痛苦不堪，真心寻求帮助和建议，请多回贴

[nativebell]

Re: Thanks all of you

最初由 雨思 发布
Thanks for all of you.

First of all, I don't have any discrimination to 上海人, just his parents is so proud of 上海人 and have discrimination for 北方人. This made me feel not comfortable. Sorry for the misleading.

Second, Thanks all of you. Life is still moving on, just it makes me stronger. What I have been through is a abnormal experience, but it is also a story of life.

I got so many help from you and learned how to protect myself. Believe me, Life really makes me stronger.

Thanks again for all your caring.

雨思

Fairly speaking, Your original post has made lots of people having a wrong image on whole 上海人, even though 上海人 are among the those who care most for their family members.

Also in your original post, you cried for your husband's not sharing the ownership of the house with you. It had nothing to do with any discrimation on 北方人.

Every case is unique. I know quite a few 北方人 discrimating on 上海人 But for majority, people are friendly to each other.

Your post has caused wild debate and imagation. Frankly, just for so many helps from other people, you should feedback to us in more details instead of abstract comments and conclusions. Doing this will clarify lots of doubts and wrong assumptions and probably lets others learn something when encountering the same situation.

All in all, I wish that you and your husband united in your two hearts again and best wishes for your whole family in the future!

 

[cd2002]

你需要北方汉子宽宽的肩膀来依靠，联系我吧。

远离上海人，幸福一辈子。

 

[nativebell]

Re: 你需要北方汉子宽宽的肩膀来依靠，联系我吧。

最初由 cd2002 发布
远离上海人，幸福一辈子。

I don't know what to say.


http://www.comefromchina.com/newbbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=96128

 

[风中散发]

不能签

我认为你先生这么做太过分了,绝对不能签字. 对待看钱重的人你也得把钱看得重点,不然以后吃亏的就是你.

 

[cfhk]

I got few things to ask:

1. It seems that your husband loves your child since he puts down your son's name as the beneficiary. Normally, a will should have two conditions: if one of the spouses die, the surviving spouse will be the sole beneficiary. If both die, their children will be named the beneficiary.

In your case, it should not be your husband's will. The lawyer should do a will to cover both of you and not only your husband.

I heard of a case of my friend. His wife took care of all the finincial thing and the husband even don't know which bank account they have. They don't have any will. His wife suddenly dies of heart-attack. This husband is in deep trouble since all the bank accounts are not in his name. He can't gain access to the bank or withdraw any money even though he is the only making money. The bank won't let him touch any money unless they got a will to cover his right.

For your case, if your husband dies one day and your child is not 21-year old, you won't be able to get access to his bank account if you don't have a joint will to cover each other. This is Canadian law. In the end, you will need to go through a long process and pay all the fees and tax to government get access to the bank.

2. About your house. If this is your principal house, even if the house only has your husband name, you own 50% by default when you and your husband divorce. I think your husband understands this very clearly. That is why he added his dad's name into the ownership. This means that you are entitled to 25% of the house ownership only by default (50% goes to his dad and his owns 50%).

I don't know why your husband does this. Does it mean that he also has trust issue with you? Do you like to go out shopping and partying a lot? What I can say is that your husband does care about your child. He is doing something to protect your child in case something does happen.

There seems to be a TRUST issue in this marriage! You two need to sit down and TALK about each other's feeling.


Anyway, every couple with a child should always prepare a will regardless of your age. This is like buying car insurance to protect your family!

 

[Yidiandian]

Re: Thanks all of you

最初由 雨思 发布
Thanks for all of you.

First of all, I don't have any discrimination to 上海人, just his parents is so proud of 上海人 and have discrimination for 北方人. This made me feel not comfortable. Sorry for the misleading.

Second, Thanks all of you. Life is still moving on, just it makes me stronger. What I have been through is a abnormal experience, but it is also a story of life.

I got so many help from you and learned how to protect myself. Believe me, Life really makes me stronger.

Thanks again for all your caring.

雨思

Don't listen to anyone, try to ask yourself a few question:
Are you really happy with him?
Do you really want to spend whole your life with him?
If you are not happy, do you think your son will be really happy?Oprah said something: happy is not sometimes, happy is almost time.
Remember one thing, listen to yourself!
Before my Mom dead, she said: if you married to a wrong person,don't like me try too keep the marriage whole my life! I don't want one day you say it to your son.

 

[dinosean]

Sorry that I'm not really know about your family situation and your husband but can you about my question below if you really want to solve your problem? Do you think you will happy with your son after divorce because of this? Will you get anything if you divorce?

I prefer "stay silent, think carefully and talk nicely' to them. If you really not happy, just concentrate on taking care of your son. Grow him well, I'm sure your son will get back double or triple of all you want.

Believe me!!! my situation also not that good, but I do my way to please everybody, grow my son well, I think my son can get whatever he wants one day, i dont think my son will treat me bad. Just invest your life on your son, and live happily with your son. Your son will love you. Once you happy, everything good will come to you.

I'm sure your son will be very sad in the future and may blame you divorce because of this matter. He lost his family and doesnt have happy childhoodbecause of YOU. Think carefully. Children has no fault.

Anyway, wish you have a happy day always Smile....

 

[happy_firedragon]

把这个网址给他让他读一读， 看看他反应如何， 然后在思考下一步。

 

[happy_firedragon]

第一个贴子的内容及目的不是在讨论上海人。
斑竹是能否设一个吵架坛子供撒气用。

 

[kao la]

哎。。。 。。。。。。。。。 钱看的比老婆还重要。。。。。 还要防着老婆 真TMD。。。看了就不爽
娶老婆干吗啊 抱着钱过一辈子不就好了。

 

[aiya]

agree

最初由 kao la 发布
哎。。。 。。。。。。。。。 钱看的比老婆还重要。。。。。 还要防着老婆 真TMD。。。看了就不爽
娶老婆干吗啊 抱着钱过一辈子不就好了。

 

[DaoDao]

Ha:
Don't worry in Canada once you got marry the 1/2 house will be yours. By Law.

 

[o0o0]

够自私的。刚开始为什么结婚呢。MS没什么感情只是觉得合适。

 

[hongdixu]

我能理解你老公的,他自我保护能力太强了,太重视钱了.这也没有什么.你也可以这样的,把钱看紧点,比他更厉害.
不用痛苦,真的,因为你们夫妻感情还好吧,就可以了,想那么多干嘛.哎,房子哪有人重要呢?我也是上海人,我觉得自己就太傻太傻了,连个人都看不住,我太悲伤了.你也很悲伤吧.不过,让我们化悲痛为力量吧,一切都会好的.

 

[uknowhat]

对！
从今以后所有的财产都必须在你的名下，把他老爸老妈赶走。每次工资都要交给你，他想买什么都要你批准，心要很。一分钱都不多给他。
这种人就要这样对付他，让他天天跪在你面前象孩子一样哭泣。
不然就离婚，孩子归你，财产分三分之二!