痛苦不堪，真心寻求帮助和建议，请多回贴

[wjg18]

离!!!!

 

[Concrete]

还是有一定影响的;但是也不能以偏盖全
CULTURE很重要的

最初由 Fion 发布
我想这样的男人哪里都会有，和是不是上海人没什么直接关联。
一个男人如果在钱的方面特别敏感，对于自己的另一半隐瞒收入， 以及在房产问题上动脑筋的话，那么说明他对你连基本的信任和尊重都没有。如果婚姻中连最基本的信任都没有，那还谈什么其他的呢？希望楼主能够妥善处理好这些事情，还有，不要太难过，不值得！

 

[LV APPLE]

居然有这种LG,把钱看的比你还重.

 

[老鼠木之皮皮]

晕。。偶老公也是上海的。。可是我觉得他很好啊。。至少没和我计较过钱什么的。。。
楼主的情况。如果老公对你戒心这么重。。早早立好遗嘱。。甚至财产分配都想好了。。我觉得还是离的好。。夫妻间重要的就是信任。。老公总是处处提防着你。。活着不累吗。。你对他的信任也会比以前降低的不是么。。

 

[zhangwang]

最初由 colonel 发布

不止做饭，既然这个房子表明你不是主人，那么打扫，擦洗都要钱

suggestions:
find a freind to enjoy your happy life.
linstrongling@yahoo.ca

 

[白云蓝天]

不同意.不合就早离.不要浪费青春.

最初由 ashvalley 发布
为了孩子,千万不要离.慢慢痛吧.

 

[fixer]

your husband is afraid of lossing you,but he is trying to save his money in an wrong way. Examnie your own behaviour and talk to your husband. Don't say you want to divoice without careful thinking

 

[la vista]

照这般说法，这段婚姻就算完了！不好玩。

 

[Clo]

I knew some men are like that, their "family value" is that never let a woman to touch the money, because too many "stories" about women taking over properties... My friend's parents are like that too, the mother can spend the money but she does not "own" the money... they are a happy family though, 所以也不用太悲观

 

[皮皮狼]

长了见识了
积累了不少经验
以后肯定用得着

 

[niaoniaocat]

我在上海生活过很长的时间，学习工作了很多年。还是很喜欢上海的啊：客观的说，上海的老公很温柔，也很顾家的。但细心发展到另一个方向就成为劣根性了：自私与狭隘！好象事物的两个面一样：我觉得嫁给上海老公的唯一方针就是一定要学会上海女孩的柔媚的驭夫之道。大家不要误解啊，我也很尊重上海女孩的。我真的觉得对待丈夫一定要爱到底，但不能失去理智和自尊。红楼梦里不是说了么：不是东风压了西风，就是西风压了东风！

在上海那样的城市环境里，那样仔细的性格是可以理解的。我们不要苛则别人，要看到他们的好。当然，上海人喜欢吵架是天生的吧，我就在公车上锻炼过，滔滔不绝如绵绵江水，逻辑性很强，至少看上去很强，不去做律师真的亏了。但是，嘿嘿，人家很少和我们这些喜欢动粗的人谈的！每当俺张牙舞爪的时候，上海人一般都理智的撤退了！

kool确实很讨厌，象极了那种怀坏的上海人，不过对于牙床发达的人来说，可以联系一下胡搅蛮缠的口才啊。搂主那样的老公，就是要专政以下他，就老实了。否则，未来很让人担心啊！靠法律来维系自己的权利吧！

 

[happysappy]

I asked my White co-workers how to deal with this situation. They suggest that you hire a lawyer(you might not descript all the espects in CFC), ask your lawyer how to get your portion of the house after one year living together just in case he divorce you later on.

On another hand, you can buy a small apartment if you can, the apartment is for renting. By law, that's the only way to make sure that this apartment will belong to yourself even you divorce later on. Ask your hb to sign a paper saying that this apartment belong to yourself and see how he react. If you can not get the morgage, your income is too low to work. Stay at home to take care of your baby. In this case, your hb has to pay all. Give yourself sometime to see if your hb really take care of you. If not, do not hesitate to leave him alone. Women are independant in this country. Your husband will pay for your baby in anyways, and he has to pay for you for few years. Remember that children are always get hurt the most from bad marriage. It's really hard for single mother too....you do not have any relative can help you when there is a need. If you keep the marriage, at least your hb will take good care of your child, paying everything, that won't happy to any man actively other than your baby's dad...Try to let your hb to buy you RRSP, buy your child RESP...

In one word, Do not divorce before negotiate. Try to understand your hb exactly and then react diplomatically.

 

[anyone8chatroom]

agree, think how to win before any battle start

 

[否极泰来]

搂住扔下一帖就隐身了，也不知事情解决得怎么样？

 

[雨思]

Thanks all of you

Thanks for all of you.

First of all, I don't have any discrimination to 上海人, just his parents is so proud of 上海人 and have discrimination for 北方人. This made me feel not comfortable. Sorry for the misleading.

Second, Thanks all of you. Life is still moving on, just it makes me stronger. What I have been through is a abnormal experience, but it is also a story of life.

I got so many help from you and learned how to protect myself. Believe me, Life really makes me stronger.

Thanks again for all your caring.

雨思