分享几个我辅导自己孩子英语写作的题目

[raid]

我刚才扫了几眼，撞到这几句。从文法、语法、逻辑角度，怎么看？

At times, there were so many people, that we formed a line to ensure no one got past us.

I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community.

＊＊＊＊ 写文章的小孩已经很好了，请继续努力，不管别人说什么 ＊＊＊＊

下面和村长得瑟。村长，这篇有学术意境了，读上去感觉费力。 我知道我得学习 不如村长讲讲写作的基本要素。

第一句： “so many people" vs "we" 怎么有点，，，“formed a line” 还是该made a line? 没全看，这“got past us” 是什么呀？ 村长，您讲讲，我去找个小板凳听

'

 

[臭农民]

语法是村长强项，路过鼓个掌
嗯，加一句，中文语法书上说用了BECAUSE，不能用WHY，否者语法错

 

[cfcplayer]

My 2 cents:
1st sentence --- I'm not sure what it's trying to express. Does it mean too many people competing with you such that you would get some friends to form a line and block others from passing you??? ....
2nd sentence --- As others have said, "why" is redundant. Also usually "opportunities" are taken/seized/... instead of "participated".

我刚才扫了几眼，撞到这几句。从文法、语法、逻辑角度，怎么看？

At times, there were so many people, that we formed a line to ensure no one got past us.

I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community.

 

[raid]

语法是村长强项，路过鼓个掌
嗯，加一句，中文语法书上说用了BECAUSE，不能用WHY，否者语法错

其实，语言这东西，要想学的象，不光是学咬文嚼字，还要改变思维模式。 484 村长 @ccc

 

[ccc]

改过后intro部分更切题了，body部分的条理也更清楚了。个人觉得on a bigger scale那段要是再提供一些说明志愿者提供的帮助的具体数据就更好了。

这几句，从文法、语法、逻辑角度，怎么看；如果有必要润色，你怎么改？

At times, there were so many people, that we formed a line to ensure no one got past us.

I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community.

 

[ccc]

其实，语言这东西，要想学的象，不光是学咬文嚼字，还要改变思维模式。 484 村长 @ccc

我相信，10年级的学生，他/她大声读一下，自己能改得更好。

所以，我上面问过“谁改的”。

我之所以问，还因为“In essence".

 

[PipiMom]

我刚才扫了几眼，撞到这几句。从文法、语法、逻辑角度，怎么看？

At times, there were so many people, that we formed a line to ensure no one got past us.

I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community.

孩子写作的大毛病之一就是写作口语化。
改的时候我想尽力保持他自己的思维，慢慢的引导启发，这片文章他改了好几遍。 到最后我已精疲力尽。这些错误他确实应该避免的。

 

[PipiMom]

我刚才扫了几眼，撞到这几句。从文法、语法、逻辑角度，怎么看？

At times, there were so many people, that we formed a line to ensure no one got past us.

I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community.

问了孩子。应该是
1。At times, there were so many people that we have to formed a line to ensure no one got past us.
2. I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community. 这个他拒绝修改，因为是演讲作文。“participate in through cadets“他认为没问题。

 

[胡说芝]

难以想象，一个母语不是汉语的外国人，在非汉语国家学习汉语专业，然后到中国留学学汉语，然后汉语写作可以当中国高中生的老师。。。
如果孩子是在加拿大读书读到10年级，难以想象英文写作的作业还需要华人父母修改润色的 （在中国读到高中转学来加拿大的不讨论了）

 

[ccc]

问了孩子。应该是
1。At times, there were so many people that we have to formed a line to ensure no one got past us.
2. I am grateful for all of the volunteer opportunities that I participate in through cadets. Because I know why it’s important to give back to the community. 这个他拒绝修改，因为是演讲作文。“participate in through cadets“他认为没问题。

1) At times, there were so many people that we had to formed a line to ensure no one got past us.
2) 我也认为“participate in through cadets“没问题。问题在其他地方。让他自己read aloud。

 

[ccc]

孩子写作的大毛病之一就是写作口语化。
改的时候我想尽力保持他自己的思维，慢慢的引导启发，这片文章他改了好几遍。 到最后我已精疲力尽。这些错误他确实应该避免的。

演讲作文，我不以为口语化一点是个问题。

 

[胡说芝]

1) At times, there were so many people that we had to formed a line to ensure no one got past us.
2) 我也认为“participate in through cadets“没问题。问题在其他地方。让他自己read aloud。

村长，对你佩服得一浪一浪的，不仅懂热车，这英文更是大牛
备注：不是拍马屁，有例为证：村长，今天我开车出门，先热车，后起步，果然不同
在这里，请容许我跟RAID后面学朝鲜人民喊一句
村长，没有你，我们怎么活

 

[ccc]

村长，对你佩服得一浪一浪的，不仅懂热车，这英文更是大牛
备注：不是拍马屁，有例为证：村长，今天我开车出门，先热车，后起步，果然不同
在这里，请容许我跟RAID后面学朝鲜人民喊一句
村长，没有你，我们怎么活

你就忽悠我吧。

 

[PipiMom]

难以想象，一个母语不是汉语的外国人，在非汉语国家学习汉语专业，然后到中国留学学汉语，然后汉语写作可以当中国高中生的老师。。。
如果孩子是在加拿大读书读到10年级，难以想象英文写作的作业还需要华人父母修改润色的 （在中国读到高中转学来加拿大的不讨论了）

我理解是这边孩子这样的八股文训练很少，他的原文我觉得很上不了台。所以引导他如何构造一篇有条理，讲完能让人记住要点的文章。他改完一次我就问一次，你的要点是什么，用什么支持，上下文如何承接，就是飞来客讲的起承转合。 这些道理用在任何语言上都可以的。这边孩子的写作很需要指导的， 而且这样的指导，在12年级写申请大学的入学散文的时候可以用的很多。

 

[胡说芝]

你就忽悠我吧。

没有忽悠，真热车了。。。


算了，讲实话吧，神马事也瞒不过村长的法眼
是这样的，本来准备直接走，结果LD讲，村长都讲了先热车后走好。。。以下省去100字。。。100字够热车时间了，还是热吧