精华 [讨论] 家庭暴力
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kool
Bossman
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- 2003-01-03
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我们都在从根本上寻找解决家庭问题的方式， 你却一直在转移话题和避开根本来讨论。
包括你的发问都是不符合逻辑的。
original topic: can LOVE stop a husband from beating his wife? Can LOVE stop cheating? Can LOVE feed a poor family struggling to survive?
i am telling u>>> yes! can
if husband still is beating his wife, that means there is no love from this man's heart...then he needs love.
if there is love, cheating won't happen.
the third question is a little bit too far ... but i still can answer u, between the human if there is enough love, they won;t be struggling for survive.
back to the bottom line, if human will give up their selfish, then love can change everything.
you are too realistic and forget human has love! and this is the fundation of all our life.
not money, power and law!
BTW, I believe who marry u, this man will ready for 3 rings in his life for sure.(Engage ring, wedding ring, and .......)
包括你的发问都是不符合逻辑的。
original topic: can LOVE stop a husband from beating his wife? Can LOVE stop cheating? Can LOVE feed a poor family struggling to survive?
i am telling u>>> yes! can
if husband still is beating his wife, that means there is no love from this man's heart...then he needs love.
if there is love, cheating won't happen.
the third question is a little bit too far ... but i still can answer u, between the human if there is enough love, they won;t be struggling for survive.
back to the bottom line, if human will give up their selfish, then love can change everything.
you are too realistic and forget human has love! and this is the fundation of all our life.
not money, power and law!
BTW, I believe who marry u, this man will ready for 3 rings in his life for sure.(Engage ring, wedding ring, and .......)
oread
新手上路
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- 2002-01-24
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You are a believer, aren't you? I used to be, but not anymore, I learned and I moved on. It's unfortunate, but it's the reality.
The original topic was: what are the devastating effects, mental or physical, that family abuse will bring to a woman.
My own goals for this discussion are:
1. Provide information to abused women that help is out there (this was my primary goal)
2. Try to find the root cause of domestic abuse (I know this is a complexe topic, and without in-depth reading and research, one could simply guess, and that's what we did)
3. Lessons learned if there is any (obviously we have not reached this goal yet, too few comments, however given the complexity of family matters, this was only intended to be a side goal)
The original topic was: what are the devastating effects, mental or physical, that family abuse will bring to a woman.
My own goals for this discussion are:
1. Provide information to abused women that help is out there (this was my primary goal)
2. Try to find the root cause of domestic abuse (I know this is a complexe topic, and without in-depth reading and research, one could simply guess, and that's what we did)
3. Lessons learned if there is any (obviously we have not reached this goal yet, too few comments, however given the complexity of family matters, this was only intended to be a side goal)
kool
Bossman
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I do understand your concerns and goal, but that is not the way to really fix the problem, I always believe we should avoid the problem instead fix the problem after.
simple reason, fix problem will takes much more time, energy and money. if we can avoid before it happen, it is a much better sulotion. my goal is to avoid it instead to fix it or to help it after.
this is same as our health, we should take care and watch out daily, our really sulotion are not durgs and surgeries, do u agree?? i am not saying u are wrong, just we have different opinion.
actaully i am looking for something about teen-age drug control program for the community after work with my colleagues, maybe you can try to do something to help those family problems in the community.
only one thing i don't agree with u, you like to put someone at ur opposites first, then start to deal the problem. that is hard to solve the problem, be very honestly.
wish you happy too, how's ur dog do??
simple reason, fix problem will takes much more time, energy and money. if we can avoid before it happen, it is a much better sulotion. my goal is to avoid it instead to fix it or to help it after.
this is same as our health, we should take care and watch out daily, our really sulotion are not durgs and surgeries, do u agree?? i am not saying u are wrong, just we have different opinion.
actaully i am looking for something about teen-age drug control program for the community after work with my colleagues, maybe you can try to do something to help those family problems in the community.
only one thing i don't agree with u, you like to put someone at ur opposites first, then start to deal the problem. that is hard to solve the problem, be very honestly.
wish you happy too, how's ur dog do??
oread
新手上路
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Some problems are inevitable. I don't want to give abstract advice, because each family is different, is unique in its own ways. It's unrealistic not to mention superficial to use generalized "rules" if you will to solve family problems.
