺家娃就是空间想象能力不够, 给他讲几何题, 经常需要哥削个大箩卜才能解释清楚空间形状.

这些年下来, 箩卜都浪费了好几筐 ...
所以你家娃儿最后学的是不需要空间想象力的专业?
 
有些道理, 俺家娃就是空间想象能力不够, 给他讲几何题, 经常需要哥削个大箩卜才能解释清楚空间形状.

这些年下来, 箩卜都浪费了好几筐 ...
是不是你刀法不行,削一个正方体就得费半筐萝卜
 
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