What can we do for those precious young kids?
- 主题发起人 cindy28
- 开始时间
Hello everyone,
I'm so glad that there're so many responses here. Sometimes, it takes unexpected tragedy to bring people together. The experience of 2 passed boys shocked me and I have been blame myself why I never thought to help those new comers even though I knew how difficulty it can be when you come from so far away and in such young age.
There're many good ideas here. I feel that we should get some students association involved, otherwise how can we know who needs help? Or maybe we can formaly establish an organization to help new students from China. What you guys think?
Or maybe we likely minded people can meet to know each other and discuss this in person.
I'm so glad that there're so many responses here. Sometimes, it takes unexpected tragedy to bring people together. The experience of 2 passed boys shocked me and I have been blame myself why I never thought to help those new comers even though I knew how difficulty it can be when you come from so far away and in such young age.
There're many good ideas here. I feel that we should get some students association involved, otherwise how can we know who needs help? Or maybe we can formaly establish an organization to help new students from China. What you guys think?
Or maybe we likely minded people can meet to know each other and discuss this in person.
阿童木
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Definitely need student association involved. I also suggest
(1) Get CFC administrators involved as well to get student in needs also mentor voluteers. They did an excellent job during 126 and we all see how effective this channel of communications is. Time has changed, many new students will call on help and trust the source from this site than say sometime preceived "uncool" place like from school... We need this channel!
(2) I feel most of time these young and new students are pretty good integrated into the school. Because the rules at school are simple and they are quite used to that from China. But the shock is really when they are out side of that "protective bubble" and into the "brutal" society. Then they become quite vulnerable (126 is an extreme example of this). So that is where student association may have limited capability and scope to serve and a BSBB-like club will likely to be more effective.
Also we need some structural help from student associations. Such as matching and locations and of course legal aspects.
(1) Get CFC administrators involved as well to get student in needs also mentor voluteers. They did an excellent job during 126 and we all see how effective this channel of communications is. Time has changed, many new students will call on help and trust the source from this site than say sometime preceived "uncool" place like from school... We need this channel!
(2) I feel most of time these young and new students are pretty good integrated into the school. Because the rules at school are simple and they are quite used to that from China. But the shock is really when they are out side of that "protective bubble" and into the "brutal" society. Then they become quite vulnerable (126 is an extreme example of this). So that is where student association may have limited capability and scope to serve and a BSBB-like club will likely to be more effective.
Also we need some structural help from student associations. Such as matching and locations and of course legal aspects.
GroundZero
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支持。
泼点凉水。
多年前我的朋友们形成了一个group，也作过这类事，俺也是其中一员，那时还没有CFC，机场接送，帮助新移民安家，帮小留学生课业，但是地域，文化以及家庭背景，经济条件等等的差异，最终使得效果并不理想。
当然，在这个失败的过程中，提供帮助者和被帮助者都没有错，错的只是大家太理想化了。
举个例子，同样的房子，有的人认为不错，有的人则就认为不是人住的。在帮助的过程中，熟悉当地习惯的老移一般按照当地的习惯办事，但对於新来的人，可能不理解，甚至理解为恶意。
没别的意思，感谢楼上的各位好桶子，但是也不要对自己要求太高。
多年前我的朋友们形成了一个group，也作过这类事，俺也是其中一员，那时还没有CFC，机场接送，帮助新移民安家，帮小留学生课业，但是地域，文化以及家庭背景，经济条件等等的差异，最终使得效果并不理想。
当然，在这个失败的过程中，提供帮助者和被帮助者都没有错，错的只是大家太理想化了。
举个例子，同样的房子，有的人认为不错，有的人则就认为不是人住的。在帮助的过程中，熟悉当地习惯的老移一般按照当地的习惯办事，但对於新来的人，可能不理解，甚至理解为恶意。
没别的意思，感谢楼上的各位好桶子，但是也不要对自己要求太高。
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My two cents:
其实最难的是在开始的几天甚至几周, 刚来的找不到住处, 找不到买中国饭菜的地方, 找不到朋友, 上不了网, 不知道怎么用电话卡打长途, 无法申请到手机或者座机电话... ... 这些平时我们已经taken for granted, 但是对于新来的人则困难万分. 所以我建议, 帮助小组有个侧重点就好, 也用不着大包大拦的什么都管.
