老外写的怎么跟中国人喝酒

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How to Drink with Chinese
原创 2016-02-19 Shameless Shameless
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Drinking can be a lot of fun, but drinking with Chinese people can be quite tricky. During Chinese new year I attended over 10 drinking occasions with Chinese people and this article is what I learned with my sweat and blood. And vomit.

1. Lower Your Glass
It's a social custom that you lower your glass when cheers-ing people you respect. However, it's also a social custom that you lower your glass when the other lowers their glass for you. You don't want to be seen as an arrogant asshole who holds the glass up straight, so make sure you fight hard to win the Lowering Glass Contest. Whenever someone makes a toast to you, throwing yourself on the floor immediately is a safe defense move, but feel free to choke his neck and make him pass out - it's never too much to defend your humility.



2. Keep Up Your Pace
You prefer sipping your red wine slowly and quietly in the corner? Sorry, you are walking into the wrong party. At every Chinese drinking occasion there’s a guy in control of everyone's pace. He decides what you drink, when you drink, how much you drink, and who you drink with - he is the DJ (Drinking Jockey). A DJ is like a predator at the table - whoever looks him in the eye will die. Watch out for these warning signs: "If you’re a man, drink up!" "If you give me face, drink up!" "If you don't drink... Drink up!"



3. Vomit On The Table
Vomiting is embarrassing most of the time, but when you are drinking with Chinese, to drink until you vomit is a valuable virtue. It means you've overcome your own limit and become your own God - you've become immortal. When a man throws up at the drinking table, his friends adore him, his boss values him, and the girl whom he vomits on falls in love with him. Even thousands of years have passed, people will still be talking about the epic day: "Remember when he vomited like a fountain? Wasn't it beautiful?"



4. Don't Forget To Chui Niu Bi
The easiest way to infiltrate into a Chinese group is to get drunk and enjoy Chui Niu Bi (brag) together. However there are exquisite rules for what you brag about and it can be dangerous if you bring up the wrong topic. You may brag about how many people you've beaten up if you're in the northeast, but what helps blowing up the Niu Bi in the south may be how much you make from stocks. However, a universal topic for Chinese is politics and the government - everyone agrees it's the best!



Thanks for reading this article, and I hope that you've recovered from the Chinese new year drinking feast. We all know that alcohol kills people, but how many were born because of it? :0


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4525
Grace

Hahaha ChuiNiuBi=say something cool
昨天
4304
Cora

公众号文章的风格是简单明了,却又朗朗上口。我喜欢。
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作者回复
我也喜欢
昨天
4082
Lake

"Sorry, I'm allergic to alcohol." "That would be great, the wine can fix you up! "
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3293
Echenc

lol, but how many were born because of it!!!
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2900
提姆菌

如何一本正经地胡说八道[emoji276][emoji274][emoji275]
昨天
2746
安静的姑娘备注御姐

chiu niu bi is the art of speaking
昨天
2459
徐奕斌_Dream Gameloft

To save yourself from the drink, you have to drink up 5 times with the DJ in one time for the first glance, then he will never come back to challenge you.
昨天
1867
Freddie

hahaha, we once lowered the glasses to the ground and both still would't give up.[emoji23] It's a way of respect, en nonsense way.
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作者回复
RESPECT
昨天
1557
Emily

You are suuuurper funny, wish you get more laid that you deserve!!!!
昨天
1547
KEiKO

Wtf vomit on the table hhhhhh看到这儿我才反应过来不对劲儿 差点儿分享了 歪日 要是别人当真了简直完蛋
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作者回复
恭喜你领会了本号的精髓
昨天
1500
MrJoker

The process of making a toast could be rather long and the toast-maker could be so fussy.So generally I will reverse my glass withits bottom up to show that I drink every drop of alcohol.You can't be too careful to defeat your adiversity on the table.
昨天
1141
孙雪晶

“However, a universal topic for Chinese is politics and the government - everyone agrees it's the best!” Not really. it should be "everyone agrees that he can outdo most of the government officials, even Xi Dada."
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作者回复
@internet Cop, please arrest this one
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1112
林昱

神配图!四大名著!宝玉成人图绝了!
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1095
小栗子

不是的,吐了还是很尴尬的,大多数吹牛逼也是很让人反感的,然后,不是所有人认为政府是最棒的,可能是有外国人才会这么说吧
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873
紧张大师

有一次我同事吐在了火锅里
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680
...|季

Chui Niu Bi hahaha~DJ hahaha~宝玉配图,哈哈哈~不行了,我要去喝点酒压压惊
11小时前
666
K

3 kinds of people you don't wanna mess with on a drinking table: pill swallowers, they claim to be so weak that they need to swallow pills before drinking, but end up drinking much more than anyone in a hickup; pigtails, i.e. women, lurk silently on the table, yet deliver mortal strike on anyone daring to challenge them; flushers, turn on a red face seconds after their first shot, and keep that look with endless rounds until you lose your consciousness.
10小时前
395
爱国敬业徐泽伟

Hahaha Chui niu bi =tree new bee=树新风
8小时前
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Chui Niu Bi
 
When a man throws up at the drinking table, his friends adore him, his boss values him, and the girl whom he vomits on falls in love with him.


