何去何从

[一个伤心的女人]

看这帖字几天了，还是忍不住跳出来说几句。

感觉楼主是千千万万普通女人中的一个，不幸（也许是万幸）的是她心爱的爱人抛弃了她，这是毫无心理准备的。她现阶段的心态（自怜自悲自省）或幻想（爱人回到自己身边）等等，我都觉得正常得不得了，反正我很理解。等作贱自己到最后阶段，终于觉悟了，或给别人疼骂醒悟了，就会回复自我，理性地为自己和孩子重新计划将来，争取最大的利益，好好保护自己和孩子。我坚信楼主会做到的。爱护自己，不断进取，相信楼主以后的生活将是一片新天地。有朝一日回头再看，原来我比他活的更精彩。哈哈哈

很理性，有水准。

 

[ydonly]

实在看不下去了。这位大姐，建议你勇敢，坚强，自私一点点。

第一 这种坏男人不配你对他余情未了。你应该擦干泪，抬起头，挺起胸，每天把自已的生活安排丰富些，身体锻炼得健康些，把自己打扮得精致漂亮些，试着走出困境，找到新的自我，也许你周围有更加珍惜更加适合你的人等着你。

第二 这种坏小三，更不配你为她考虑，让这个名份给她。即使你这么做，人家也不会感激你的。除非你找到了你的新生活，否得的话，不能这么便宜她。她不是重名份吗？就不成全她。

第三 钱有时是万能的，别跟它过不去。

 

[三维人生]

最有魅力的是有自信的人. 人最怕的不是失去他人, 而是失去自己!

你乞求他留下, 得到的怜悯, 鄙视, 失去的是自己.

你放手了,得到的是自尊, 找回的是自信, 保留的是自己!

有的自尊, 自信, 自己, 就会有"栁暗花明又一村."

人生有时要退才可以进!

千万千万别把自己送出去!

 

[三维人生]

You're always the winner if you don't love anyone.
Love is not about winning or losing, it's about caring and forgiving.

I know somewhat I may have lost my mind. I need sometime to think about it. I've wasted so much time on this and I don't know how much more I need.

But what else, I am a person that's indecisive after all.

Thanks to everyone that gave out your opinion, that's priceless to me.

If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? And love starts and ends with respect, self respect above all.

 

[三维人生]

又是一个不眠之夜。现在思维比较混乱，想问问大家的看法。

我觉得多半我们离了婚还是会藕断丝连的，如果我撑不住，又让他来陪我（我是希望不会发生），如果万一发生了，我是不是也变成小三了？ 我知道我既然已经决定退出，就应该走的干净利落，不应该脱泥带水，可万一我做不到呢？

不知道这是不是很不decent。

看看电影"It's complicated."

 

[anna1988]

很理性，有水准。

看了这六个字,我觉得你突然理性起来了,是好事情.

 

[C est La Vie]

最有魅力的是有自信的人. 人最怕的不是失去他人, 而是失去自己!

你乞求他留下, 得到的怜悯, 鄙视, 失去的是自己.

你放手了,得到的是自尊, 找回的是自信, 保留的是自己!

有的自尊, 自信, 自己, 就会有"栁暗花明又一村."

人生有时要退才可以进!

千万千万别把自己送出去!

太经典了！说的太好了！

因为爱就失去自尊， 因为被抛弃就失去了自信，所以，重要的是怎样找回它们。

我没有类似LZ婚姻方面的经历，但却有很多其它方面失败的经历。。。那都是对自己的自信和自爱一次又一次的打击。。。but I can't really kill myself, so I am learning not to let my 'failures' define myself.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KjpyHX7X-o[/media]

GREATEST LOVE OF ALL (Whitney Houston)
I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

Chorus:
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Repeat Chorus

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

 

[C est La Vie]

Gloria Gaynor » I Will Survive Lyrics

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRNGR4TPPo8&feature=related"]YouTube- I Will Survive lyrics - Gloria Gaynor.[/ame]

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

 

[rtfriend]

最有魅力的是有自信的人. 人最怕的不是失去他人, 而是失去自己!

你乞求他留下, 得到的怜悯, 鄙视, 失去的是自己.

你放手了,得到的是自尊, 找回的是自信, 保留的是自己!

有的自尊, 自信, 自己, 就会有"栁暗花明又一村."

人生有时要退才可以进!

千万千万别把自己送出去!

What this lady said is so true!!

I am a man and I can tell you honestly:
seeking for sympathy from a man to give you a share of his love won't work for too long. The best way for you is to erase him from all your mind. From now on, you must learn how to live confidently, beautifully and happily for yourself and your kid. There are lot of ladies who have gone through similar experience and they all can tell you:

Without this guy, you can 活得更精彩 !

 

[一个伤心的女人]

谢谢大家这么关注我的贴子。安慰我也好，骂我也好，鼓励我也好，我都感到很温暖。

你们放心，我不会失去自我，我也不会哀求别人为我做什么。

我想我能掌握好自己的原则。

 

[ccc]

我早就感觉到，楼主是胸有成竹。她来这里＂抛砖引玉＂、＂投石问路＂，是想得到更好的建议、学到更好的招数。

我说过，

其实，看得出来，楼主乃大智若愚之人。

 

[rtfriend]

I fully understand this kind of feeling.
When we are in deep sorrow, we want someone who can really share the feelings but at the same time we want to stay away from most peoples or even some previous friends. Usually we only have the courage to open up to our most trusted friends. LZ has the courage to share this openly, her bravery is really remarkable(I said this sincerely and in a positive sense).

There are so many kind and nice peoples who are willing to offer advices and help, I believe this has reached the point of overwhelming. Now it should be quiet and reflective time for LZ, you know what you should do and only you can decide which path you go. I hope you have very close and mature friends who can help you along. Best wishes!

 

[sherry710427]

虽说大家都劝你离.再找合适的. 哎,在这渥村,又谈何容易

 

[dinglinlin]

这世上没有谁离不开谁的。现在好好为自己和孩子打算将来最实际，不需要自以为是的伟大。

 

[flyingdancing]

这个世界不是只有黑和白，好和坏，对和错。人之所以为人，而不是神，是因为我们并不完美。婚姻的失败，不会只是一个人的问题。这长长十年的婚姻生活，虽然步入艰难，也不应只是指责和怨恨。之所以放不下，是曾经还有过爱，还有过美好甜蜜。痛苦是因为自私。在这种情况下，总有人会受伤害，总有孩子会受委屈。无论是LZ还是小三，互相换个角色，都会体会到对方的痛， 而LZ的老公也未必轻松。他能让LZ牵挂不舍，他能让小三无名生子，总有他的优点。如果把这些看成是一场战争，那么没有赢家。爱并没有错，谁都没有错，只怪人有七情六欲，人又都是自私的。没有良药，只有良言。人最大的敌人是自己， 有时候宽容别人，也就是宽容自己。守护好自己平和和有爱的心吧。用勇气和信心战胜困难，要相信明天会更好，否极泰来。