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每次看这个宿命＂乐观＂滴流浪汉，心里都有种的悲伤。。
The diary of a homeless man
- 主题发起人 山阳手
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- 2011-03-16
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A guy and two girls walked up to me.
In the beginning I didn't see the guy since the two girls were so pretty. Asian hotties. One wore a delicate purple winter coat, nice sexy legs and red high heels. The other wore a red bomber jacket and black jeans. Nice butt.
Then I saw this guy. He wore a pink jacket, sort of weird for a guy, but hey, nothing weirder than what I've seen. Tell ya, I've seen weirdos you wouldn't believe.
When the guy approached me, I realized that this is a familiar face, and within a few seconds, I remembered that this is the guy, the talkative one of the two, who took me to the movie last time!
"Hey Pal!" I greeted before he started talking.
"You remember me!" he smiled.
"Of course! How have you been?"
"Couldn't be better."
"So, what brought you back to this shit hole?"
"You." he laughed.
At that moment, I knew, from the way he laughed, that this gonna be a fun day. Like last time. I am a smart man, you wouldn't believe.
"So, what is up this time?" I got curious.
"We are taking you to a dinner and some booze".
" And of course, I need to do something, Pal?" I wanted to show him how smart I am.
"Smarty!" He patted my shoulder, "let's go!"
"Wait," I said, "how much do I get this time?"
"The same as last time. Meal, booze and Forty dollars." the guy said.
"Come on, fellas, it is Christmas!" I knew these freaking rich people never minded spending money on pranks.
"OK, another 20 dollars." The high-heel girl said. Her voice was so sweet.
"Alright, I am all yours!" I am not a greedy man, and I know when to stop.
"OK, let's first have you cleaned up." The guy said.
I was a bit surprised. This seemed to be a different game.
In the beginning I didn't see the guy since the two girls were so pretty. Asian hotties. One wore a delicate purple winter coat, nice sexy legs and red high heels. The other wore a red bomber jacket and black jeans. Nice butt.
Then I saw this guy. He wore a pink jacket, sort of weird for a guy, but hey, nothing weirder than what I've seen. Tell ya, I've seen weirdos you wouldn't believe.
When the guy approached me, I realized that this is a familiar face, and within a few seconds, I remembered that this is the guy, the talkative one of the two, who took me to the movie last time!
"Hey Pal!" I greeted before he started talking.
"You remember me!" he smiled.
"Of course! How have you been?"
"Couldn't be better."
"So, what brought you back to this shit hole?"
"You." he laughed.
At that moment, I knew, from the way he laughed, that this gonna be a fun day. Like last time. I am a smart man, you wouldn't believe.
"So, what is up this time?" I got curious.
"We are taking you to a dinner and some booze".
" And of course, I need to do something, Pal?" I wanted to show him how smart I am.
"Smarty!" He patted my shoulder, "let's go!"
"Wait," I said, "how much do I get this time?"
"The same as last time. Meal, booze and Forty dollars." the guy said.
"Come on, fellas, it is Christmas!" I knew these freaking rich people never minded spending money on pranks.
"OK, another 20 dollars." The high-heel girl said. Her voice was so sweet.
"Alright, I am all yours!" I am not a greedy man, and I know when to stop.
"OK, let's first have you cleaned up." The guy said.
I was a bit surprised. This seemed to be a different game.
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I did not say anything, thinking I would know the game plan anyways.
They took me to a condo near Pub 101. The guy showed me the bathroom and said, "Take a bath". Staring at me up and down, he added, "and take your TIME taking the bath!" He laughed and threw me some clothes, "you can wear these, they are new."
It took me a good hour to finish the bath, where I used half bottle of his shampoo and half bottle of his body wash soap. He is rich, and I am sure he wouldn't mind.
When I put on the new shirts and pants and stood in front of a mirror, I could not recognize myself!
"Wow, looking sharp!" the red jacket girl said to me. This was the first time I heard her talking. Her voice were happy and pleasant, making me want to give her a kiss.
"But sharp is not what we want you." the high heel giggled, "We want you to be SUPER COOL!".
We then left the condo, and the guy drove us to a barber's shop. They had my face shaved, had my hair dyed in seven different colours. Then the barber made my hair into a huge mohawk. The girls also each got a new hairdo, making them look funky and even hotter.
