精华 谁还愿意去这样的舞蹈学校？
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唉。。。。
这里面有歧视也说不定，可是谁先搬民族出来说谁就一定先吃亏嘛。。。。先是人家就是歧视也不会认，何况如果整个事情根本只是一个误会那人家将来可能就真的会变歧视。。。。那是损同胞而不利己的。。。。
愿意去了解和谈是很积极正面的。。。。可是当时语法用不好用词不当投诉时没有策略又没有先找人指点一下就去递信了那就做得不好了。。。。(我知道很多日本韩国印度妈妈英语不好，要投诉就会托其他英语表达能力好和了解本地沟通文化的妈妈帮忙)
现在孩子不要跳就算了，我觉得就算她们勉强跟孩子道歉也不能挽救孩子已经受到的创伤。。。。(先是自己妈妈给人说，在同辈之间早已没了面子，后又可能会对自己是中国人而产生怀疑)。。。。跳舞是需要自信的，没了自信只会跳得好痛苦。。。。我知道你很愤怒也很伤心，可是现在已经没有办法，那老师不愿意跟你沟通，你也递了个用词不当没策略的信。。。。唉。。。。只有在往后的日子继续努力吧。。。。
这里面有歧视也说不定，可是谁先搬民族出来说谁就一定先吃亏嘛。。。。先是人家就是歧视也不会认，何况如果整个事情根本只是一个误会那人家将来可能就真的会变歧视。。。。那是损同胞而不利己的。。。。
愿意去了解和谈是很积极正面的。。。。可是当时语法用不好用词不当投诉时没有策略又没有先找人指点一下就去递信了那就做得不好了。。。。(我知道很多日本韩国印度妈妈英语不好，要投诉就会托其他英语表达能力好和了解本地沟通文化的妈妈帮忙)
现在孩子不要跳就算了，我觉得就算她们勉强跟孩子道歉也不能挽救孩子已经受到的创伤。。。。(先是自己妈妈给人说，在同辈之间早已没了面子，后又可能会对自己是中国人而产生怀疑)。。。。跳舞是需要自信的，没了自信只会跳得好痛苦。。。。我知道你很愤怒也很伤心，可是现在已经没有办法，那老师不愿意跟你沟通，你也递了个用词不当没策略的信。。。。唉。。。。只有在往后的日子继续努力吧。。。。
那个"You leave me no option but to release Dydia from the school and wish her every success in another dance school." 做成这样的结果也是因为你用词里面针对"Canadian Chinese"，对他们提出了(没根据的)强烈指控。。。。回信的人会觉得反正你已经认定他们就是针对"Canadian Chinese"，那你以后什么事情都只会认为孩子不被公平对待，所以他们才说要让你的孩子走。。。。老师道不道歉你已经管不到了，但你是否也应该为自己的处理不当跟孩子道个歉?
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仔细想想又觉得织毛衣是有点不太合适. 聊天是不太费脑子的事情, 随时可以中断, 而织毛衣在这里人眼里看简直就是一个职业. 另外这里的人把聊天也看成一种发展公共关系的方式, 是个人都会聊而且乐此不疲. 如果我们新移民口语没那么好, 当然感觉聊天比织毛衣费劲多了.
这是第一代移民的成长烦恼, 当成一个教训吧. 一样的事情, 本地人处理会比我们轻松, 因为他们没有语言障碍, 没有文化隔阂, 而我们做为第一代移民, 就是不可避免地要辛苦很多. 以后凡事多从文化背景去考虑一下, 并不光是语言上的差别, 很多时候文化差异是更深层的那个东西, 是造成很多误解的原因.
这是第一代移民的成长烦恼, 当成一个教训吧. 一样的事情, 本地人处理会比我们轻松, 因为他们没有语言障碍, 没有文化隔阂, 而我们做为第一代移民, 就是不可避免地要辛苦很多. 以后凡事多从文化背景去考虑一下, 并不光是语言上的差别, 很多时候文化差异是更深层的那个东西, 是造成很多误解的原因.
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我觉得这里面有不少误会，当然那个老太太当全班孩子的面批评孩子家长是非常不职业的行为，应该死咬住这一点做文章，至少也要老太太当全班的面将此事再解释一遍，跟孩子道歉才对。
这样的事的确应该当面讲，书面对话有时候会有理解上的误区，尤其是在文化背景不同的情况下。我建议你还是找校长和老太太亲自谈一回，无论结果如何至少尝试过。就把你写在帖子里的想法跟他们说，为什么用“加拿大中国人”等等。这里面不乏有校长或老太太的偏见，但既然目的是为安抚孩子，还是要先抓主要矛盾。
至于你女儿那里我真不知道说什么好，可怜的孩子。。。
这样的事的确应该当面讲，书面对话有时候会有理解上的误区，尤其是在文化背景不同的情况下。我建议你还是找校长和老太太亲自谈一回，无论结果如何至少尝试过。就把你写在帖子里的想法跟他们说，为什么用“加拿大中国人”等等。这里面不乏有校长或老太太的偏见，但既然目的是为安抚孩子，还是要先抓主要矛盾。
至于你女儿那里我真不知道说什么好，可怜的孩子。。。
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Re: Re: Re: Re: 谁还愿意去这样的舞蹈学校？
同情楼主女儿, 碰到这种情况真的是很抬不起头来, 那个老师实在不应该那么一而再再而三地在同学面前指摘.
但根据楼主自己的一些辨别, 也看出楼主的思想疙瘩在哪里了. 楼主认为她织毛衣作为休息是正当行为.