另外我建议如果成立什么一对一的帮助小组, 可以考虑把帮助的时间设定为两周到一个月, 这样对提供帮助的人来说, 即使有些不方便或者小困难, 也不过是短暂的. 对于被帮助的人来说, 也有个压力好把要紧的特别需要帮助的事情先办了, 以后尽量独立. 其实有了开始的两周到一个月, 新来的也就独立了, 双方如果能够建立长久的友谊, 这点时间也足够建立友谊的了, 以后再有需要帮忙的自己互相联系也可以了. 如果不能建立友谊, 时间到了大家Bye Bye谁也别觉得拖累了.
最后建议不以房东房客身份凑这个帮助小组. 房东房客之间已经是有利益关系的, 而我们的帮助是不求利益的, 最好不介入利益关系. 只要住的相对近一些, 方便搭车出去买菜办事什么的, 就不错了. 君子之交淡如水, 不涉及利益在内的话, 双方关系都好处的多.
其实最难的是在开始的几天甚至几周, 刚来的找不到住处, 找不到买中国饭菜的地方, 找不到朋友, 上不了网, 不知道怎么用电话卡打长途, 无法申请到手机或者座机电话... ... 这些平时我们已经taken for granted, 但是对于新来的人则困难万分. 所以我建议, 帮助小组有个侧重点就好, 也用不着大包大拦的什么都管.
另外我建议如果成立什么一对一的帮助小组, 可以考虑把帮助的时间设定为两周到一个月, 这样对提供帮助的人来说, 即使有些不方便或者小困难, 也不过是短暂的. 对于被帮助的人来说, 也有个压力好把要紧的特别需要帮助的事情先办了, 以后尽量独立. 其实有了开始的两周到一个月, 新来的也就独立了, 双方如果能够建立长久的友谊, 这点时间也足够建立友谊的了, 以后再有需要帮忙的自己互相联系也可以了. 如果不能建立友谊, 时间到了大家Bye Bye谁也别觉得拖累了.
最后建议不以房东房客身份凑这个帮助小组. 房东房客之间已经是有利益关系的, 而我们的帮助是不求利益的, 最好不介入利益关系. 只要住的相对近一些, 方便搭车出去买菜办事什么的, 就不错了. 君子之交淡如水, 不涉及利益在内的话, 双方关系都好处的多.
最初由 我亦有亭 发布
有道理，而且帮一次两次很容易，如果成为一种责任，需要在一段时间内做些什么，那就是另一种概念了，所以这事如Riven所说，还需从长计议，不过就算有困难，只要有心要做，还是能找到途径和办法的。
向生活中的wind致敬！
千万别致敬，承受不起。
其实，我对我帮助过的人，也些许有点感激，因为他/她给我提供了一个心灵自我提升的机会，自己甚至要被自己感动了。
人说到底还是自私的，包括自愿提供帮助的时候，也或多或少地有那么一点私心，记得捶妮春说过一句话: 别说爱这爱那的，能爱好自己身边的人就不错了。
I guess that nothing is easy. Sometimes I compare myself with those new comers, it's only recently I realize that there is no comparion, because time is so differnet. The time I grew up and environment those new comers grow up is worldly differnet. My daughter is teenage and she was born here. I go great length to understand and tolerate her. Still she thinks that I'm too hard on her. Those new comers, they're not that much older than my daughter, they left comfortable home to persue better future, with or without money in their pockets, they're still kids and life here is hard (especially if you're carrying whole family's wish and glory)
I just wish that we can pass our experience somehow someway to them to make their life easier.
I just wish that we can pass our experience somehow someway to them to make their life easier.