The guy then asked me if I'd like to have piercings. I said "why not?". They then took me to a piercing place and had my nose and lips pierced. That was cool. When we walked towards his car, for the first time in my life, I felt that I was an attraction on the street. Girls were looking at me, guys were looking at me, punks were looking at me... That felt real good!
In his car, the guy got a blonde pony-tail wig from his glove box, and put it on. The girls couldn't help laughing. "That is so not you!"
The guy looked at himself in the rear-view mirror and chuckled, "You know what, I actually like it! Maybe I should wear this more often."
"We ready?" he asked.
"Sure. Let's rock it!" The high heel was really excited.
Then they all put on a pair of black sun glasses, like secret agents, no, actually more like high-class gangsters. The guy started the car, and, zoom, we flew like a wind.
They took me to a condo near Pub 101. The guy showed me the bathroom and said, "Take a bath". Staring at me up and down, he added, "and take your TIME taking the bath!" He laughed and threw me some clothes, "you can wear these, they are new."
It took me a good hour to finish the bath, where I used half bottle of his shampoo and half bottle of his body wash soap. He is rich, and I am sure he wouldn't mind.
When I put on the new shirts and pants and stood in front of a mirror, I could not recognize myself!
"Wow, looking sharp!" the red jacket girl said to me. This was the first time I heard her talking. Her voice were happy and pleasant, making me want to give her a kiss.
"But sharp is not what we want you." the high heel giggled, "We want you to be SUPER COOL!".
We then left the condo, and the guy drove us to a barber's shop. They had my face shaved, had my hair dyed in seven different colours. Then the barber made my hair into a huge mohawk. The girls also each got a new hairdo, making them look funky and even hotter.
The guy then asked me if I'd like to have piercings. I said "why not?". They then took me to a piercing place and had my nose and lips pierced. That was cool. When we walked towards his car, for the first time in my life, I felt that I was an attraction on the street. Girls were looking at me, guys were looking at me, punks were looking at me... That felt real good!
In his car, the guy got a blonde pony-tail wig from his glove box, and put it on. The girls couldn't help laughing. "That is so not you!"
The guy looked at himself in the rear-view mirror and chuckled, "You know what, I actually like it! Maybe I should wear this more often."
"We ready?" he asked.
"Sure. Let's rock it!" The high heel was really excited.
Then they all put on a pair of black sun glasses, like secret agents, no, actually more like high-class gangsters. The guy started the car, and, zoom, we flew like a wind.
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When the car stopped at this restaurant, it was already dark.
Christmas lights twinkled on the roofs, on the treetops, and on the store windows. This was a neighbourhood I had never been to. Jewellry stores, brand names, high-end restaurants and pubs were all over the street.
On our way here, I was told the plan of the night. It could be a challenge for me, but I am a smart man and, hey, what do I have to lose? and it would be fun to do something special, to be some one different, and, don't forget, to have a real nice meal. -- After all, this is Christmas Eve.
Nights are cold at this time of the year. We got off the car and quickly ran into the restaurant.
This was a nice restaurant, beautifully decorated. An old Christmas tune was playing softly. It was this deep voice singing "I am dreaming ... of a white ... Christmas...", making the place feel cozy, peaceful and romantic. All of a sudden, a strange idea came to me. It would be nice to have a girlfriend and take her here on a date.
A waiter walked up, "Good evening, did you have a reservation?"
The guy answered, "Yes, I spoke to Bob on the phone and yes, we had a reservation".
The waiter smiled, "yes, you are Mr Hand?"
"No, Doctor, Doctor Hand." The guy looked very serious.
The girls giggled.
The waiter looked at him, and then at me, a suspicious smirk on his face. "Yes, Dr Hand. Bob had it all arranged. Please come with me."
He led us to a table for four. A few steps next to us was a long table, put together with several smaller tables, apparently reserved for a big party.
We sat down. Dr Hand said to me, "Let's get you started with some booze … by the way, I have not asked for your name."
"I am Jack". I said, surprised that there were people who actually cared to know my name.
"Nice meeting you, Jack. I am Hand. This is Prada, " he pointed to the high heel and then the red jacket "and this is Grace."