开个善意的玩笑: 楼主, 假设数年后某一天你女儿结婚, 你大宴宾客请了200多位嘉宾, 你有7-8位好友到家里来帮你张罗筵席, 其中一位看了看觉得来帮忙的人够多了, 而且她自己只负责洗杯子, 而眼下没有脏杯子... ... 于是她就坐在边上织起毛衣来, 而你手忙脚乱的时候并没有注意到, 另一个朋友注意到了, 后来告诉了你... ... 很想知道你在后来将会怎么评价你这位织毛衣的朋友的.
说这个话觉不是要指责你什么. 而是希望你换一个角度去想这个问题, 也许就知道问题症结在哪里, 也许你的处理方式就不同了.
(当然了, 还是觉得那个老师的做法实在不地道. 有本事直接跟家长理论, 在背后那孩子的幼小心灵当靶子给自己出气, 实在不配当老师.)
同情楼主女儿, 碰到这种情况真的是很抬不起头来, 那个老师实在不应该那么一而再再而三地在同学面前指摘.
但根据楼主自己的一些辨别, 也看出楼主的思想疙瘩在哪里了. 楼主认为她织毛衣作为休息是正当行为.
开个善意的玩笑: 楼主, 假设数年后某一天你女儿结婚, 你大宴宾客请了200多位嘉宾, 你有7-8位好友到家里来帮你张罗筵席, 其中一位看了看觉得来帮忙的人够多了, 而且她自己只负责洗杯子, 而眼下没有脏杯子... ... 于是她就坐在边上织起毛衣来, 而你手忙脚乱的时候并没有注意到, 另一个朋友注意到了, 后来告诉了你... ... 很想知道你在后来将会怎么评价你这位织毛衣的朋友的.
说这个话觉不是要指责你什么. 而是希望你换一个角度去想这个问题, 也许就知道问题症结在哪里, 也许你的处理方式就不同了.
(当然了, 还是觉得那个老师的做法实在不地道. 有本事直接跟家长理论, 在背后那孩子的幼小心灵当靶子给自己出气, 实在不配当老师.)
iwantbicycles
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1)If you want to volunteer, do it as you please. Don't say doing it to change people's ill impression because "OTHER" Chinese do not like volunteering or "donating". It's like "acting" to be a saint. I found it rather insulting and pretentious. If chinese do NOT participate the volunteer work much, it's not about the ethnics or selfishness, it has lot to do with the economical standing, the language skill, and the personality--being shy and introvert.
2)If you feel hurt by the "director"'s response, confront her/him and fight. It's likely you don't have a big social networking, otherwise a letter with such language won't be drafted by the director at the first place. Even if you made an overstatement or improper accusation, the educator has no call to react like that. Can't feel much respect or regard from that "kick-out" letter except a haughty attitude and irritation. What you are posting is also like "hiding" here and smearing their reputation without the guts to even name the school, the director, and the instructor. If what you said is "untainted" , what are you worrying about by naming them? Is that illegal? Why don't you share this story with a local paper columnist and let some guy write a glorifying story about the school? No matter how delayed a complaint is, a professional and responsible person will do an investigation and try to ease the tension. If what you show here is true, it is quite obvious the school director got cornered by your "serious" words and try to bite you first to secure her position. It IS a serious accusation. The discrimination might be true but few people have the courage or honesty to admit it. If I were at your position that a parent felt troubled by the school's response, I would get everying in the light and try get an apology. Somebody has to take the position to regret. Either you or the person who insulted you or your daughter.
3)Poor verbal skill is not a problem. Agitated minds ARE.
4)Your complaint letter is more like a burst. It's like Ren Wu Ke Ren, Wu Xu Zai Ren. It's also somewhat like stabbing people's back. It's a bad asian heritage---hold-nag-hold-brew-hold-hold-hold-burst out of blue. If you kept silent at the beginning and never brought that issue up but you can't truly tolerate it, recreate a similar scenario with the very same person and then complain two things together and voice your concern. Always communicate with the primary party first and do things in an open platform. Be consistent and be truthful and again consistent. You smiled at them, do it always even if you never liked them. Or, You don't like them, don't ever offer a sweet smile and say "I love you" and then turn around with a chilly storm.
2)If you feel hurt by the "director"'s response, confront her/him and fight. It's likely you don't have a big social networking, otherwise a letter with such language won't be drafted by the director at the first place. Even if you made an overstatement or improper accusation, the educator has no call to react like that. Can't feel much respect or regard from that "kick-out" letter except a haughty attitude and irritation. What you are posting is also like "hiding" here and smearing their reputation without the guts to even name the school, the director, and the instructor. If what you said is "untainted" , what are you worrying about by naming them? Is that illegal? Why don't you share this story with a local paper columnist and let some guy write a glorifying story about the school? No matter how delayed a complaint is, a professional and responsible person will do an investigation and try to ease the tension. If what you show here is true, it is quite obvious the school director got cornered by your "serious" words and try to bite you first to secure her position. It IS a serious accusation. The discrimination might be true but few people have the courage or honesty to admit it. If I were at your position that a parent felt troubled by the school's response, I would get everying in the light and try get an apology. Somebody has to take the position to regret. Either you or the person who insulted you or your daughter.
3)Poor verbal skill is not a problem. Agitated minds ARE.
4)Your complaint letter is more like a burst. It's like Ren Wu Ke Ren, Wu Xu Zai Ren. It's also somewhat like stabbing people's back. It's a bad asian heritage---hold-nag-hold-brew-hold-hold-hold-burst out of blue. If you kept silent at the beginning and never brought that issue up but you can't truly tolerate it, recreate a similar scenario with the very same person and then complain two things together and voice your concern. Always communicate with the primary party first and do things in an open platform. Be consistent and be truthful and again consistent. You smiled at them, do it always even if you never liked them. Or, You don't like them, don't ever offer a sweet smile and say "I love you" and then turn around with a chilly storm.
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