排队加声望…规则很简单:互加,结果很可观:同涨
- 主题发起人 笑言
- 开始时间
- 注册
- 2004-08-06
- 消息
- 2,329
- 荣誉分数
- 576
- 声望点数
- 273
纪晓岚任礼部侍郎时的某一天.应邀去参加兵部尚书王杰的宴会，有位陈御史也来了，他比纪晓岚大几岁，也是一位生性诙谐、爱好滑稽的人，与王杰、纪晓岚都是莫逆之交，而且气味相投，相互戏谑成习，无所顾忌。
在他们推杯换盏、酒酣耳热之时，厅外有一只家犬徘徊，等候觅食残肴。陈御史一看到狗，触动了灵机，故意向厅外一指，佯问纪晓岚：“是狼是狗？”
纪晓岚一听，知道御史在骂他“侍郎是狗”，他也装糊涂随口答道：“是狗。”
王尚书插嘴问：“你何以知道是狗？”
“狼与狗尾巴有别。”纪晓岚慢条斯理地解释，“下垂为狼，上竖（尚书）是狗！”此语一出，满堂哄然大笑，王尚书被骂得面红耳赤，无词以对。
陈御史笑得连喝进嘴里的酒也喷出来了，一边还指着王尚书说：“你倒是捡了便宜，我本来问是狼（侍郎）是狗？却原来尾巴上竖（尚书）是狗。”说完大笑不止。
“狼狗之别，尚有其二，”大家的笑声稍歇，纪晓岚又接着说，“即看它吃的东西来分辨。大家都知道，狼是非肉不食。狗却不同，狗是遇肉吃肉，遇屎（御史）吃屎！”纪晓岚的话，使刚刚低落下来的笑声，一下子又爆响起来，这一回轮到陈御史面红耳赤了。
.
.
在他们推杯换盏、酒酣耳热之时，厅外有一只家犬徘徊，等候觅食残肴。陈御史一看到狗，触动了灵机，故意向厅外一指，佯问纪晓岚：“是狼是狗？”
纪晓岚一听，知道御史在骂他“侍郎是狗”，他也装糊涂随口答道：“是狗。”
王尚书插嘴问：“你何以知道是狗？”
“狼与狗尾巴有别。”纪晓岚慢条斯理地解释，“下垂为狼，上竖（尚书）是狗！”此语一出，满堂哄然大笑，王尚书被骂得面红耳赤，无词以对。
陈御史笑得连喝进嘴里的酒也喷出来了，一边还指着王尚书说：“你倒是捡了便宜，我本来问是狼（侍郎）是狗？却原来尾巴上竖（尚书）是狗。”说完大笑不止。
“狼狗之别，尚有其二，”大家的笑声稍歇，纪晓岚又接着说，“即看它吃的东西来分辨。大家都知道，狼是非肉不食。狗却不同，狗是遇肉吃肉，遇屎（御史）吃屎！”纪晓岚的话，使刚刚低落下来的笑声，一下子又爆响起来，这一回轮到陈御史面红耳赤了。
.
.
附件
- 注册
- 2002-01-16
- 消息
- 5,925
- 荣誉分数
- 18,522
- 声望点数
- 1,393
The Four Cats !!!
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ..."T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, ... "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat and said .... "Coffee Break ..... do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet ...........
ate the c ookies ...............
drank the milk ..............
sh*t on the paper ....................
screwed the other three cats .....................
claimed he injured his back while doing so ..................
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions ........
put in for Workers Compensation ............... and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave ............. !!!!!!!!!!
