Think Different:....

[SpetsNaz]

> > >Money is not everything.
> > >There's MasterCard & Visa.
> > >
> > >One should love animals.
> > >They are so tasty.
> > >
> > >Save water.
> > >Shower with your girl friend.
> > >
> > >Love the neighbour.
> > >But don't get caught.
> > >
> > >Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
> > >And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
> > >
> > >Every man should marry.
> > >After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
> > >
> > >The wise never marry,
> > >And when they marry they become otherwise.
> > >
> > >Success is a relative term.
> > >It brings so many relatives.
> > >
> > >Never put off the work till tomorrow
> > >what you can put off today.
> > >
> > >Love is photogenic
> > >It needs darkness to develop
> > >
> > >Children in backseats cause accidents
> > >Accidents in backseats cause children
> > >
> > >"Your future depends on your dreams"
> > >So go to sleep
> > >
> > >There should be a better way to start a day than
> > >waking up every morning
> > >
> > >"Hard work never killed anybody"
> > >But why take the risk!
> > >
> > >"Work fascinates me"
> > >I can look at it for hours!
> > >
> > >God made relatives;
> > >Thank God we can choose our friends.
> > >
> > >When two's company, three's the result!
> > >
> > >A dress is like a barbed fence.
> > >It protects the premises without restricting the view
> > >
> > >The more you learn, the more you know,
> > >The more you know, the more you forget
> > >The more you forget, the less you know
> > >So why bother to learn.
> > >
> > >. .. .. t h i n k d i f f e r e n t

 

[SpetsNaz]

1. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
2. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 kilos.
3. What's the best form or birth control after 50?
Nudity.
4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
5. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
6. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
7. Why are men and parking spaces alike?
Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are
disabled.
8. What have men and floor tiles got in common?
If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them
for
life.
9. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
10. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
11. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
12. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
13. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm.
14. What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
15. Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and the
refrigerator.
16. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
17. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your Mum.
18. How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
19. How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you. "Let's just be friends."
20. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
21. What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.
22. What has a whole bunch of little balls, and screws old ladies?
A Bingo Machine.
23. Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex too.
24. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
25. What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is It In?"
26. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
27. If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what
do you
have?
Divorce proceedings.
28. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Tasmania?
Everyone has the same DNA.
29. Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
30. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
the
other?
A speech impediment.
31. What does it mean when the flag at the US Post Office is flying
at half
mast?
They're hiring.
32. What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
Men miss them all.
33. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
34. Why aren't there any Aboriginals on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
35. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo".
36. What do you call a New Zealand farmer with a sheep under each
arm?
A Pimp.
37. What's the difference between a Japanese Zoo, and an Australian
Zoo.
A Japanese Zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage,
along with a recipe.
38. What's the Indonesian national Anthem?
Row row row your boat.

 

[好奇宝宝]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[天使信差]

。。。。。。

 

[SpetsNaz]

同学发来的

 

[NOUVEAU]

哎呀....没办法啊...
今天见到美女.....狂晕啊....

 

[大漠张三]

7. Why are men and parking spaces alike?
Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are
disabled.
8. What have men and floor tiles got in common?
If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them
for
life.
9. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
10. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
15. Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and the
refrigerator.
16. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
24. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

lmao

 

[?☆莫名其妙☆?]

...

 

[露凝]

HOHOHOHOHO~~~