Whereas Chinese books like to talk about "should do", Canadian books are more focused on "what to do", in other words, much more detailed questions and answers. This is something I discovered after living in both places for a while. For example: Chinese books on pregnancy rarely talked about how to deal with specific problems, they gave more generalized ideas as what to expect during pregnancy and nursing; Canadian books are far more detailed on specific problems, feelings, questions and answers.
While it's always good to bear those happy family rules in mind, it is however more helpful to provide realistic alternatives and solutions to specific problems, in our case, family abuse. I had not even dreamt of solving any family problems, that would be too shallow and overly optimistic. What I tried to accomplish here was simply to INFORM, to the best of my ability, knowing that HELP IS OUT THERE, and to discuss possible cause and effects.
You have been quite vocal and honest in your opinions, then let me give you a comment: you are too quick to pass your judgement, right or wrong, you need to listen more.
Whereas Chinese books like to talk about "should do", Canadian books are more focused on "what to do", in other words, much more detailed questions and answers. This is something I discovered after living in both places for a while. For example: Chinese books on pregnancy rarely talked about how to deal with specific problems, they gave more generalized ideas as what to expect during pregnancy and nursing; Canadian books are far more detailed on specific problems, feelings, questions and answers.
While it's always good to bear those happy family rules in mind, it is however more helpful to provide realistic alternatives and solutions to specific problems, in our case, family abuse. I had not even dreamt of solving any family problems, that would be too shallow and overly optimistic. What I tried to accomplish here was simply to INFORM, to the best of my ability, knowing that HELP IS OUT THERE, and to discuss possible cause and effects.
You have been quite vocal and honest in your opinions, then let me give you a comment: you are too quick to pass your judgement, right or wrong, you need to listen more.
kool
Bossman
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you still talk about HOW TO FIX & SOLVE the problems. i didn't give any of my judgement here, I was just give my opinion and suggestion, i give solutions to help and avoid this kind of family problem will happen in our community.
"should do" is give a clear navigation to some one have no knowledge about it.
"what to do" is give a roadmap to some one can be educated.
we need both in our life. more details some times make people confuse and fuzzy
你很坚持你的观点和态度， 这点很好， 如今能执着的人不多了，但同时你这人成见太深。。呵呵， 从和你交谈里可以很明显的感到， 这是我个人和你交谈下来的感觉。
人是多面性的， 也是可塑性的， 从基本和开始做起的效果要比后面问题出现在去弥补要好的多。。
我想你是同意这点的， 既然同样化时间去做， 我认为前者比较容易也比较明智的。。
世界上没有解不了的冤仇， 只要人的宽容和真情还存在。
虽然我们的出发点不同， 但希望是一样的， 都希望大家有幸福家庭，和美满的婚姻。。
我们也没必要在两个不同着手点的问题上多讨论了， 还是做点真的可以帮到这些问题家庭的实事吧。。哪怕是很小的开始。你说呢？？
"should do" is give a clear navigation to some one have no knowledge about it.
"what to do" is give a roadmap to some one can be educated.
we need both in our life. more details some times make people confuse and fuzzy
你很坚持你的观点和态度， 这点很好， 如今能执着的人不多了，但同时你这人成见太深。。呵呵， 从和你交谈里可以很明显的感到， 这是我个人和你交谈下来的感觉。
人是多面性的， 也是可塑性的， 从基本和开始做起的效果要比后面问题出现在去弥补要好的多。。
我想你是同意这点的， 既然同样化时间去做， 我认为前者比较容易也比较明智的。。
世界上没有解不了的冤仇， 只要人的宽容和真情还存在。
虽然我们的出发点不同， 但希望是一样的， 都希望大家有幸福家庭，和美满的婚姻。。
我们也没必要在两个不同着手点的问题上多讨论了， 还是做点真的可以帮到这些问题家庭的实事吧。。哪怕是很小的开始。你说呢？？