"Nice to meet you, Jack!" The girls said. Under their sun glasses, their smiles were beautiful and adorable. They must be angels God sent to me for this Christmas.
Hand asked the waiter to get us a bottle of vintage merlot.
The menu looked real steep. Every dish was over fifty bucks. "Just to make sure, you guys are gonna pay for the meal, right?"
"Positive," Hand smiled."Feel free to order. This won't happen too often."
Alright! What the heck! I ordered a fish dish priced at 70 bucks, a salad priced at 20 and a calamari priced at 35.
The waiter poured wine for us and Hand held up his glass and said, "Jack, Merry Christmas！”
Christmas lights twinkled on the roofs, on the treetops, and on the store windows. This was a neighbourhood I had never been to. Jewellry stores, brand names, high-end restaurants and pubs were all over the street.
On our way here, I was told the plan of the night. It could be a challenge for me, but I am a smart man and, hey, what do I have to lose? and it would be fun to do something special, to be some one different, and, don't forget, to have a real nice meal. -- After all, this is Christmas Eve.
Nights are cold at this time of the year. We got off the car and quickly ran into the restaurant.
This was a nice restaurant, beautifully decorated. An old Christmas tune was playing softly. It was this deep voice singing "I am dreaming ... of a white ... Christmas...", making the place feel cozy, peaceful and romantic. All of a sudden, a strange idea came to me. It would be nice to have a girlfriend and take her here on a date.
A waiter walked up, "Good evening, did you have a reservation?"
The guy answered, "Yes, I spoke to Bob on the phone and yes, we had a reservation".
The waiter smiled, "yes, you are Mr Hand?"
"No, Doctor, Doctor Hand." The guy looked very serious.
The girls giggled.
The waiter looked at him, and then at me, a suspicious smirk on his face. "Yes, Dr Hand. Bob had it all arranged. Please come with me."
He led us to a table for four. A few steps next to us was a long table, put together with several smaller tables, apparently reserved for a big party.
We sat down. Dr Hand said to me, "Let's get you started with some booze … by the way, I have not asked for your name."
"I am Jack". I said, surprised that there were people who actually cared to know my name.
"Nice meeting you, Jack. I am Hand. This is Prada, " he pointed to the high heel and then the red jacket "and this is Grace."
"Nice to meet you, Jack!" The girls said. Under their sun glasses, their smiles were beautiful and adorable. They must be angels God sent to me for this Christmas.
Hand asked the waiter to get us a bottle of vintage merlot.
The menu looked real steep. Every dish was over fifty bucks. "Just to make sure, you guys are gonna pay for the meal, right?"
"Positive," Hand smiled."Feel free to order. This won't happen too often."
Alright! What the heck! I ordered a fish dish priced at 70 bucks, a salad priced at 20 and a calamari priced at 35.
The waiter poured wine for us and Hand held up his glass and said, "Jack, Merry Christmas！”
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还没看呢，咋回事，有幸能陪着这极品流浪汉吃顿晚餐 也安慰一下俺滴悲悯情怀：）
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The meal was great. The only thing I ever had that was comparable to this was perhaps the dinner my mom used to cook. But that was a long long time ago. So long ago that I almost had forgotten.
With two glasses of wine, I started to feel warm and a bit high. This has been a wonderful night! Even without the 60 dollar pocket money that I will get, I say, this is definitely worth it!
Watching Hand, Prada and Grace eating with their sun glasses on, I wanted to laugh. I wondered how they were able to see their food. I guessed other people might feel the same, since from time to time, I saw people from other tables look at us curiously. I did not care. I am sure the gang was too cool to care either. They simply threw jokes at each other, and sometimes at me, as they ate.
When we all finished our food, Hand asked me, "desert or another round of booze?"
I said "booze". Hand then had the waiter open another bottle of merlot for us.
Having a sip of her wine, Grace spoke to me, "Jack, do you really enjoy staying on the street?"
"Well, I wouldn't say I particularly enjoy it, but it is easy, " I said, "and couldn't be easier."
"But, maybe with SOME effort, you might enjoy a better life?"
That actually got me thinking. I could not remember when was the last time I actually made an effort on something.
As I was trying to make an intelligent answer, Hand tapped the table with his fingers, "Attention, ladies and gentlemen, " he whispered, slowly, "here, comes our target."