听上去很可笑,但似乎是事实:D
 
作者写得挺搞笑的,年轻时经常出差各种饭局,作者观察得算是挺准确的嘛,特别是那三种要提防的人,我认识一公斤级的妹子,不知道喝趴了多少自诩酒量不错的好汉,呵呵。。。:D
 
作者写得挺搞笑的,年轻时经常出差各种饭局,作者观察得算是挺准确的嘛,特别是那三种要提防的人,我认识一公斤级的妹子,不知道喝趴了多少自诩酒量不错的好汉,呵呵。。。:D
酒量最厉害的就是妹子,很多傻帽有眼不识孙二娘,想灌醉人妹子,结果自己先钻桌子底下了。
中国喝酒文化总的来讲,就是一定要灌醉你的文化,精神病
 
Whenever someone makes a toast to you, throwing yourself on the floor immediately is a safe defense move, but feel free to choke his neck and make him pass out - it's never too much to defend your humility.
What the XX is this? I don't know that you can choke someone and make him pass out.
 
酒量最厉害的就是妹子,很多傻帽有眼不识孙二娘,想灌醉人妹子,结果自己先钻桌子底下了。
中国喝酒文化总的来讲,就是一定要灌醉你的文化,精神病

特别是说不太会喝酒的妹子,某次有一北方客户团来访,其中有一妹子苗条斯文轻声细语说不怎么喝酒的,单位几个酒量大的就主攻对方几个看似能喝的了,结果已经喝得快晕的时候,那妹子端着酒杯说感谢这边的热情款待先干为敬,一个说法来三杯,再换个说法再三杯,再再换个说法再三杯,都是先干为敬的那种呀,这边的几条好汉哪个傻眼呀,最后没有一个能自己走着出去的。

我不喝酒,说不喝就不喝,任凭别人怎么说不喝就是不喝,说酒精过敏,几次过后人们都记住我酒精过敏不喝酒,所以我一路吃过来全身而退。

国内劝酒的“文化”是很奇怪,好像就是以灌醉为目的,以让人喝醉出丑为乐似的,没人劝酒还觉得没面子,劝人酒不喝也觉得没面子,喝不过别人也觉得没面子,经常听人好像很不情愿的说又要去或正在喝酒应酬了,说得人听起来好像为难但是扭捏中有种暗暗的自豪。难道男人从这种“酒文化”中能找到种认可感被重视感被尊重感? 我不是男人,体会不了。我每次就是坐在那里,做个安静的吃肉的女子,N多年都安全混过来了。:D
 
特别是说不太会喝酒的妹子,某次有一北方客户团来访,其中有一妹子苗条斯文轻声细语说不怎么喝酒的,单位几个酒量大的就主攻对方几个看似能喝的了,结果已经喝得快晕的时候,那妹子端着酒杯说感谢这边的热情款待先干为敬,一个说法来三杯,再换个说法再三杯,再再换个说法再三杯,都是先干为敬的那种呀,这边的几条好汉哪个傻眼呀,最后没有一个能自己走着出去的。

我不喝酒,说不喝就不喝,任凭别人怎么说不喝就是不喝,说酒精过敏,几次过后人们都记住我酒精过敏不喝酒,所以我一路吃过来全身而退。

国内劝酒的“文化”是很奇怪,好像就是以灌醉为目的,以让人喝醉出丑为乐似的,没人劝酒还觉得没面子,劝人酒不喝也觉得没面子,喝不过别人也觉得没面子,经常听人好像很不情愿的说又要去或正在喝酒应酬了,说得人听起来好像为难但是扭捏中有种暗暗的自豪。难道男人从这种“酒文化”中能找到种认可感被重视感被尊重感? 我不是男人,体会不了。我每次就是坐在那里,做个安静的吃肉的女子,N多年都安全混过来了。:D
不懂那些男人的想法,我也不理解太监讨老婆,甚至还有好几房。
 
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