ask for poll (教育问题)

[uglyducking]

in further,
"但A说已经promise B"
if A mom insist A not to lend money to B, what kind of behavior model you think A mom is presenting to A?

 

[jiejie]

In this case it is hard to say whether "learning from mistakes" was the original intent of motherA, the key words are "但A说已经promise B", that was the reason for motherA to give in. The problem is how to prioritize the learning points, "keeping the promises" OR "staying firm to protect yourself", which also lead to another learning point "when NOT to make promises". At this point of time, it is an opportunity for both A and motherA to learn. In the case of B, under the guidance of motherB, B's creditability also sacrifices from this incident, but not B's financial benefits. This could be a vivid case in real society - that is why it is very difficult - it is all about choices, do you want to set up a role model for your kid who do not know how to protect him/herself, or do you want them to protect themselves first. No trying to be cynical, but self-protection would be my priority when it comes to teach my children.

keywords: 引导, 坚持, 很难
sometime kids learn from their mistakes better from 成年人引导. that might be the reason why A妈 knew A might not get the money back but still let A made decision to lend the money to A's friend B after A妈 told A that possibility.

in further,
"但A说已经promise B"
if A mom insist A not to lend money to B, what kind of behavior model you think A mom is presenting to A?

 

[CanChn]

ccb

 

[uglyducking]

very well said 'lead to another learning point "when NOT to make promises"'. Or if the promise is made, better to keep it. totally agree with you regarding 'it is an opportunity for both A and motherA to learn'. self-protection is an important aspect for children education, but risk-taking is another aspect that kids need to learn. it's very hard to balance between safe-risk, so it's more important to let the kids learn how to make judgment and take proper action.

 

[jiejie]

I agree with your statement in principle. I think risk taking is less relevant in this case.

self-protection is an important aspect for children education, but risk-taking is another aspect that kids need to learn. it's very hard to balance between safe-risk, so it's more important to let the kids learn how to make judgment and take proper action.

 

[乐极生悲]

cc a/b?

 

[graceliuzhang]

为什么B妈的行为是可以理解的呢？我除了“林子大了什么鸟都有”，就理解不出别的来了。

B妈已经明确表示不支持B孩子买书，而A孩子在和妈妈商量后还借钱给B孩子，B妈对孩子的管理遭到破坏，B妈还算REASONABLE还书给A.

 

[黑郁金香]

现在的孩子不诚信的太多，俺儿的同学，我们还住邻居，跟俺儿借钱买午餐，PROMISS说借5块还六块，一定还，俺儿子说就还5块就好，结果这小子以后看到俺儿跟没事人似的，俺儿一天忘带午餐，问他要钱说没带，俺儿面皮薄，看见他带了很多钱也不好意思跟他提。

 

[jiejie]

点到关键点了，当自己利益被侵犯的时候该怎么办 - 忍气吞声息事宁人，还是把争取自身的合理利益/权利当作理所当然的事情，或者防范于未然。都是家长的难题啊，更不用说孩子了。

现在的孩子不诚信的太多，俺儿的同学，我们还住邻居，跟俺儿借钱买午餐，PROMISS说借5块还六块，一定还，俺儿子说就还5块就好，结果这小子以后看到俺儿跟没事人似的，俺儿一天忘带午餐，问他要钱说没带，俺儿面皮薄，看见他带了很多钱也不好意思跟他提。

 

[Jalise]

BCA

 

[uglyducking]

I think one thing A mom might forget to tell A is, B mom must have a reason not allow B to buy book at the book fair and A should respect B mom's decision.

 

[littlenine]

Lesson for A

想了几条A应该学到的Lesson。欢迎补充。
1）在借给别人钱之前需要慎重考虑，不能轻易承诺。
2）如果承诺，需要守信用但也要明白，借出去的钱是有风险的，可能会lose。
3) 在这种情况下，知道他 妈妈不同意他买书，借给他钱会有很大风险,不应该借.
4) 在这种情况下，知道他 妈妈不同意他买书, 借给他钱会 make his mom sad，就应该respect 他妈妈的决定而不应该promise。
5）在这种情况下，同学借钱是买书，which is for good use，如果借钱是for bad use，比如买drug，就一定不能借！
6）在任何情况下如果有bully行为，不能借，要说no。
7）在任何情况下,如果不想借，要学会说no。
8) 一个人的credit 很重要
9) 自己如果没有偿还能力就不要去向别人借钱。