精华 [讨论] 家庭暴力

[Wanderer]

最初由 渐渐 发布
How do you distinguish 磕磕碰碰 from domestic violence?

磕磕碰碰 to me means the different opinions between a couple and the different problem-solving methods which he/she like to use. I was intending to get into the next step:

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最初由 shusheng 发布
On the other hand, I would also like to see discusstion about WHY "家庭暴力" happens?
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When 磕磕碰碰 happens, you could say out straight your opinions and insist on your methods to solve problems (because you have use them for long time and the methods did work for you), at the same time you have to think about what your husband/wife's thoughts and feelings. Could he/she be able to take your opinions, and could he/she be able to accept your methods? He/she might not be, even the words which you used to explain your opinions.

Discussion could happen between a couple, but we have to know how to make the discussion to happen in a talkable situation. Otherwise, the 磕磕碰碰 might go into family fighting or violence.

On the other hand, the man of a traditional family always has more responsibility on the family issues. He is supposed to solve more family problems than his wife. If he has to take more responsibility and can not make more decissions, what can he do? Family fighting could be a simple solution for past many years, but now he has to find other ways because of civilization. My question is what wife should do, only take decission power from her husband?

 

[oread]

I diagree, without knowing the root cause of a problem, it's impossible to solve it.

最初由 chef 发布
找办法解决远比找到原因重要的多.

 

[Wanderer]

可是谁结婚是为了挨打得？ 听话的不挨打.

最初由 丫丫 发布

:flaming: 这是一种非常无耻的逻辑:flaming:

对不起，俺骂人了，可是，俺不准备收回:smokin:

 

[oread]

Ok your definition of 磕磕碰碰 is not far from mine, normal family dispute is what I'd define it. However normal family dispute that escalates to the use of physical force is considered abuse. Again, I urge you to use common-sense.

In response to the case you described below, you should treat your wife as EQUAL party. Equality for many Chinese men are merely punch words, but don't actually mean anything. Members of the family should share equal responsiblities and make joint decisions together. Why should men be the ones making all the decisions? Why would men take more responsiblity for family problems? Would that be a normal family?

最初由 Wanderer 发布
On the other hand, the man of a traditional family always has more responsibility on the family issues. He is supposed to solve more family problems than his wife. If he has to take more responsibility and can not make more decissions, what can he do? Family fighting could be a simple solution for past many years, but now he has to find other ways because of civilization. My question is what wife should do, only take decission power from her husband?

 

[Wanderer]

最初由 chef 发布
不是说一定就要通过法律解决问题.看看

1.你的好友
2.你的其他家庭成员
3.你所在的社区服务中心
4.你的同事
5.你常去的教会
6.你参加的社团组织
7.你的家庭医生
8.你可以借助的媒体(网,报纸甚至电视)
...
能不能帮助你.

 

[Wanderer]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Ok your definition of 磕磕碰碰 is not far from mine, normal family dispute is what I'd define it. However normal family dispute that escalates to the use of physical force is considered abuse. Again, I urge you to use common-sense.

In response to the case you described below, you should treat your wife as EQUAL party. Equality for many Chinese men are merely punch words, but don't actually mean anything. Members of the family should share equal responsiblities and make joint decisions together. Why should men be the ones making all the decisions? Why would men take more responsiblity for family problems? Would that be a normal family?

I did not say that men should make all the decisions.....

Does the Canada law make sure that every members of a family share equal responsiblities? Does the Canada law say how every members of a family share equal responsiblities?

 

[SUPER&ME]

最初由 渐渐 发布
I diagree, without knowing the root cause of a problem, it's impossible to solve it.

不是不去了解.我所强调的重点应放在如何解决问题上

 

[oread]

Are you trying to say that you agree with what we've been discussed so far, however your only problem is with battered women seeking help from law enforcement?

The law is there to protect each citizen. Of course it is not the ONLY means to resolve domestic problems, but it is ONE way to get help. You sounded like that battered women SHOULD NOT seek help from law enforcement agencies whatsoever.

My intention here is to provide some information for women in an abusive relationship, that there are helps available, and that they are not alone.

最初由 Wanderer 发布


I did not say that men should make all the decisions.....

Does the Canada law make sure that every members of a family share equal responsiblities? Does the Canada law say how every members of a family share equal responsiblities?

 

[oread]

Do you have any thoughts on that?

最初由 chef 发布


不是不去了解.我所强调的重点应放在如何解决问题上

 

[SUPER&ME]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Do you have any thoughts on that?

有.但我保留沉默的权利...

 

[有去无回]

最初由 Wanderer 发布

您这是巴掌吧？家丑外扬该打得吧:blink:

 

[Wanderer]

最初由 渐渐 发布
Are you trying to say that you agree with what we've been discussed so far, however your only problem is with battered women seeking help from law enforcement?

The law is there to protect each citizen. Of course it is not the ONLY means to resolve domestic problems, but it is ONE way to get help. You sounded like that battered women SHOULD NOT seek help from law enforcement agencies whatsoever.

My intention here is to provide some information for women in an abusive relationship, that there are helps available, and that they are not alone.

If a woman has decided to divorce and wants to put her ex-husband in law trouble, she can seek any available helps. It is like a war.

If not, she has to think about what kind of help she should seek, what kind of results she and her husband could accept.

To all couples: change your words to avoid argument first.

 

[Wanderer]

最初由 丫丫 发布
您这是巴掌吧？家丑外扬该打得吧:blink:

I did not realize that I put too many hands there...

 

[Wanderer]

最初由 丫丫 发布

:flaming: 这是一种非常无耻的逻辑:flaming:

对不起，俺骂人了，可是，俺不准备收回:smokin: [/B]

Something was wrong here.

 

[oread]

I should have said that!