A group of ten-ish Asian people walked in and sat at the long table next to us. Among them, there was a cute skinny girl wearing a thick pair of glasses, perhaps a university student having worked too hard; there was a sporty-looking girl with short hair dyed in pinkish red, who seemed fairly westernized; there was, wow, a hot babe in a low-cut V-neck dress, green and sleeveless; there was a slim young woman wearing a traditional Chinese dress and a classic Eastern smile but unfortunately also a pair of glasses with a black frame that looked really heavy; and there was this elegant-looking neatly dressed lady, who, strangely, held in her hands two bottles of pickled red peppers.
After checking out the women one by one, I moved my eyes to the guys in the party.
Immediately, I recognized the guy who came with Hand last time and brought me to the movie. He still wore a pair of glasses. His hair grew longer and looked softer and thinner, which, according to a theory I overheard, was a sign of belonging to the higher class of the society. I seemed to remember that his name was Yong Bao.
Then there was this guy who I sat with last time in the movie theatre. His eyes seemed smaller than I thought. But I supposed they were just like this before and it was perhaps my memory that was inaccurate, or else, how could they change? I could not see whether he still wore that shinny pair of leather shoes, but surely he did not wear the dress suit this time, instead, he had on him a sweater with outrageously bright and colourful patterns. Hey, buddy, if all you want is to be impressive, you made it!
There were a couple of other guys. What caught my eyes was an older but tough looking guy among them, muscularly built, like a cowboy or a Kungfu master. That made me concerned. I asked Hand, "you sure we wanna do this?"
With two glasses of wine, I started to feel warm and a bit high. This has been a wonderful night! Even without the 60 dollar pocket money that I will get, I say, this is definitely worth it!
Watching Hand, Prada and Grace eating with their sun glasses on, I wanted to laugh. I wondered how they were able to see their food. I guessed other people might feel the same, since from time to time, I saw people from other tables look at us curiously. I did not care. I am sure the gang was too cool to care either. They simply threw jokes at each other, and sometimes at me, as they ate.
When we all finished our food, Hand asked me, "desert or another round of booze?"
I said "booze". Hand then had the waiter open another bottle of merlot for us.
Having a sip of her wine, Grace spoke to me, "Jack, do you really enjoy staying on the street?"
"Well, I wouldn't say I particularly enjoy it, but it is easy, " I said, "and couldn't be easier."
"But, maybe with SOME effort, you might enjoy a better life?"
That actually got me thinking. I could not remember when was the last time I actually made an effort on something.
As I was trying to make an intelligent answer, Hand tapped the table with his fingers, "Attention, ladies and gentlemen, " he whispered, slowly, "here, comes our target."
A group of ten-ish Asian people walked in and sat at the long table next to us. Among them, there was a cute skinny girl wearing a thick pair of glasses, perhaps a university student having worked too hard; there was a sporty-looking girl with short hair dyed in pinkish red, who seemed fairly westernized; there was, wow, a hot babe in a low-cut V-neck dress, green and sleeveless; there was a slim young woman wearing a traditional Chinese dress and a classic Eastern smile but unfortunately also a pair of glasses with a black frame that looked really heavy; and there was this elegant-looking neatly dressed lady, who, strangely, held in her hands two bottles of pickled red peppers.
After checking out the women one by one, I moved my eyes to the guys in the party.
Immediately, I recognized the guy who came with Hand last time and brought me to the movie. He still wore a pair of glasses. His hair grew longer and looked softer and thinner, which, according to a theory I overheard, was a sign of belonging to the higher class of the society. I seemed to remember that his name was Yong Bao.
Then there was this guy who I sat with last time in the movie theatre. His eyes seemed smaller than I thought. But I supposed they were just like this before and it was perhaps my memory that was inaccurate, or else, how could they change? I could not see whether he still wore that shinny pair of leather shoes, but surely he did not wear the dress suit this time, instead, he had on him a sweater with outrageously bright and colourful patterns. Hey, buddy, if all you want is to be impressive, you made it!
There were a couple of other guys. What caught my eyes was an older but tough looking guy among them, muscularly built, like a cowboy or a Kungfu master. That made me concerned. I asked Hand, "you sure we wanna do this?"
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