I don't know what to do, please help

  • 主题发起人 主题发起人 Kat
  • 开始时间 开始时间
想当孝子,和老婆离婚
想当好老公,把父母赶走
做男人,难
:(
 
孝顺父母是应该的, 但为了孝顺父母而冷落老婆就不应该了.
 
自古道,忠孝不能两全
没办法
:(
 
If your bf/husband is such weak in terms of bridging relationship between you and his parents, very likely he doesn't value much of you. If you have no voice in a relationship/family, you have nothing.
 
典型的中国式教育的产物,不知道到底自己要什么样的爱情和生活。说一句很多人不爱听的话,少替别人想,多想想自己吧。
 
many thanks to those who commented.

i think, the reasons his mum doesn't like me are as below:

1. they are from northern part of China, while i'm from the South. We have many different values.

2. his mum thinks that i'm too short for her son. His son is not tall, but his mum wants to have a tall daughter-in-law so that their future grandson/daughters can have a better height

3. His son thinks that i'm not as pretty and attractive as before, and he prefers to have a forever beauty (at least as long as she can be).

4. his son is kind of a man who likes to control everything and easy to get mad. But i tried to bear his temper, since i hate to argue with him which would just make things worse. However, in his mum's point of view, i should always bear his temper no matter what happens. But, once, i happened to seriously argued with his son in front of his parent once. Actually before i fighted with his son, i knew i should bear, especially his parents are here. but i couldnt' help myself fighting back. since it's much beyond my bear point. This made them very unsatisfied since in thier opnions, i should always bear, bear, and bear (i meant, 'Ren' in Chinese, in case i spelled it wrong).

I think again and again these days regarding our relationship. i could not even sleep at nights. And i recently keep having serious headache due to this reason. i'm really sad since we've been togehter for so many years, but now i can see that many things have changed. I thought i could let go, but in fact it's hard for me to do so.. i sometimes hate myself that much since i'm too 'Ruan Ruo'

Maybe some of you are rite, i should walk out of this relationship and restart my new life.
 
It is never too late to start anew.

It doesn't seem that either your boyfriend (I assume you are not married yet), nor his parents have any respect for you at all. What's the point of staying if you are not being respected? Love and respect are two way streets. Do you feel being loved? Do you have any respect to them? I doubt so. You should learn to love and think for yourself! I am sure you are a wonderful person and deserve much better.
 
最初由 PQPQ 发布
想当孝子,和老婆离婚
想当好老公,把父母赶走
做男人,难
:(

典型的中国式教育的产物 (引用,happyme),高喊着"做男人,难", 让女人做出牺牲:或者老婆失去丈夫,或者母亲失去儿子.
 
最初由 LazySusan 发布


典型的中国式教育的产物 (引用,happyme),高喊着"做男人,难", 让女人做出牺牲:或者老婆失去丈夫,或者母亲失去儿子.
哎,你应该能看出来我是在引导她体谅一下她老公。
她说的只是她一面之词,一定还有另一版本,就是她婆婆的
你想啊,她婆婆用尽一生的心血培养出的儿子就这样被另一个女人夺走了。占有了,还经常提出一些白痴问题难为她儿子,like “我和你妈掉河里,你先救谁?”,怎能不叫她难过,老泪纵横。
依我看,亲戚远来香
他父母探亲的时候单独另住,问题就解决了
看我多么用心良苦啊,wuwuwu...,自己都被感动乐。
 
Why not invite your parents here? then you are equal.
 
最初由 gdntfrank 发布
Why not invite your parents here? then you are equal.
that will make the problem even worse
 
最初由 PQPQ 发布

that will make the problem even worse

how can it becomes worse as it is already so bad? You have to change sth and make sth happen in this relationship.
 
最初由 gdntfrank 发布


how can it becomes worse as it is already so bad? You have to change sth and make sth happen in this relationship.

Oh boy, it definately can get a lot worse!
这不明摆着激化矛盾么?

不知道楼主有没有读过《双面胶》。没读过的话建议读一读。CFC上应该有人帖过的。
 
my parents can't come since they need to take care of my grandmother. Besides, i also believe if they come, it will make things even worse, since my parents must stand by my side and support me. They might fight for me as well. Personally, i dont' want to put my parents into trouble and i dont' want them to worry about me.

dear mou mou, i haven't read that article yet.
:(
 
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